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NSEP

By NSEP
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Spaceception

Spaceception

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Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, adsii1970 said:

The exchanging of small gifts on her part is already showing you she is interested. Have you returned the favor? Done small gestures of that sort?

Yep! She asked about my address in November, and then I gave her mine, and she gave me hers. Like I said, we sent each other cards (Personalized ones, her's was really nice), and books on Christmas, and I've read some of her stories over, and 'listened' to her novel ideas. We also help each other out on stuff sometimes.

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adsii1970

adsii1970

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Posted
23 minutes ago, Spaceception said:

Alright.

It just feels odd, liking her, but her not knowing or anything. But okay.

Ok, I am not asking you for your age, but based on your comments, I will make a few assumptions. You're probably young, my guess is the years right before high school or early in your high school years. And with that comes all the awkwardness of the whole dating and social scene. From what you have described in your previous posts, she knows you like her and the feelings appear to be mutual...

Let me give you a few pointers from someone who has made a few  more than a few mistakes in this area of life.

  • FIRST: Don't make the mistake of thinking she isn't just as confused about this whole thing as you are. To be honest, this is something you will experience in every relationship. This is why I recommended you take things slow. It's ok for things to feel clunky, confusing, and awkward in the beginning, but it is also the most important time of the relationship. You can use it to learn about this person and to let her learn about you - in a slow and intentional manner.
  • SECOND: Don't rush through the awkward stage. I blew more than a few relationships trying to just get through this stage and what I thought awaited beyond. Instead, make your efforts intentional - find out who her favorite actor is, her favorite music artist, and even author. Ask her about her thoughts, about her views, and even about her hobbies. You don't have to agree with her or even have the same hobbies, but make an effort to show an interest in the things she enjoys doing. For her, she will see it as a type of support and will even return the favor. But as I have said before, if you rush too quickly, you'll sacrifice this stage and miss out on the fun that a relationship can bring. It also gives you a chance to see if you're truly interested in her or if it is just a passing fancy.
  • THIRD: Find common language in your friendship. This is important. And you get this by talking to her. Don't try to read things into what she says but take them at face value. Don't be afraid to ask her.
  • FOURTH: Back to her small gifts - she apparently sees small gifts as an important part of her "love language" and this is important. She gave you something she thought you would enjoy and in the words of my seven-year old daughter, she nailed it! By understanding this part of her personality, she's given you insight that she is interested in you. I'd urge you to also make a hobby of small gifts to her of things she likes or things she's mentioned in the past. They will mean more to her than a dozen roses!

As I've gotten older, I've noticed more about my approach to relationships. And the ones where I was in a hurry were the ones I messed up the worst. It was the ones where I simply enjoyed the relationship from day to day is the one that's lasted. And we've now been married 10 years!

And here's the cheesy song to go with it...

Spoiler

 

So, don't worry about how fast the relationship is going, what stage you are at, or anything else. Simply enjoy the moment...and enjoy the dance!

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Spaceception

Spaceception

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, adsii1970 said:

Snip You're probably young, my guess is the years right before high school or early in your high school years. Snip. From what you have described in your previous posts, she knows you like her and the feelings appear to be mutual...

  • FIRST: Don't make the mistake of thinking she isn't just as confused about this whole thing as you are. To be honest, this is something you will experience in every relationship. This is why I recommended you take things slow. It's ok for things to feel clunky, confusing, and awkward in the beginning, but it is also the most important time of the relationship. You can use it to learn about this person and to let her learn about you - in a slow and intentional manner.
  • SECOND: Don't rush through the awkward stage. I blew more than a few relationships trying to just get through this stage and what I thought awaited beyond. Instead, make your efforts intentional - find out who her favorite actor is, her favorite music artist, and even author. Ask her about her thoughts, about her views, and even about her hobbies. You don't have to agree with her or even have the same hobbies, but make an effort to show an interest in the things she enjoys doing. For her, she will see it as a type of support and will even return the favor. But as I have said before, if you rush too quickly, you'll sacrifice this stage and miss out on the fun that a relationship can bring. It also gives you a chance to see if you're truly interested in her or if it is just a passing fancy
  • THIRD:  Find common language in your friendship. This is important. And you get this by talking to her. Don't try to read things into what she says but take them at face value. Don't be afraid to ask her.
  • FOURTH: Back to her small gifts - she apparently sees small gifts as an important part of her "love language" and this is important. She gave you something she thought you would enjoy and in the words of my seven-year old daughter, she nailed it! By understanding this part of her personality, she's given you insight that she is interested in you. I'd urge you to also make a hobby of small gifts to her of things she likes or things she's mentioned in the past. They will mean more to her than a dozen roses!

Snip

Late high school actually.

I don't know if she knows I like her...

I'm not. I'm anticipating it somewhat. Okay, I think I see your point. 

Okay. I've kinda tried that before, but I don't always know how to ask, without making it awkward xD sometimes we do it anyway, and do #IKnowHowToChangeTheTopic or something to joke about it. But not often.

Okay..

Really? You think so? I never really considered that...

Yeah, I want to send her stuff more often, but shipping prices are ridiculous, about the same or more than the gift itself. So, we may be limited to Birthdays/Christmas and stuff like that.

Thank you for the advice, I'll keep it in mind :)

Edited by Spaceception
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Piatzin

Piatzin

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Posted (edited)

@Ultimate Steve Okay, so giving you a cookie is understandable. I've received multiple cookies from female classmates when I was in Canada and we had home economics (cooking). But those occasions were with girls I was friends/acquaintances with, and I wouldn't be the only one they gave cookies to. Did she go out of her way to hand you the cookie? (That heart-shaped jam spot is excitingly suspicious :D)

The model is a bigger deal, IMO. Do you two talk enough that you've told her what your interests are, or did she go out of her way to find out?

