The Outer Planets Traveling Circus Episode 28: Superheroes (The End)

[Mister Dilsby]

6 minutes ago, Just Jim said:

I'm beginning to wonder if these stories themselves taking on lives of their own isn't one as well... 

I believe we've already done that one.  

[Just Jim]

6 minutes ago, Kuzzter said:

I believe we've already done that one.  

Oh yeah...... how could I forget???

hehehehe

[Geschosskopf]

20 minutes ago, Just Jim said:

Isn't it funny how you set out to write one thing, and it sort of evolves on it's own into something completely different? 
Sci-Fi trope indeed.... I'm beginning to wonder if these stories themselves taking on lives of their own isn't one as well... 

That's what happens when you introduce fallable characters.  The best planning and engineering in the world comes unglued when somebody does something stupid.  So I'm quite conflicted here.  In my real life, both as an engineer and the training officer of a fire department, I abhor stupidity because it wrecks equipment and gets people killed.  My real life is thus a constant battle against stupidity, not only trying to beat it out of my own troops but also dealing with the often tragic aftermath of civilian stupidity.  It's thus practically anathema to me to allow my characters to be stupid.  I only hire shanghai Kerbals with the lowest stupidity ratings.

But as an avid reader, I know that ripping yarns only come about due to stupidity somewhere along the line.  And regardless of how non-stupid I try to make my troops, I realize we'd all be out of a job if it wasn't for the abundance of stupidity found in the general population.  So I must accept the continued existence of stupidity in the world and large, and that my Kerbals realistically should do stupid things.  But I don't like that.  I suppose it's because, deep down, I find it somehow hypocritical.  If I tolerate any stupidity at all in imaginary Kerbals, over whom I have complete, total, god-like control, how I can I in good conscience be totally intolerate of stupidity in my troops, over whom I have only limited control?  This is why I'm not a writer.

[Just Jim]

14 minutes ago, Geschosskopf said:

That's what happens when you introduce fallable characters.  The best planning and engineering in the world comes unglued when somebody does something stupid.  So I'm quite conflicted here.  In my real life, both as an engineer and the training officer of a fire department, I abhor stupidity because it wrecks equipment and gets people killed.  My real life is thus a constant battle against stupidity, not only trying to beat it out of my own troops but also dealing with the often tragic aftermath of civilian stupidity.  It's thus practically anathema to me to allow my characters to be stupid.  I only hire shanghai Kerbals with the lowest stupidity ratings.

But as an avid reader, I know that ripping yarns only come about due to stupidity somewhere along the line.  And regardless of how non-stupid I try to make my troops, I realize we'd all be out of a job if it wasn't for the abundance of stupidity found in the general population.  So I must accept the continued existence of stupidity in the world and large, and that my Kerbals realistically should do stupid things.  But I don't like that.  I suppose it's because, deep down, I find it somehow hypocritical.  If I tolerate any stupidity at all in imaginary Kerbals, over whom I have complete, total, god-like control, how I can I in good conscience be totally intolerate of stupidity in my troops, over whom I have only limited control?  This is why I'm not a writer.

I hear ya perfectly!  I've found it kind of weird writing about someone, or something, that would be so out of character, no pun intended, with what I would do myself.  It is a little tricky trying to write characters so they don't all act and sound like I would in real life, and I've found myself falling into that trap already more than once.

Edited March 14, 2016 by Just Jim

[Mister Dilsby]

1 hour ago, Geschosskopf said:

If I tolerate any stupidity at all in imaginary Kerbals, over whom I have complete, total, god-like control, how I can I in good conscience be totally intolerate of stupidity in my troops, over whom I have only limited control?  This is why I'm not a writer.

This dilemma reminds me of one faced by legendary comic artist/writer Steve Ditko, who along with Stan Lee created Spider-Man and (Kuzzter's personal fave!) Doctor Strange. Ditko was (and is, last I heard) an objectivist, who believes that the sole moral purpose of life is rational self-interest. But Ditko's Marvel characters are not what we would call objectivist heroes in the mold of Howard Roark. In fact, Spider-Man is exactly the opposite: a hero who believes above all else that "with great power comes great responsibility". Which is why Peter Parker's life is so completely miserable most of the time--no good deed he ever does goes unpunished! 

