TERRIBLE JOKES!

[worir4]

Ahem,

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

 

 

 

To get to the bottom,,,,

 

(The thread says terrible jokes so don't kill me please)

Edited January 12, 2017 by worir4

[Tex_NL]

1 hour ago, worir4 said:

Ahem,

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

 

 

 

To get to the bottom,,,,

 

(The thread says terrible jokes so don't kill me please)

That was a pretty 'crappy' joke

Edited January 12, 2017 by Tex_NL

[Firemetal]

On the topic of bathroom jokes...

Why is it so hard to go to the bathroom sometimes? Because you're sitting on the toil-et!

Fire

[worir4]

2 hours ago, Tex_NL said:

That was a pretty 'crappy' joke

You deserve a life time ban from the forums for that one... 

 

[Findthepin1]

Did you know I can cut down trees just by looking at them?

It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.

[worir4]

Why did the cat slip off the roof?

 

 

 

Its μ was too small. 

( μ  is the symbol used for coefficient of friction and is pronounced as  mew)

Edited January 14, 2017 by worir4

[LN400]

What do you call someone who takes other people's money and valuables under threats of terrible word plays?

A pundit

 

What does Santa shout when he spots a chimney below?

Tally ho ho ho

 

There. Any more terrible than that and I would want to spontaneously self combust...

[ProtoJeb21]

What do you call a hippopotamus with no arms?

A hippopotamus. It doesn't even have arms.

 

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

It wasn't. Numbers are non-sentient and thus cannot feel fear.

[Xorth Tanovar]

O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, One o'clock, three miles, eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."

[TheEpicSquared]

I know a rather good one... but I fear it might offend a few people.

[goldenpeach]

Why did the chicken crossed the road?

 

 

 

Why would he need a reason? Stop questionning everything he does! He's a grown-up now, leave him alone!

[LN400]

1 hour ago, TheEpicSquared said:

I know a rather good one... but I fear it might offend a few people.

If you post a good joke in the terrible jokes thread then I would be very offended.

 

(I might know one or two but methinks this place is not the place for Jimmy Carr jokes)

[ProtoJeb21]

Why was the snail late for the party?

Because it was eaten.

 

What's red and terrible for your face?

A brick.

 

Why couldn't the snake talk?

Because he was swallowing a live frog.

[LN400]

What did the hillbilly say when he first saw a tricycle?

Wheel, wheel, wheel, whaddawee have here?

[ProtoJeb21]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The chicken does not have the cognitive  capacity to reason, therefore it was random.

 

What did the owl say to the squirrel?

Nothing. The owl cannot speak and proceeds to eat the squirrel because of predatorial instincts.

 

What do you call cheese that's not yours?

Stolen, you're under arrest.

 

If you call a million-legged creature a millipede, what do you call a creature with a billion legs?

You don't call it anything, you run like hell!

 

A monkey walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?"

The monkey does not respond and proceeds to steal the bartender's drink because it has no understanding of the human language and thus does not care for our rules. It runs away, jumping over a few tables and people as it leaves.

 

How do you kill a tardigrade?

You can't. Just give up already.

Edited January 18, 2017 by ProtoJeb21

[StupidAndy]

what did the house in the forest say when the ball got stuck on his roof?

"I'm a Caught-age!"

[insert_name]

your social life

[Ultimate Steve]

23 hours ago, insert_name said:

your social life

That just about sums it up...

[munlander1]

This fourm

[StupidAndy]

the Chicago Bears

[EliasDanger]

What has 8 arms and an I.Q. of 60?

4 Packers fan's watching a football game.

 

What does a Wisconsin tornado have in common with a cheese head getting a divorce?

Either way, someone is losing a trailer.

 

Why doesn't Aaron Rogers ever answer the phone?

He can't find the receiver.

[StrandedonEarth]

Q: What's green and red and goes a hundred miles an hour?

Spoiler

A: A Frog in a blender

Q: What do you get if you add milk?

Spoiler

A: Frognog

Q: What happens if you drink it?

Spoiler

A: You croak.

 

 

 

[ProtoJeb21]

Guess what I saw on vacation?

Everything I looked at.

 

How are football games and planes similar?

When they go wrong they cause head trauma. But on a less morbid note they are filled with football fans. Okay, is this even a joke anymore?

 

Who said they hate tacos?

No Juan.

[LN400]

למה אני לא יכול לחלוט כאשר עברית

[IncongruousGoat]

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who get that this joke is in trinary.