InterCity

Granted. However, you can't land, and when you tilt you go flying very fast in that direction. I wish I could invent cure for stupid.

Deal. That makes for hefty 5 million dollars a month. Press the button to become a leader of a superpower, but with all the responsibilities.

If it was for sale, I'd buy. Awesome work, guys!

A colleague told me this one: A man was brought to the hospital with severe pain in the stomach, after he's vomited probably every single meal he's had in his life. My colleague rightly suspected poisoning, and asked the man what was the last thing he ate. The answer? A full box of [generic sore throat medicine]. Turns out he liked the taste, so he just took every single pill he could find and ate them. Now these pills are supposed to be kept in your mouth, but for some reason he just swallowed them, resulting in a gut bomb even worse than the university mess hall food. But wait, there's more! When my colleague was done with him, she told him not to eat anything too hard to digest that evening, until his stomach settles and stuff. And he asked her: "Is [generic sore throat medicine] also hard to digest?" Seems like hospitals attract stupid, because cases like this, when people hurt themselves by being plain stupid are way more common than I'd like. This one is extreme, though. Anyway, the man's lucky it wasn't a blood pressure medicine or some of those psycho-pharmacy. That would probably result in a Darwin award.

Wrong. Sampa?

No deal. I'll forget it anyway - sooner or later. Press the button to be rich and live on a castle - in 12th century in Europe.

I don't. In fact, I hate quiet places. I've seen quite a lot of bad things happen in my job and whenever I stop in quiet, it all falls down on me. Funnily enough, stress keeps me happy. The user below me has a job.

Colors are happy. This song is happy.

And PDUs too.

Banned for missing N in your username. (guess where)

Peachas?

Granted. Say goodbye to fast internet, KSP and these forums. Oh, and did I mention that a new laptop is going to cost you a fortune? I wish for a mainframe.

Have problems with kids? Kindergarden is the solution!

On a falling rock? You got there by flyhack! Cheater!

Banned for being biased against extraterrestrial life! Your masters have rights too!

Banned for insufficient fact-checking.

Granted. The Monster Sushi Company sues you because you just discovered their MonsterRice formula. I wish I knew how to fix my old PDA.

Banned for wrong spelling.

404 Felsmak not found. Xannari?

No idea who you are, WinkAllHumans...

Banned for too many capitals following each other in your previous post.

Stay here, little puppy...

Finding a completely unrelated reason to accuse me of cheating? Cheater!

Pony.