Contrast this with Ditko's somewhat lesser-known (OK, pretty much completely ignored) comics work after leaving Marvel. Mr. A believes in only good or evil, nothing in between. If you're good, you'd better be 100% good--because otherwise, Mr. A will drop you off a building. If you haven't heard of this guy you may have seen him re-imagined in The Watchmen as Rorschach.

So you could go either route--the first one, where characters don't follow your personal philosophy (and get punished for it), or the second, where they do. I think you've already decided that the second route doesn't make for as interesting a story. It certainly did not in the case of Steve Ditko.  

[Geschosskopf]

1 hour ago, Just Jim said:

It is a little tricky trying to write characters so they don't all act and sound like I would in real life, ....

I don't have that problem so much because I wouldn't get into their situations to begin with   So first I have to make some different being who WOULD get into that situation, and therefore isn't much like me.  And I have great difficulty imagining a mind so alien  Which is why I relied on the d10s of Doom to create them for this yarn

22 minutes ago, Kuzzter said:

Contrast this with Ditko's somewhat lesser-known (OK, pretty much completely ignored) comics work after leaving Marvel. Mr. A believes in only good or evil, nothing in between. If you're good, you'd better be 100% good--because otherwise, Mr. A will drop you off a building. If you haven't heard of this guy you may have seen him re-imagined in The Watchmen as Rorschach.

Alas, poor Rorschach!  I identified with him too well.  Not an admirable guy overall, although with a few admirable qualities, especially that of being true to himself to the bitter end.

And that's more "Hamlet" overtones than I need in my day

 

[KAL 9000]

Any moar?

[Geschosskopf]

16 hours ago, KAL 9000 said:

Any moar?

Probably.  It's supposed to rain all weekend so there's not much else to do

[KAL 9000]

1 hour ago, Geschosskopf said:

Probably.  It's supposed to rain all weekend so there's not much else to do

GRATUITOUS EXPLOSIONS!!! YAY!!!

[Geschosskopf]

On 3/18/2016 at 8:36 AM, KAL 9000 said:

GRATUITOUS EXPLOSIONS!!! YAY!!!

Well, sadly, nothing explodes but a few minds in this episode.  I must be losing my touch.  Anyway...

EPISODE 24: Living Dead Girl

Spoiler

 

While all this had been going on, the transfer window from Hale back to Orvok finally came around.  The crew of HOPELESS had mixed opinions about its viability.

Given that HOPELESS' orbital velocity was only about 6m/s, turning around was no biggie.  The question was whether they had to go through Hale itself as a result.

The intercom conversation continued along these lines as they left Hale's tiny SOI...

Sanny found their lack of faith enthusiasm disturbing.  And also a real bummer.  So as soon as the transfer burn was over, she bolted out the hatch as was her usual habit and custom.  Once again, she made the whole trip on EVA.

 

 

After a trip of only a few hours, HOPELESS duly arrived at Orvok.  Immediately the capture burn finished, Sanny put her plan into effect by bailing out and jetting away.  Soon it was obvious she intended to go much further away from HOPELESS than Jaysef had become used to.

 

Sanny set her HUD to target the wreckage of the SE-1 Sarnus System Probe near the Monolith and did a de-orbit burn aimed in that direction.

Back in HOPELESS, reactions to this were again mixed.

Sanny immediately turned her suit radio back to static so she was deaf to Jaysef's pleadings.  Lizula, not caring one way or the other, remained silent, which was just as well given that Sanny wouldn't have heard her anyway.  Soon, Sanny was nearing Orvok's forbidding surface.  But she wasn't worried about that---the Energy was too strong.  Besides, her velocity was only about 27m/s all the way down, nothing the jetpack couldn't handle.

Although the Monolith had been in daylight when Sanny started down, her slow speed made the trip take so long that it was in the dark by the time she got near it.  Sanny decided to put down a short distance away to set the direction of her feet more appropriately to Ovok's surface.  As expected, she bounced several times but managed to get settled down eventually, firmly on the ground.

