Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[vexx32]

Granted, but now you must manually collect gunpowder from creepers with only an antenna to use as a weapon in order to fuel your rockets.

I wish world hunger was history.

[mrrpamplemousse]

Granted, now zombie apocalypse is reality

I wish to be better with riddles

[vexx32]

Granted, but nobody will waste their time guessing because they transcend human comprehension and so we all just decide to kill you instead.

I wish I had motivation.

[sjwt]

Granted, post once more tonight and I'll give you a week ban.

I wish I didn't have ban fellow mods who wont go to bed

[mrrpamplemousse]

Granted, you have to ban them for NSFW contents

I wish I knew less about those strange subject.

[xxjetterxx]

Not granted. HA!

(okay, just kidding, granted, now you know more about NSFL Content.)

I wish to have the best life in history.

[vexx32]

Granted, but you are, naturally, erased from the history books as a result.

I wish for pie.

[pedorsf]

Granted, but it is poisonous.

I wish for get hacking habilities

Edited November 10, 2013 by pedorsf

[Fox Arcana]

Granted, you only know how to hack your computer to get it to explode.

I wish for hot pockets.

[vexx32]

Granted, but touching them gives you third-degree burns, and they never cool down.

I wish for an ice pack.

[TechnicalK3rbal]

Granted, but items cold you "burn" your fingers off.

I wish for the kraken to not eat the forum again.

[vexx32]

Granted, but Cthulhu eats it instead.

I wish we had a definitive pronunciation of Cthulhu.

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. Only you can say it right.

I wish I could hax.

[BFGfreak]

Granted, it looks like someone want's to see you though.

I wish for a fine bottle of Scotch.

[vexx32]

Granted, but you drop it, causing it to shatter, and one of the slivers of glass enters your eye and pierces your brain, rendering you a vegetable.

I wish for a rubik's cube. I like rubik's cubes.

[Annoyingorbits]

Granted, you waste the rest of your life trying to solve it

I wish I could finish series 5-7 of Doctor who before new season.

[vexx32]

Granted, but you die three seconds before the new season is released.

I wish I could take over the world.

[Annoyingorbits]

Granted, then the people overthrow you.

I wish I could comprehend:

The statement below is True

The statement above is False

[mrrpamplemousse]

Granted, your head explode (never try to understand paradox)

I wish to be able to follow simple instructions

[vexx32]

Granted, but now you have to follow every simple instruction, no matter how ridiculous. And, as the universe has a sick sense of humour sometimes, as you're walking down the street that day, you bump into someone who tells you to go die.

I wish I was a little less sadistic with this game.

[rasheed]

Granted, you put huge redundant systems on a small lander, making it crash due to low TWR.

I wish that meh crush likes me back.

[Bioman222]

Granted, you get the guts to ask her out, then she is tragically killed in a car driveby, and you dedicate your life to get revenge on her murderers.

I wish that was the plot of a book, manga, anime or movie.

[vexx32]

Granted, but like all the existing ones, the plot is shallow and boring.

I wish for rain.

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. You die in a hurricane.

I wish for a good quote to use.

[ThatNoob]

Granted, your new quote is "Surprise Buttsecks"

I wish for everyone to be Arstotzkan.