Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[Boosterspice]

Granted, you get none.

I wish for spoilers

[Tangle]

Beeple, but it doesn't work because you didn't say kabafarb.

I kabafarb for more kabafarbs.

[Tery215]

Beeple. There are more kabafarbs, but no more than there already will be.

I kabafarb to receive an A-Class asteroid. From space. Fully intact.

[Tangle]

Beeple, but considering the impact tolerance of asteroids in this game... Yes, it crushes your house.

I kabafarb for the seas.

[vexx32]

Null. No wish was made.

You play by my rules, in my threads...

I wish people would stop perverting the rules...

[plainawesome]

Beeple, but no one cared

I kabafarb for cookies that #$W@G.

[vexx32]

Invalid input. Commencing brain extraction for decontamination procedure.

I wish the shadows were not so restless...

[Boosterspice]

Granted, they put on dubstep and begin to dance

I wish for logic in this thread

[Tex]

Granted. A dance party breaks out in time to "Holding Out for a Hero."

I wish for more illogic.

[Shna_na]

Granted, more people turn to kabafarbing and beepleing and the thread dies.

I wish (not kabafarb) people would stick to the rules of the thread.

[Tangle]

Granted, but any fun that can be derived from this thread is gone.

I wish for bees to the second power.

[Shna_na]

Granted, but these bees rise to power. Their first act is to give all humans the death sentence.

I wish asteroids would be more considerate.

[Tangle]

Granted. However, in asteroidspeak "considerate" means "destructive".

I wish for matzoh.

[Tery215]

Granted. It doesn't like you.

I wish I had an understanding of how the disallowance of kabarbing and beepling is part of the rules.

[Tangle]

Granted, but I have to know too.

I wish that the color pink was only present in that cat.

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. However, it insists that the color is only lightish red.

I wish everyone got my reference.

[Tangle]

Granted, but you turn blood orange.

I wish that two.

[11JRidding]

You wish that 2? Since you don't wish for 2 to equal anything, 2 is no longer a number. Nice one

I wish that I did not absolutely hate the Human race

[Palladium Corp]

Granted, you instead now completely hate the Human race.

I wish that I could think of some good wishes.

[Boosterspice]

Granted, but someone wipes your memory and steals your good wishes.

I wish I could do telekinesis

[Tery215]

Granted. To do telekinesis, you have to do 5*10^700 pushups every day for 4 years.

I wish the sun was a baby face like in the creepy show, Teletubbies.

[Shna_na]

Granted, but you can only telekinetically control the dust that floats around in the air within a 1m radius of you. At least you can breathe though, eh?

I wish plants could just tell you why they're dying, they're just too quiet.

Edit: Ninja'd

Granted, but it only ever looks depressed.

My previous wish still remains.

[Boosterspice]

Granted, now everytime you go out in the forest, all you can hear is the sound of a thousand plants trying to explain why they are dying. In Dutch.

I wish for a shoe

[Javster]

Granted, but it's made of paper.

I wish for bacon...

[Tery215]

Granted. A pig chopped your back off and cooked it into bacon.

I wish there was a forum for existence itself, complete with developers, moderators, and a functioning Suggestions & Ideas section.