Sanny then discovered she was on the far side of a tall, very steep hill from the probe's wreckage.  Rather than burn more jetpack fuel, she found she could climb it no problem, in contrast to the impossibility of trying to walk anywhere on Orok.  From the top of the hill, she surveyed the darkened topography, remembering the direction the probe had been going when it crashed in relation to Monolith Hill.  Having made her decision, she flew to a hill a short distance away and sure, enough, the Monolith was there.

Given that she intended to spend the rest of Eternity at Orvok, there might be an occasion when she'd have to find the Monolith in the dark again.  So before settling into contemplation and serious Energy-soaking, Sanny planted a flag at the top of Monolith Hill.

Sanny's departure had left Jaysef rather twitterpated (Lizula couldn't care less).  Also, Jaysef thought it his duty to inform his colleagues at the other moons of the situation.  After all, Sanny was their nominal leader.  Communications within the Sarnus system, due to a plethora of alternate routes over relatively short distances, were flawless, unlike the sun-blighted link back home.  So the Eeloo, Tekto, and HOPELESS crews had a conference call.

Of the 3 original crew chiefs, only Gergas remained functional and he ably and willingly took charge.  Of Gergas' own crew, Midi was still riding the Chill dragon and Elite was still outside doing a long soliloquy, so there was nobody but Orbles to raise the technicality that, according to the Regulations for the Governance and Discipline of His Imperial Majesty's Trading Companies, command could not pass to somebody who was already dead.  There was, of course, no precedent on this subject but that was clearly the legislative intent.  However, should Gergas be disqualified, that left the next-senior members of each crew:  Lizula, Elite, and Munmy.  The first two of those were unwilling and/or unable to take the job and the last thing Orbles wanted was Munmy being his supreme leader.  So Orbles held his tongue and let Gergas play at still being alive.  None of the others in on the conference call knew anything about this.

This seemed agreeable to all.  The window to return to Kerbin was still nearly 100 days away, every ship and base had supplies to last way longer than that, and CRACKHEAD would be fully refueled within the week.  Then Orbles and Munmy would do what they could to ensure the proper operation of the criyopods and they'd still have at least a couple months for further exploration.  So for the time being, they all agreed to hold position and await developments.

Tune in next time for whatever developments await.

-----------

Also, thanks to all the readers.  This thread is up to over 9000 views.  OT1H, I'm flattered that this drivel has attracted so much attention.  OTOH, I feel quite guilty for wasting part of all your lives with said drivel.  But OTGH (ask @FyunchClick where that comes from), my evil plan all along has been to suck out your psyches through this drivel, so I'm feeling rather repleat just about now ..

 

 

Edited March 26, 2016 by Geschosskopf
add spoiler

[UnusualAttitude]

45 minutes ago, Geschosskopf said:

Also, thanks to all the readers.  This thread is up to over 9000 views.  OT1H, I'm flattered that this drivel has attracted so much attention.  OTOH, I feel quite guilty for wasting part of all your lives with said drivel.  But OTGH (ask @FyunchClick where that comes from), my evil plan all along has been to suck out your psyches through this drivel, so I'm feeling rather repleat just about now ..

One is forced to admit that we must all be partial to a bit of quality psyche-sucking drivel, then...

I'll be amazed if any of this crew makes it home. Nice view to admire for the rest of eternity though, if they don't.

[Geschosskopf]

32 minutes ago, UnusualAttitude said:

One is forced to admit that we must all be partial to a bit of quality psyche-sucking drivel, then...

I believe Hulu had a whole advertising campaign based on that premise

32 minutes ago, UnusualAttitude said:

I'll be amazed if any of this crew makes it home. Nice view to admire for the rest of eternity though, if they don't.

Don't underestimate the indoctrination processes of the Travelling Circus!

[Mister Dilsby]

2 hours ago, Geschosskopf said:

there was nobody but Orbles to raise the technicality that, according to the Regulations for the Governance and Discipline of His Imperial Majesty's Trading Companies, command could not pass to somebody who was already dead.  

I do love a document that thinks of everything in advance, especially the heretofore unobserved. For example the little-known "Section Z" of Article XVII of the United Nations Charter, specifying that in the event of a zombie apocalypse all the world's industries shall be converted to produce nothing but chainsaws and canned beans.

