Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[Tery215]

Granted. There's a reason most of the planet is devoid of kerbals...

Your Kerbal city was destroyed by the Deep-Space Kraken.

I wish for a space engine(er).

[K.A.S.A.]

Granted, but it is Jebediah Kerman after he quits being an astronaut and goes to office work.

I wish for my very own space shuttle.

[Designer225]

Granted. It explodes. (RIP STS-51-L )

I wish for something, but I also wish for nothing.

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

ERROR 1337: Too many arguments to function. One wish only.

I wish for Trevor Philips.

[Vaporo]

Granted. I hand you a Philips head screwdriver.

I wish to be capable of making any object, including myself, invisible or visible at will.

[Tery215]

Granted. The Wishmaking Fairy assumes that making things invisible means placing bleach on them, and making things visible means placing sulfuric acid on them. (The wishmaking fairy's job is hard, you know..)

You try it on yourself first.

I wish for 10^700 forum posts.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. The forum then moves to Curse and no one goes there any more.

I wish people weren't so greedy and self-interested.

[Vaporo]

Granted. Nothing ever gets done anymore because people are too busy saying "No, I'll take out the garbage for you." "No, you relax, I'll do it." "No, I'll do it." "I'll do it!" "I'll do it!" "I'll do it!"... and so on and so forth.

I wish to become a successful Ghostbuster.

[Tery215]

Granted. You are successful at creating busts of ghosts, but nobody can really understand why they're buying busts of nothing...

I wish for giants.

[SolarLiner]

Granted. One doesn't see you and you're now like a pancake.

I wish for the Ultimate Steam Summer Sales!

[Designer225]

Granted. They costs 5000% more than usual.

I wish for poor quality stuff.

[kenbobo]

Granted, but the flower is poisoned.

I wish for a wormhole.

I see noone answered you.

You end up in a black hole that takes you to the core of the Galaxy, which has way too much stellar radiation for human life.

Now for the present.

Granted. They are so horrible that you self-destruct.

I wish for my birthday to come now.

Edited June 17, 2014 by kenbobo

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. You are now 107 years old. You weren't supposed to live that long, so you die instantly.

I wish for the USA to somehow win the World Cup.

Edited June 17, 2014 by THENEWJOEMAMA
made a derf

[Uberlyuber]

DENIED

Lol jk, granted, but then a lot of conspiracy theorists say that the US never won and it was all a hoax, despite the fact that there's no evidence to prove it

I wish that I could meet Jebediah Kerman in real life.

Edited June 17, 2014 by Uberlyuber

[SolarLiner]

Granted, but him arriving riding a booster burns you completely.

I wish to go to Alpha Centauri!

[Rainbowtrout]

You end up so close to it that you burn up.

[Tery215]

Granted. You wasted your wish.

I wish I could survive old age.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. You are killed while still young, wasting your ability to survive old age.

I wish people were more courteous.

[Tery215]

Granted. People are zombies in bowties.

I wish for a tissue box.

[cziken20]

Granted. The box is so unuseful you die from it.

I wish for what the hell.

[Fox Arcana]

Granted. You die and then burn in hell.

I wish bacon bacon.

[vexx32]

Granted. You are now bacon, and are being prepared for the King's feast.

I wish for imaginary amounts of pie.

[Endersmens]

granted. Since some people have no imagination, you get no imaginary pie.

I wish my internet wasn't slow and buggy.

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. Your internet is seized by the FBI for being too fast, or something.

I wish for Codename: Kids Next Door to come back.

[General Rarity]

Granted, but it is only broadcast in Antarctica.

I wish for my KV-2 to come back to me.