Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[Delfinus]

Error, Wish.exe. not found.

I wish Earth's night sky looked more awesome.

[cantab]

Granted

I wish to be an all-powerful free genie.

[DMSP]

Wish granted. Since you're all powerful, the universe cannot handle such powerfulness in one genie and promptly collapses.

 

I wish Vanilla could freely rain from the sky on my demand.

[Andem]

Granted. You can only eat raw potatos for the rest of you're life.

I wish my computer had moar RAM.

[Kerbal kerman]

Granted but it crashed in to the floor

i wish for Jeb Kerman in a glass case

[cubinator]

Granted, but everyone is mad that you trapped Jeb in a glass case, so you get sued and they free him.

I wish there were still living trilobites in the oceans.

Edited May 6, 2016 by cubinator

[Kerbal kerman]

Granted but they eat you

i wish for a cat in a glass case with jeb

[cantab]

Granted. But you get convicted of animal cruelty.

I wish a northern hemisphere star more than 5 light-years away would go supernova tonight.

[LaytheDragon]

9 minutes ago, cantab said:

Granted. But you get convicted of animal cruelty.

I wish a northern hemisphere star more than 5 light-years away would go supernova tonight.

Granted. You watch the sky and nothing happens. Time to wait five years, just to see the supernova. You wait five years.... It is now five years later. You scan the sky for it, but find that the Moon was blocking it. You wish you could be invincible. Granted. You wish you could now be teleported to said star. Granted. You use your last wish to teleport a now--invincible self to the inside of the star. Five seconds later, it goes supernova, and you can only see white (you won't go blind, as you are invincible) for the first few seconds, but before you know it, you are flying on an escape trajectory away from the exploded star, with no genie, and invincibility. You are left to suffer in the cold blackness of space.

I wish that my dog's tongue would keep growing until the point in which it were as long as the circumference of the Earth.

 

[Delfinus]

Granted, but the Dog is thrown into Space, as nobody likes their planet being covered in a giant tongue.

I wish this week never happened.

[cubinator]

Granted. You go to sleep and wake up on Monday morning, 2 May 1984. You have a telescreen in your room, and outside your window you can see a billboard with a picture of an ominous man, the caption reading "BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU". Have fun.

I wish me and one person of my choice could live as long as we want.

[spacebrick3]

You can live as long as you want, but you have to hold that number in your head forever or the spell will break. You and the other person spend your time frozen, inbreathing, thinking of the number.

I wish that the Planet Nine mod would update...

[Delfinus]

Granted, but no other mods update ever again.

I wish I lived on a inner moon of a Gas Giant.

[max_creative]

Granted, but your Laythe acsent vehicle exploded and you are stuck at dolphin HQ. 

I wish my room was less of a mess so I could play ksp.

[Andem]

Granted. You're room is a black hole with mass equal to the milky way.

 

I wish KSP 1.1.2 was more stable with mods.

[Delfinus]

Granted, all mods are stable, including the "4th wall breach!" mod, which opens a portal between the Kerb-verse and our own Universe, unfortunately the Kraken comes through it...

I wish I ruled the world.

[ZentroCatson]

Granted, but a asteroid destroys the world.

I wish for a nicer home with a window above my bed so I can look at the stars before falling asleep.

[Delfinus]

Granted, but it's on Dres.

 

Edit: I wish I remembered to make a wish.

Edited May 8, 2016 by DolphinDude3

[cubinator]

Granted. That was your one wish, your genie will now retire to his lamp on Lake Superior and never grant any wishes again.

I wish the Mercury transit tomorrow started two hours later.

[DMSP]

47 minutes ago, cubinator said:

Granted. That was your one wish, your genie will now retire to his lamp on Lake Superior and never grant any wishes again.

I wish the Mercury transit tomorrow started two hours later.

 

Granted, right before the beginning of the transit, Mercury jumps two hours relative backwards and the Earth rotates to compansate, causing a disruption in the solar system, which eventually leads to Mercury being shot into Venus, where a fragment of both disturb some asteroids that bring raining Mercuvenus down to Earth.

 

I wish that I could have a stable lucid dream

[cubinator]

Granted, it is so stable that the only thing that can wake you up is if North Korea drops an atomic bomb on New York City.

I wish KSP hadn't crashed.

[Kerbalstar]

Granted but everything else on your computer crashes and when you buy a new one and install KSP on it the same thing happens, and then you buy another one and don't install KSP it does the same thing and you can never have another computer.

I wish for stock fuel hoses

Edited May 8, 2016 by kerbalstar

[cubinator]

Granted.

I wish everyone would forget that Dres exists so that they would stop fighting about it.

[SpaceplaneAddict]

Granted, the new "Dres" of the game becomes little Bop, and you die of eternal suffering.

 

 

I wish for nuu spaceplane jet.

[max_creative]

Granted, but you forgot to clean up, and I you crash into the debris of the 1.1 hype train. 

I wish my Dres payload 1 would actually get to orbit without the boosters exploding on separation so I could send it to Dres.