[Geschosskopf]

21 minutes ago, Kuzzter said:

I do love a document that thinks of everything in advance, especially the heretofore unobserved. For example the little-known "Section Z" of Article XVII of the United Nations Charter, specifying that in the event of a zombie apocalypse all the world's industries shall be converted to produce nothing but chainsaws and canned beans.

Well, neither that document  nor mine thought of this situation.  All extant documents dealing with how command devolves in the event of a "decapitation" attack are written in terms of "If A is dead, then, B; if B is dead, then C,", and so on.  The tacit assumption is that the dead guy is hors de combat, neither present nor voting in the ensuing events.  None of them address the situation where the dead guy is still acting like nothing's wrong long after the buzzards have started circling.  I mean, I once assaulted a position where the guy running next to me lost the top half of his head and kept on advancing and shooting effectively for about 3 steps before succumbing to the inevitable.  That's about all you can expect from the dead even in Lousy Anna's armpit, for normal circumstances..  In abnormal circumstances, "The Book" has yet to be written and all testimony is highly suspect.

And should "Section Z" ever be necessary, let's hope there's another article that turns all energy industries into production of gasoline and 2-stoke oil

 

Edited March 21, 2016 by Geschosskopf

[Mister Dilsby]

Well you've got a great point. [checks 25th Amendment] Yup, it's right there in ink and parchment. 

Quote

Section 1. In case of the removal of the President from office or of his death or resignation, the Vice President shall become President.

So, a hypothetical zombie/vampire/lich sorcerer President could be perfectly capable of executing the office--perhaps quite well depending on the extent of his supernatural powers--but the Vice President becomes President just because the President happens to be "dead". Is that justice, I ask you? Is that fair? And I suppose the answer to both questions is, "Yes", and "Get me a chainsaw and enough petroleum products to keep it running."

[Geschosskopf]

3 minutes ago, Kuzzter said:

So, a hypothetical zombie/vampire/lich sorcerer President could be perfectly capable of executing the office--perhaps quite well depending on the extent of his supernatural powers--but the Vice President becomes President just because the President happens to be "dead". Is that justice, I ask you? Is that fair? And I suppose the answer to both questions is, "Yes", and "Get me a chainsaw and enough petroleum products to keep it running."

But if the emperor has no clothes, who's to tell him so?  Especially if he has supernatural powers

 

[UnusualAttitude]

12 hours ago, Kuzzter said:

I do love a document that thinks of everything in advance, especially the heretofore unobserved. For example the little-known "Section Z" of Article XVII of the United Nations Charter, specifying that in the event of a zombie apocalypse all the world's industries shall be converted to produce nothing but chainsaws and canned beans.

 

12 hours ago, Geschosskopf said:

 

And should "Section Z" ever be necessary, let's hope there's another article that turns all energy industries into production of gasoline and 2-stoke oil

This got me thinking about the terrifying consequences of a zombie apocalypse in space, where  conventional internal combustion powered chainsaws would be of no use.

Solar-powered chainsaws would require prohibitively large areas of cells in order to produce the required power, and wouldn't be feasible in the outer solar system. An RTG-powered chainsaw would be awesome, but probably too heavy also.

For sustainable chainsaw operations in deep space, we're gonna need some serious improvement in battery technology... and don't get me started on the personal safety risks of operating a chainsaw in a low-gravity environment...

[Geschosskopf]

1 hour ago, UnusualAttitude said:

This got me thinking about the terrifying consequences of a zombie apocalypse in space, where  conventional internal combustion powered chainsaws would be of no use.

Solar-powered chainsaws would require prohibitively large areas of cells in order to produce the required power, and wouldn't be feasible in the outer solar system. An RTG-powered chainsaw would be awesome, but probably too heavy also.

For sustainable chainsaw operations in deep space, we're gonna need some serious improvement in battery technology... and don't get me started on the personal safety risks of operating a chainsaw in a low-gravity environment...

