Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[Cirocco]

granted. You are given a virus condenamed "aini". honestly there's not much corrupting to be done here

I wish for perfection.

[Overfloater]

Granted: 99.8% of the world's population listen to heavy metal instead of pop music.

I wish for a stinky pile of poo.

[InterCity]

Granted. It's your job to clean it now.

I wish for less stupid people requiring my attention at work.

And btw...

Granted: 99.8% of the world's population listen to heavy metal instead of pop music.

That's not corrupted at all. In fact, it IS perfection

[Ethanadams]

Granted now all the geniuses in the world require work from you

I wish to know who green iron crown was and what he did.

[Dman979]

Granted. Now you are his mother, crying for him at his funeral when he stepped a mine.

I want a puppy.

Edited April 9, 2015 by Dman979
ninja

[Columbia]

Granted. The puppy, however, requires your attention day and night, and you can't leave him alone.

He also likes to eat your food.

I wish to be able to send Kerbals to Jool.

[Yukon0009]

Granted. They burn in atmosphere.

I wish for a pet bird.

[Ethanadams]

Granted I eat it

i wish for ninjas stop skipping because I ninjaed them

[Xannari Ferrows]

Granted. You get an apple, as your with made no sense.

I wish my Oberth burns weren't so tedious. 1 minute burn time for 20 m/s... Try living with that.

[Deutherius]

Granted! Elevator music now plays whenever you do these long burns to reduce the tedium.

I wish to have more time available, so I can get more stuff done.

[mythbusters844]

Granted. You get 14 years of free time, but you're now on a space station that orbits tightly around a large black hole. As a result, you use up all your time within 4 hours.

I wish for a street-legal car that's a scaled-down Ranger from Interstellar.

[Endersmens]

Granted. It's scaled down to the size of a matchbox car.

I wish, I wish, upon a star, to travel, reach, and land on mars. (Safely, of course )

[Deutherius]

Granted! The store's owner is mad at you for stepping on his chocolate bar.

I wish for better guitar playing skills.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. Shortly after you lose your fingers to frostbite.

I wish for a free, healthy, delicious lunch made for me every day.

[Deutherius]

Granted. You also get free, delicious and healthy dinners, breakfasts and snacks! The meals are all the same, however, and you get tired of it pretty quickly. Not even a chance of getting anything else.

I wish to speak more languages.

[Overfloater]

Granted: u now can speak girrafe, owl, and penguin.

I wish to know all of the European human languages.

[Deutherius]

Granted. Your knowledge is considerable, but useless, as everyone starts to speak Chinese.

I wish to have an owl, giraffe and a penguin to have a nice conversation with.

[gamowin]

Granted, but they only speak in reverse Polish.

I wish for Time Warner Cable to increase their maximum bandwidth by installing more cables.

[LABHOUSE]

Granted, the cables go through your ears into that large hollow space.

I wish for my vision to get better.

[Downside Up]

Granted, but you're deaf, and on fire.

I wish for more oxygen in the atmosphere.

[megatiger78]

oxygen can kill people.

I wish to explode all the fish.

[Endersmens]

This wish doesn't even need corrupting. All the fish explode. A major food source is lost, the ocean pretty much dies, and the whole world starts shutting down. Nice one.

I wish I didn't have to wish this wish.

[Downside Up]

Too bad.

I wish I could land on the sun with no consequences.

[Endersmens]

Too bad.

I wish I could land on the sun with no consequences.

You land and are instantly vaporized. Thankfully the sun suffered no consequences.

I wish I had a computer to play KSP on.

[Downside Up]

Granted, but KSP lags to all holy h***.

I wish my computer was better.