Dating Advice for Nerds/Geeks

[Northstar1989]

I thought this might be very appropriate, since many KSP players are highly intelligent, and some are probably a little awkward in real life.

What dating advice can you offer to other KSP'ers that specifically helps to work around the coolness-factor? (or rather, others' perceived lack thereof- even if we all agree nerds are cool/awesome!) How did you find your significant other? Would your suggest dating other nerds, or trying to date somebody very different? Answer all these questions and more here!

Almost anything goes- I would just ask that you clarify whether your advice is for men trying to date women, women trying to date men, men trying to date men, women trying to date women, etc.

Regards,

Northstar

[Kinglet]

The coolness factor is one of the many cancers of society.

[megatiger78]

The coolness factor is one of the many cancers of society.

agreed 10 chars and rep for free

[Nuke]

my advise is probibly against the forum rules. well i do have one that isnt: dont. avoid relationships at all costs.

[PakledHostage]

The coolness factor is one of the many cancers of society.

I agree. Just be yourself and keep looking. Eventually you'll find someone who accepts you for who you are.

[hugix]

Try to find something that isn't geeky but still in your interests.

I am a huge geek and shall always be. But I got a lot of interests that are considered "cool" or "normal" that still are quite geeky.

I am a volunteer at a couple of music venues as a audio technician. It is quite cool to work with the people from the band and to be a part in the sexdrugs&rock&roll adventure. But in the meantime working behind the soundmixer is very nerdy. It really feels like you're programming a band. Each row of buttons on a mixing desk is just another instance of the same class.

A lot of metalheads are actually very nerdy. Do not start talking about Doctor who at a metal concert, you'll be talking about sci fi for the rest of the evening and miss the headliner...

It is via music that I've come to meet my girlfriend. She is everything but nerdy (and has to put up with a lot of my crap. She hates when I play Orbiter... "That game isn't fun, you're not even looking out of the window!"). But music is a common ground.

And there are wayyy more interests that combine coolness and geekyness. If you like STEM it might be an idea to start playing around with dirt bikes. It is very fun and technically challenging to work with the engines and sub systems.

[steve_v]

A lot of metalheads are actually very nerdy.

Yup

I have some theories on why this is so, but suffice to say the most intelligent people I know all appreciate metal.

Any dating advice I could give, on the other hand, would be unpleasant uncharitable and bitter.

Edited January 17, 2015 by steve_v

[WinkAllKerb'']

Yup

I have some theories on why this is so, but suffice to say the most intelligent people I know all appreciate metal.

Any dating advice I could give, on the other hand, would be unpleasant uncharitable and bitter.

hehe i m still searching for a kind of music i dislike ... none ... anyway you must admit techno is a pretty good stimuli to beat some records

[goldenpeach]

telling you learn Pi's digit for fun

I do that, currently at 800 and my goal is a thousand; also, I have a Pi tattoo

I made a friend because I like Pi: we both like Pi!

[WinkAllKerb'']

hehe currently busy with this pi next may be:

[pxi]

I am a volunteer at a couple of music venues as a audio technician. It is quite cool to work with the people from the band and to be a part in the sexdrugs&rock&roll adventure. But in the meantime working behind the soundmixer is very nerdy. It really feels like you're programming a band. Each row of buttons on a mixing desk is just another instance of the same class.

I used to play in an industrial metal band. FWIW a good guy on the mixing board at a venue is a godsend, on the other hand, you probably wouldn't want to hear what we had to say about the guys we usually had to deal with.

On topic, you'd be surprised how easy it is to find someone when you're not actively trying to find someone. There's something about a sense of desperation that seems to turn people off.

[Red Iron Crown]

Be passionate about something, and learn to do it really well. Groom yourself well. Be confident, but not arrogant. Laugh easily, especially at yourself. Pay attention to what the other person is saying, don't just wait for your turn to speak. Be honest, especially about who you are.

Disclaimer: I haven't dated in over 15 years, the above may have been replaced with SHOW YOUR SWAG!!1

[StrandedonEarth]

Groom yourself well

'Cuz every girl's crazy 'bout a Sharp Dressed Man! (insert guitar solo)

Around here the radio advertises a business called "Events and Adventures," which organizes events for singles, like evening cruises, hikes, etc. Even a trip to Hawaii! The idea being to just go out and have fun and if you meet someone you like, great! One can always see if there is a business like that in their area. The nerd group might be able to suggest they host a massive LAN/WiFi party.

*Disclaimer* I was happily married before I ever heard them advertise (Thank you, Yahoo Chat, which has since been overrun by bots), so I myself never attended one of their events, nor do I know anyone who has.

