Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. However, because of my lack of good hearing, you become an Aryan. During a new uprising of that German party in WWII, you are kidnapped, and forced into working for them. (Didn't expect that one, did you!)

I wish I didn't have to look up stuff.

[Felsmak]

Granted. Enjoy your lobotomy!

I wish I could change my appearance at will.

[theattackcorgi]

Granted, but the only appearance you know is a turd

I wish Justin Beiber didn't exist(nice one joemamma)

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. Your last will and testament includes directions and funds to change your appearance.

Edit for ninja: Granted. Justin Barber, who is twice as popular and half as talented, takes his place.

I wish every driver used their turn signals correctly.

[theattackcorgi]

Granted, but all turns are replaced with roundabouts.

I wish that everyone on the internet could go 5 seconds without fighting one another

[plainawesome]

Granted, but the fighting resumes on the streets as oppose to the interwebs

I wish people called the internet the interwebs.

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. Everyone laughs at this so hard that they die.

I wish for KFC: Kerbal Fried Corgis.

[cziken20]

Granted. But instead it's Kerbal Fried Cogs. And the cogs are made of asbestos. So you die after you eat them. (note: they were also flavoured with arsenic)

I wish i wasnt psychopathic.

[theattackcorgi]

Granted, but now your depressed.

I wish I was president.

[Tery215]

Granted. You are now Richard Nixon, and are forced to resign by your Nixon brain.

I wish I had a value relation modifier.

Edited June 13, 2014 by Tery215

[Helix935]

granted, it prices your existence to that off nothing as it was considered equal that of poo which makes you to kill yourself

i wish that i had a supercomputer

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. It becomes Skynet. Yup.

I wish for something original.

[cziken20]

Granted. But instead original its organical. You get killed by thousands of human organs falling from space.

I wish i didnt use instead everyteim.

[Anister]

Granted, the only thing you can say is 'On the other hand', the entire time

[Tery215]

On the other hand on the other hand On the other hand on the other hand On the other hand on the other hand.

I wish to be cursed.

[Vaporo]

Granted. You are cursed to have infinite good fortune, so you no longer find a challenge in life and kill yourself.

I wish that I could write better short stories.

[Tery215]

Granted. They are too long to write.

I wish you would stop looking at my signature.

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. However, everyone else stares at it without end.

I wish I didn't have chronic insomnia. I'm so tired.

[cziken20]

Granted. Now you sleep all the time. Ur like snorlax.

I wish i hadnt always such strange dreams.

[Floppster]

Granted, you never dream again and go insane.

I wish for aögsdllllllllllllllllllllll

[Tery215]

Granted. The Wishmaking Fairy assumes it's a new kind of virus that only kills people who wish.

I wish that feeding cobwebs turned the cobwebs into dogs.

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. However, that virus you conjured up kills you before you can witness the wish.

I wish for a romantic chemical.

[Tery215]

Granted. It only works on a gender that doesn't exist.

I wish for computers to be available in nowhere.

[xrayfishx]

Granted, they are only available nowhere.

I wish I was a goat.

[Rofl47]

Granted, but you are the goat in goat simulator.

I wish to create a city for kerbals (Simcity style)