As we say in the fire service, chainsaws are just a convenience.  Axes do the same job and don't need fuel   There are, of course, electric chainsaws already on the market, but you still have to recharge the batteries eventually, so they only last as long as the power grid.  So, axes win.  However, for chopping zombies, I'd prefer something designed for the job and use a sword.  Of course, using any chopping or thrusting weapon in low gravity would probably cause more problems than it solved so the best option would be to just join the winning side

Which brings up something I find fascinating.  There are many parallels between being a zombie and the desired end-game of a major religion.  So why do the zombies always have to be the bad guys?  I'm just throwing that out as food for thought, not to start a discussion on this subject.

But fortunately, the zombies in this story aren't aggressive so there's no need for chainsaws or anything else.

[Cydonian Monk]

Surely throwing an axe at a space zombie would be more ideal, as it would also propel the hurler away from the danger with less risk of getting stuck in and then changing the center of gravity of both. You're gonna need rather a lot of axes though. And there's the risk of the axe breaching the mylar hull of course....

Does the Emperor outfit his Circus Ships with Space Axes (or even Space Pulaskis?)? (Just in case they turn agressive?)

Edited March 21, 2016 by Cydonian Monk

[Mister Dilsby]

1 hour ago, Cydonian Monk said:

 You're gonna need rather a lot of axes though. And there's the risk of the axe breaching the mylar hull of course....

There's another problem: since all planets and moons rotate about their axes, taking one to kill a zombie might have unforeseen consequences. ...OK I'll just show myself out.

[UnusualAttitude]

1 hour ago, Kuzzter said:

There's another problem: since all planets and moons rotate about their axes, taking one to kill a zombie might have unforeseen consequences. ...OK I'll just show myself out.

Besides, using an axe rather than a chainsaw might just not cut it.

[Geschosskopf]

10 hours ago, Cydonian Monk said:

Surely throwing an axe at a space zombie would be more ideal, as it would also propel the hurler away from the danger with less risk of getting stuck in and then changing the center of gravity of both. You're gonna need rather a lot of axes though. And there's the risk of the axe breaching the mylar hull of course....

I wonder how hard you could really throw an axe in zero-G?  The throwing motion would get you rotating from the get-go so you'd have to pull your punch a bit to try to get any accuracy.  Sure, real astronauts toss small, lightweight things around quite gently with no problem, but I haven't seen them hurling heavy objects hard enough to cause serious bodily harm.  But if you could throw something that hard, what if you miss?  It might not do the flimsy, light-weight hull any good.

10 hours ago, Cydonian Monk said:

Does the Emperor outfit his Circus Ships with Space Axes (or even Space Pulaskis?)? (Just in case they turn agressive?)

Well, there are some crash axes and Halligan tools to self-extricate after a bad landing but these assume a fair amount of gravity is present.  After all, you need a fair amount to wreck the ship to begin with

As mentioned above, my Kerbals have no superstitions about walking corpses because there's never been one before.  So the possible need to defend against zombies hasn't been considered.  However, should the Boffins ever thought it necessary, they'd probably come down on the side of  big hedge-clipping shears.  Pushing equally and oppositely on the handles to make a cut would eliminate the recoil problem and you could still stab and club with them should that be necessary.  This, of course, would be the no-power alternative to lasers.

8 hours ago, Kuzzter said:

There's another problem: since all planets and moons rotate about their axes, taking one to kill a zombie might have unforeseen consequences. ...OK I'll just show myself out.

{GROAN}

7 hours ago, UnusualAttitude said:

Besides, using an axe rather than a chainsaw might just not cut it.

Chainsaws weren't designed for use against moving targets so are quite clumsy things.  Now, one of those tree trimmers with the small chainsaw blade on the end of a pole might work better than a standard chainsaw, but you still have the problem of powering it.

[RocketSquid]

I say in the events of a space-zombie apocalypse, the best way to get rid of a few zombies is with Weaponized Exhaust. If there are more zombies than that, it's probably time to take advantage of the whole "Highly pressurized, combustible liquid stored near highly pressurized LOX" thing going on inside of your fuel tank.

[Geschosskopf]

Well, it was a long and busy week, then family came over. Fortunately, I had done some stuff beforehand and was able to slap something together today.

And hey, 10000 VIEWS!  Woohoo!  Thanks, everybody! 

Anyway, on with the show...

