On the Orgin of Stuff!

[Kernel Kraken]

We all know the stories of how the Weight Brothers created the first powered plane, or how Columbus "Discovered" America. But what about things like Lobsters as food or Coffee? 

This thread is simple: give us a BS story about how you think something came to be. From trees to rocks to fortnite, anything goes! 

Rules: Keep it PG- rated, please. Try to stay on- topic. 

As the great @Just Jim said: 

For instance, I've always thought the same thing about Lobster. Yes, they're delicious... but hideous to look at! So how did it happen? Someone see this gigantic mutant sea-bug come crawling out of the water and think:

"Hmmm, I'm gonna eat it..."

Not likely!!!

My guess is they took one look, screamed, stabbed it with a spear, maybe two or three times, then immediately threw it in a fire...

... and about 10 minutes later it started smelling... well, like broiled lobster! 

And the rest is history... hehehe.

 

Now go forth and make crap up

 

[TheKSPBeginner]

Coffee was made when trying to make chocolate, but they used the wrong hardware and beans.

[Xorth Tanovar]

The first person to drink cow's milk must have done it on a bet...

[Kernel Kraken]

I bet pancakes we're on a bet too.

Hey Jim- I'll give you 20 bucks if you put Little Billy's birthday cake on the train tracks!

Done.

[YNM]

7 hours ago, TheMadKraken2297 said:

Someone see this gigantic mutant sea-bug come crawling out of the water and think:

"Hmmm, I'm gonna eat it..."

Not likely!!!

 

How come there are "flightless birds" ? Must have been a really lazy one...

[cubinator]

If we had spiders the size of lobsters, I bet people would eat those just as readily.

[Kernel Kraken]

1 hour ago, cubinator said:

If we had spiders the size of lobsters, I bet people would eat those just as readily.

Thats what crabs are... Lobster- sized spiders. I went to Alaska once and saw a 25 pound Alaskan King SeaSpider. Those things are intimidating. You need to get the kraken to leave you alone? Get one of those things to protect you.

[NSEP]

Minecraft was invented in the year 1120, by Abraham Lincon, because the king of California wasn't really doing much to survive.

 

[Atlas2342]

3 minutes ago, NSEP said:

Minecraft was invented in the year 1120, by Abraham Lincon, because the king of California wasn't really doing much to survive.

 

Fortnite was made by alien overlords to enslave the population and make us their servants. 

[Kernel Kraken]

I thought fortnite was a torture chamber designed to numb pain while releasing dopamine to disguise the torture/ enslavement.

[Gyrfalcon5]

2 minutes ago, TheMadKraken2297 said:

I thought fortnite was a torture chamber designed to numb pain while releasing dopamine to disguise the torture/ enslavement.

This must've been the most truthful and most hilarious statement I've seen in a long, long time. Props to you!

Edited April 12, 2018 by Gyrfalcon5