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What Are Things You've Heard That Made You Facepalm?


michaelsteele3

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ROSETTA AND PHILAE ARE A HOAX, WE NEVER LANDED ON IT

After all, neither NASA nor the ESA has put a man on the relatively stationary Moon since 1972 (allegedly) and its only 249,000 miles away from Earth. Conversely, the 67P comet is some 310,000,000 miles away from Earth and moving at 23.6 miles per second. Therefore, the likelihood that a 10-year old spacecraft landed on the comet first try around is highly improbable to say the least.

Maths? Pfft.

Evidence:

1. No Video Footage (GREAT START! SCREW TELEMETRY AND PICTURES!)

2. No Real-Time Communication (Who needs light speed, anyways?)

3. No Aerodynamic Shape (Vacuum? PFFT!)

4. No Stars (Duh, asteroids don't reflect light)

5. No Fiery Glow (Asteroids = Mini-stars)

6. No Vapor Trail (Halley's comet has a vapor trail, 67P doesn't. FAKE LANDING!!1!1!!1)

7. No Space Sheer (Philae was only able to get 2 of its legs in contact with the comet, but stood upright in space. A chair can't stand on three legs. Ignore that 67p Gravity ≠ Earth Gravity. )

8. Suspicious Names (Rosetta? ROSETTA STONE!)]

9. Technological Contradictions (

If reports are to be believed, Rosetta and Philae are now “Tweeting†from deep space. We can barely get reliable cellular and Wi-Fi service on Earth yet these spacecraft are Tweeting in real time from 310,000,000 miles away? Even stranger, it was reported on November 15, 2014, that Philae is “asleep†after its batteries ran out. One would think that the ESA would have installed batteries that last longer than 72-hours but clearly that’s not the case. Chances are it’s a convenient way of ending the conversation about the highly improbable comet landing before it even gets started. Needless to say, the technological contradictions surrounding the mission are red flags which suggest that the event never transpired in reality.

)

And finally,

10. 2014 Asteroid Attack (The landing was made by CIA to condition the masses for the man-made asteroid attack of 2014.)

jesus christ someone get me out of here

Everyone of these nutters that I have seen has a donate button... It makes me wonder if they are all just doing it for the money? (Kinda like a certain cable news network?)

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Everyone of these nutters that I have seen has a donate button... It makes me wonder if they are all just doing it for the money? (Kinda like a certain cable news network?)

Yah, THAT news company. fox news

I have nothing to say.

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There is a dark side of the Moon, it just changes during the lunar cycle.

The "dark side" is actually a misnomer for the side of the moon that always faces away from us. It's dark from our perspective as it's very hard to explore and get a signal from, but it has a day and night cycle too, so it's not permanent darkness.

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"It's true, a car protects you from lightning. Because of the rubber tires." Basically what one of my teachers said one day. Funny thing is, I watched a CGP Grey video the previous night saying how cars are faraday cages, and that's how they protect you.

I had a facepalm in my head when the teacher said that, and very nearly had one IRL.

I find it especially troubling how your teacher just ignores that lightning travels huge distances through the air and is able to split big trees in half, yet suggests it could be stopped by puny car tires.

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Everyone of these nutters that I have seen has a donate button... It makes me wonder if they are all just doing it for the money? (Kinda like a certain cable news network?)

Should quitting my job and having more time for gaming really be that easy ... ?

I find it especially troubling how your teacher just ignores that lightning travels huge distances through the air and is able to split big trees in half, yet suggests it could be stopped by puny car tires.

I am so lucky that I never had to deal with stubborn teachers like that. It seems they are really more like priests, preaching third-hand truth from their old text books.

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The "dark side" is actually a misnomer for the side of the moon that always faces away from us. It's dark from our perspective as it's very hard to explore and get a signal from, but it has a day and night cycle too, so it's not permanent darkness.

Yes, I know. That particular side is only dark when the moon is full, and other sides are dark at different times.

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*random youtube commenter looks at US $1 bill in a video looking at what all of the things on the dollar bill mean*

Comments: "What does the 1 in the four corners mean?"

Here's proof...

BxOLk6w.png?1

I don't even...

At least his youtube channel probably ​isn't filled with 30 copies of the X-Files soundtrack...

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Joking about "adding more struts" and the actual comments made (possibly in reference to KSP) by the spaceX team on another site got me downvoted for the "weight problems" involved. Yey internet for not getting the joke, except the poster who said they "should roll back a version so it's a massless dragless strut". Even more subtle a joke! :D

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Okay, so the other day I was doing stuff with my friend, and then this happened:

Hey Chris, wanna see a cool trick I got off a youtube video?

Me: Is this going to be like the train thing?

No, no, I promise.

Okay, so first question, what do you see here?

A

Me: Well, it looks like the letter A.

I'm sorry but that's wrong. The correct answer was the color red.

Me: Oh, okay. I get it now.

Next question. What do you see here?

A

Me: Well, it must be the color blue.

Wrong again. The correct answer was the letter A.

Me: Wait, but you said-

Next question. What do you see here?

A

Me: Okay, it's the letter A colored grey.

Wrong again.

Me: What the ****!?

The correct answer was the letter A colored light black.

Me: ... that's enough ...

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Okay, so the other day I was doing stuff with my friend, and then this happened:

Hey Chris, wanna see a cool trick I got off a youtube video?

Me: Is this going to be like the train thing?

No, no, I promise.

Okay, so first question, what do you see here?

A

Me: Well, it looks like the letter A.

I'm sorry but that's wrong. The correct answer was the color red.

Me: Oh, okay. I get it now.

Next question. What do you see here?

A

Me: Well, it must be the color blue.

Wrong again. The correct answer was the letter A.

Me: Wait, but you said-

Next question. What do you see here?

A

Me: Okay, it's the letter A colored grey.

Wrong again.

Me: What the ****!?

The correct answer was the letter A colored light black.

Me: ... that's enough ...

Ah, yes, I recall that from a video I saw myself! It was a parody of "Brain Games."

At one point, he referred to "A" as a 90 degree tilted, unfinished Pac-Man drawing eating a Tic-Tac. I was choking out of laughter.

Okay, kinda off-topic..

Edited by Columbia
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Again from my 7th grade science teacher:

"You can see atoms with electron microscopes."

Facepalm.

It's electron scan microscope. You can't really see the atoms with them, but you can scan them and know they are there.

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Yey internet for not getting the joke...

You really expect people to get an inside joke based off of a small corner of the internet?

Granted, in a discussion about SpaceX, I'd expect a slightly higher percentage than usual, but still...

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