[Whirligig Girl]

I wish I could learn to play an instrument.

I can sing.

But I can't with the instruments.

Advice: If you EVER meet another person with compatible gender to yours who plays Kerbal Space Program, this is essentially the same as an ideal scenario.

Disclaimer: Never dated anyone.

Edited January 17, 2015 by GregroxMun

[pxi]

I wish I could learn to play an instrument.

I can sing.

But I can't with the instruments.

That didn't stop Throbbing Gristle or any number of other bands. You can into music if you think you can.

[turkwinif]

I got some advice from reddit, stating to take it slow, get to know each other, go places and do fun things, and then actually ask the person out and step it up a notch after that, such as dinners, meeting each others' families, etc. Basically, relax and have fun, and if it doesn't work out, it isn't the end of the world.

I'm going to ask a girl I've known since we were kids if she wants to go see a musical movie (she loves musicals (and movies)) in a few days. Will report back in a week or two with results. Wish me luck!

Disclaimer: Never dated before, trusting reddit and instincts.

Edited January 17, 2015 by turkwinif
(and movies)

[Bioman222]

-snip-

trusting reddit and instincts.

Isn't that all you need for anything anyways?

[Camacha]

Learn to love yourself and work to make yourself and your life more interesting. You will not only enjoy yourself, but people will also approach you more easily. Do not try to be someone you are not, but develop yourself as a person.

You will spend all of your time in this life with yourself, so be sure to make yourself interesting

Edited January 17, 2015 by Camacha

[Frozen_Heart]

If you're going for girls, (which I assume most people here are), Just act relaxed and confident, don't try to hard but make sure you aren't too subtle about showing interest. Its all about finding a balance. Seem knowledgeable on a subject but don't go on about it! That can bore us.

(And for gods sake don't act creepy!)

[PakledHostage]

Groom yourself well. Be confident, but not arrogant. Laugh easily, especially at yourself. Pay attention to what the other person is saying, don't just wait for your turn to speak. Be honest, especially about who you are.

I think this is a good summary. I probably fit right in with a lot of people here. I went for a long time without being able to find anyone. I am pretty committed to my sports and "techy" interests, and I found it hard to connect with women in that circle who weren't in a relationship or otherwise interested in one. In the end, I resorted to online dating. Supposedly a lot of couples meet that way these days. I have heard numbers as high as 30%. I would suggest trying it out, but use a site that you have to pay for; it weeds out the trolls and people who aren't really serious. Then just go on dates. You may find that you don't have much in common when you finally meet in person, but as someone once said to me "almost everyone is worth having a cup of coffee with". Just be polite and respectful. Eventually you'll meet someone.

[Red Iron Crown]

If you're going for girls, (which I assume most people here are), Just act relaxed and confident, don't try to hard but make sure you aren't too subtle about showing interest. Its all about finding a balance. Seem knowledgeable on a subject but don't go on about it! That can bore us.

(And for gods sake don't act creepy!)

That sounds like good advice for girls looking for boys, too.

[Frozen_Heart]

That sounds like good advice for girls looking for boys, too.

Going for guys you've got to be more careful. More will show interest so you've got to be more picky about who you go for.

I've dated both so I have the benefit of comparing them.

[Camacha]

Just act relaxed and confident

People are going to tell that you are acting, you have to be. And to be takes work.

[andrew123]

Even though I haven't gone on a date (and for criminy sakes, I'm probably the only one who hasn't asked someone out in my group of friends yet), don't freak out if you start acting awkward/screw up while asking someone out. If your interest sees you're genuinely interested in them (instead of asking him/her out for a bet), they'll be more amused than pissed.

All of my friends prod me to go to homecoming (And I could), but personally, I think I'll wait until I feel like it. If you're a nerd, wait until you find a person that you like, and possessing good looks, AKA not a stereotypical geek appearance, helps. Go to the gym and do cardio, optimally 4-5 times a week. I do around 5 times a week of 8 KM runs at 7 miles per hour. I actually run faster outside. XD

Exercise has the double benefit of helping to dissipate stress. Of course, don't overexercise (like I once did), or else you'll get some painful joint/back aches. Not to mention, being so low on energy is probably what made me sick for the first time in 4 years, with the flu, nonetheless.

So, go up to your interest and be a genuine person. Like Frozen said, to be creepy is the worst possible thing to do.

I sincerely hope no one I know reads this.

[UmbralRaptor]

Well, this was about as useful as expected.

Being interesting (or at least having interesting hobbies) is expensive. Back to working on having a career, I guess.