A post from FaceBook (funny)

[kiwi1960]

actually, funny BUT TRUE! (reformatted to make it easier to read!)

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Facebook keeps asking " what's on your mind"? So here it is:

I still have so many unanswered questions! I never found out who let the dogs out;

the way to get to Sesame Street;

why Dora doesn't just use Google Maps;

why we don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery";

why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed;

why "abbreviated" is such a long word;

why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons;

why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections;

and, why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Why do The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try to sing those two previous songs?

And just what is Victoria's secret?

You see, the world just has to keep going. I have too many questions......and do you really think I am this witty ???? ...because I actually stole this from a friend, who stole from brother's girlfriend's Uncle's cousins, baby's momma Doctor...Now it is your turn to steal it from me.. That's the next question who going to steal it from me an pass it on lol

[Atlas2342]

Well, somebody has to ask the real questions! Like, how do they stick non-stick coating to cooking pans? 

[Robotengineer]

14 hours ago, Atlas2342 said:

Well, somebody has to ask the real questions! Like, how do they stick non-stick coating to cooking pans? 

Sintering. 

[PB666]

23 hours ago, kiwi1960 said:

actually, funny BUT TRUE! (reformatted to make it easier to read!)

---------------------------------------------

Facebook keeps asking " what's on your mind"? So here it is:

I still have so many unanswered questions! I never found out who let the dogs out;

the way to get to Sesame Street;

why Dora doesn't just use Google Maps;

why we don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery";

why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed;

why "abbreviated" is such a long word;

why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons;

why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections;

and, why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Why do The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try to sing those two previous songs?

And just what is Victoria's secret?

You see, the world just has to keep going. I have too many questions......and do you really think I am this witty ???? ...because I actually stole this from a friend, who stole from brother's girlfriend's Uncle's cousins, baby's momma Doctor...Now it is your turn to steal it from me.. That's the next question who going to steal it from me an pass it on lol

I have a answer to all of these questions. 

Its quite simple . . . . .if you need facebook to know whats on your mind, such trivial but funny questions should not bother you too much, because you have much deeper emotional problems. The question to the answer is why do people hand over so much of their lives to addictive behaviors that make them unhappy, unusually sensitive to everything that anyone says, or having a temper tamtrum at the tagging of a picture. 

[mythbusters844]

1 hour ago, Robotengineer said:

Sintering. 

Do you know what a joke is or are you incapable of understanding it?

[Robotengineer]

44 minutes ago, mythbusters844 said:

Do you know what a joke is or are you incapable of understanding it?

Do you know what deadpan humor is? 

[Tex_NL]

51 minutes ago, Robotengineer said:

Do you know what deadpan humor is? 

Yes. Whacking you over the head with a non-stick pan.

[mythbusters844]

Jokes are supposed to be funny.

And I'm not even going to bother to waste my energy to quote your post.

Edited July 2, 2016 by mythbusters844

[Robotengineer]

23 minutes ago, mythbusters844 said:

Jokes are supposed to be funny.

And I'm not even going to bother to waste my energy to quote your post.

Ok... The only reason I knew they used sintering was because I had been looking into bonding teflon (PTFA) to aluminum. 

The third joke from the bottom reminded me of a quote from a book I read. NASA was using cadavers for impact testing, and one of the people working on the project asked if the uni students doing the work ever but the cadavers and the front seat and drove in the HOV lane.

[LordFerret]

I can tell few of you have spent enough time hanging around engineers. Theirs is a vastly different world. Lesson #1: Never ask them to explain anything.

[TheSaint]

I was over at my brother's house once when my niece was a teenager and she started telling a bunch of one-liner jokes like this. One of them was, "So if I'm in a car travelling at the speed of light and I turn on the headlights, what happens?" I asked her, "Do you really want to know, or are you just being cute?" She thought about it for a second, and said, "I'm just being cute."

[razark]

18 hours ago, mythbusters844 said:

Jokes are supposed to be funny.

Humor is subjective.

[lajoswinkler]

It's sad when murdering a helpless person tied to a table finds its way into the funny trivia. Speaks volumes.

[razark]

No, it's more the absurdity of "we're going to make this person die, but for gods' sakes, don't let him get sick!" that makes the humor.

If the humor was "Ha! We're going to kill a person!", then you might have a point.

[p1t1o]

On 7/1/2016 at 9:42 PM, kiwi1960 said:

why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections;

At first I was like "Ha! Good Quation!" but then I thought its probably in case one of the staff accidentally sticks themselves with it and I realised that that was actually quite plausible.

On 7/1/2016 at 9:42 PM, kiwi1960 said:

why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed;

Mind. Blown.

[cubinator]

On 7/2/2016 at 11:14 PM, LordFerret said:

I can tell few of you have spent enough time hanging around engineers. Theirs is a vastly different world. Lesson #1: Never ask them to explain anything.

I'm not a professional engineer, but the other day my mom made a remark about how windows looked so dark outside during daytime. I started explaining reflectivity in glass and how our eyes adapt to different light levels when my dad cut me off and said something like "it's darker inside than outside".  

[p1t1o]

I'm occasionally asked science questions in my social circle, being the token scientist. This is an example of how it usually goes:

"Pete so how does this work?"

"Are you sure you want the full explanation, its pretty specific you won't be interested if you're not into it."

"Yeah I wanna know!"

"Ok. So the chemical reaction heats the...."

"OH MY GOD BOOOORING SORRY I ASKED"

[Robotengineer]

Isn't it just standard medical procedure that you sterilize the needle for any injection? If it was someone wiping down the guillotine with rubbing alcohol before a beheading, then it would be more humorous. 

Spoiler

TBH, I just had to suggest that it was standard medical procedure because I knew it would get someone's goat.

 

[razark]

There's also the chance of a last minute reprieve or stay to be considered.

[kiwi1960]

12 hours ago, razark said:

There's also the chance of a last minute reprieve or stay to be considered.

True.... but what are the chances of that?

[Atlas2342]

4 hours ago, kiwi1960 said:

True.... but what are the chances of that?

Big enough for them to consider it, it seems.