EPISODE 25: Bad Moon Rising

Spoiler

 

In the fullness of time, during which HOPELESS had been taking a well-deserved and much-desired rest, and the Tekto Crew had been studying its collected science, the Eeloo Crew got FLAKEE refueled again.  It took longer this time due to having to make more fuel for the tanker itself instead of just payload.  Once this was done, the crew shut down STEAMINGPILE and climbed aboard FLAKEE for the trip to TOEJAM.  As he disconnected the pipe between FLAKEE and STEAMINGPILE, Orbles felt like he was heading for a showdown.

Orbles had to be careful not to trigger the Ladder Trick on the way up.  He had to clear his mind of all thoughts of otherworldly things.  Fortunately, when a Kerbal is thinking of food, nothing else dare interfere with his thought process.

Getting Truiki aboard went easier than expected.  She was quite excited about the adventure.

Soon FLAKEE's 5 aerospikes were blasting it up to a rendezvous with TOEJAM.

Once docked, Orbles completed refueling CRACKHEAD for the trip home and also filled up TOEJAM's own tank for future use.  Then he and Munmy began checking the cryogenic unit over, beginning with the outside.  Both were hearing their respective "voices" the whole time and, while they tried to act as if nothing unusual was going on, they both knew the other knew that the hands of the clock were converging on high noon.  So they maintained the tense politeness of "killing gentlemen" prior to a duel.

And why?  Well, for one thing, Kigma-11 was by now sending out palpable waves of instability and the tavern patrons had begun to pass out drunk and were no longer buying drinks for the storyteller.  But more to the point, back on Tekto, Elite was reaching a fateful decision.

Meanwhile, Orbles and Munmy had gone inside CRACKHEAD and were checking out all the pods with the training of their respective rates.  Checking all the circuits required that they actually enter the pods.  Still, the tense politeness prevailed.

And then it happened.  Elite shut off her life support systems.

And the big clock looming in the figurative background began to chime noon.

And battle was joined simultaneously on two different planes of existence.

 

Orbles, being an artificiersmate and thus more familiar with the cryopods, was very slightly quicker on the draw.  But it was enough.

As soon as he realized he wasn't going to freeze, Orbles jetted back to FLAKEE to check on Truiki.

It was now time to use the Ladder Trick.

Orbles soon met up with his guides Imp, Blob, and Mask, who had herded Truiki's soul away from the Kraken.  Meanwhile, the epic battle between the Gods and the Kraken continued just out of view to the right.  The very fabric of the Spirit World was being laid waste in places.

But the Spirit Guides were in high spirits, as it were.

MASK:  Hahaha!  Oldest trope in the book!

BLOB:  Huzzah for Deus ex Machina!

IMP:  Yes, but the battle isn't over.  We cannot plan our next moves until we know the results.

MASK:  Yes, but it was still awesome.

Even though it was a fairly long trip, Orbles still didn't have time to fill Truiki in completely while en route, but no biggie, he thought.  If this whole psychotic episode had any basis in fact, he'd have the real Truiki to explain things to on the other end.  Once Truiki's soul was back in her body, Orbles returned from the Spirit World.

Upon returning to FLAKEE, Orbles discovered Truiki was handling things rather well, all things considered.

But elsewhere in the Sarnus system, Orbles knew things weren't going so well.  After all, none of this would have been possible without another Kerbal dying.

Tune in next time when we try to pick up the pieces.

 

 

Edited March 31, 2016 by Geschosskopf
add spoiler

[Mister Dilsby]

48 minutes ago, Geschosskopf said:

Tune in next time when we try to pick up the pieces.

Whaaaa? If I posted a picture of my face right now I'd have to put--I dunno, blobs or big red pi-symbols or something over my eyes to properly express the confusomancy that has taken charge of my person. I knew i shouldn't have started doing my taxes right before reading this...

ETA: *clink* and a re-read. Orbles! Yay Orbles! But oh, the cost... have been reading a new Doctor Strange comic recently, which really plays with the concept of magic having a cost someone must pay--and Very Bad Things happen when this is not done, and a big bill comes due. Will the kraken come calling? I'd leave the ladders extended just in case.

Edited March 26, 2016 by Kuzzter