18 hours ago, Ultimate Steve said:

However, responding to this and maybe asking her out isn't my strong area by a long shot. I need to do something, but I just don't know how to do it... And also the semester changed so I only have one class with her, and that's lunch on Fridays...

Returning the gesture would be a nice way to start....you don't have to ask her out yet, just voice your thanks and give her something she likes in return. Later on, after seeing how things go and your more comfortable, you could try your hand at.....asking.....her on a.....a, uh, date...

Spoiler
Kuvahaun tulos haulle terrified gif
Edited by Earthlinger
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NSEP

NSEP

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Who is ready for valentines day?

Im not ready, i don't have a valentine, but i could be someone elses valentine, and thats scary to think about. I never really celebrated valentines day neither. I will probably spend valentines day pondering about love, and if i will ever find true love, or if i even deserve it in the first place.

Also, valentines day is the day i expect the Falcon Heavy maiden flight to occur. If that happends, i wont be negative.

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NSEP

NSEP

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6 hours ago, Delay said:

I don't think there is anyone in my age who is interested in mathematics or physics, at least as much as me.

That would be my only requirement. I'm... not planning on it.

Someone once told me that a partner with the same interests can be quite boring, and looking for someone who does their own thing is better. I don't know if this counts for every person though.

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Ultimate Steve

Ultimate Steve

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Posted
6 hours ago, Earthlinger said:

@Ultimate Steve Okay, so giving you a cookie is understandable. I've received multiple cookies from female classmates when I was in Canada and we had home economics (cooking). But those occasions were with girls I was friends/acquaintances with, and I wouldn't be the only one they gave cookies to. Did she go out of her way to hand you the cookie? (That heart-shaped jam spot is excitingly suspicious :D)

The model is a bigger deal, IMO. Do you two talk enough that you've told her what your interests are, or did she go out of her way to find out?

Returning the gesture would be a nice way to start....you don't have to ask her out yet, just voice your thanks and give her something she likes in return. Later on, after seeing how things go and your more comfortable, you could try your hand at.....asking.....her on a.....a, uh, date...

The cookie was given passing in the hall, IIRC. In a small bag, the only one in there.

As far as the model goes, pretty much everyone knows me as the school's resident space geek, so it wouldn't have been hard for her to know.

And giving her something... Hmm... She likes books. A lot. She's said half of her house is basically chock full of them (but if I try to get her a book there's the danger that she's already read it).

 

32 minutes ago, NSEP said:

Someone once told me that a partner with the same interests can be quite boring, and looking for someone who does their own thing is better. I don't know if this counts for every person though.

I usually find this to be true. A fellow space geek would make a great friend, not necessarily a great partner (sometimes, though. Never rule anything out).

 

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qzgy

qzgy

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Posted
1 hour ago, Earthlinger said:

????

What's Valentines day?

It sounds familiar, but I can't quite place it.....

That one day everybody gives around candy and hearts and stuff. Also something about love.

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NSEP

NSEP

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On 22/12/2017 at 4:48 PM, NSEP said:

Im taking a break now. I hope this makes me a little cooler next year.

Now me: I ruined the whole 'break' thing, now it has the opposite effect, im feeling terrible about it. I still don't know how to handle rejection. Im choosing to get away from love for a long time now. Love creates strong bonds, and we all know what happends when you let go of strong bonds. I don't want any emotional fission again.

11 minutes ago, Earthlinger said:

........

  Reveal hidden contents

I literally just remembered we had Valentine's Day a couple of weeks ago

.....

Like, I didn't notice Valentine's Day passed by lol

 

I wish i could forget it, but our school captalizes of of it, so its hard to avoid.

Apparently its ok for give someone a valentines gift, even though they already have a boy/girlfriend. Maybe i could have done that to my ex-crush. I changed my mind when during lunch break, a 'receiver' rejected someones valentines gift by throwing it out of his hands. Even worse, the entire school starts cheering when these kind of tense and aggressive occurs, so everyone will know.  Considering my ex-crush is pretty aggressive at times, that could have been the case with me too. Wonder how the kid who got rejected is doing, and if he is ok about it.

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Piatzin

Piatzin

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Posted
9 hours ago, Spaceception said:

So I figured out how to see if my friend liked me back without being direct (Spoiler; it worked), and now we're talking about it, so far, so good. :D  Thanks for all your help guys!

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NSEP

NSEP

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There is this girl i am friends with but im in now way in love with her. Today i heard people talking about me and her, and this might start a false-information frenzy. Even worse, my ex-crush broke up with her boyfriend, and i don't want my ex-crush to believe in this false-information. Im not saying she should revisit me, but my ex-crush is also friends with my friend, and i don't want my friend to be bombarded with this are you in love with him kind of feces.

Edited by NSEP
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Piatzin

Piatzin

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Posted
2 minutes ago, NSEP said:

There is this girl i am friends with but im in now way in love with her. Today i heard people talking about me and her, and this might start a false-information frenzy. Even worse, my ex-crush broke up with her boyfriend, and i don't want my ex-crush to believe in this false-information. Im not saying she should revisit me, but my ex-crush is also friends with my friend, and i don't want my friend to be bombarded with this are you in love with him kind of feces.

Ah, yes, the horrors of rumors that plague teenage relationships :P

There's not much you can do except politely correct people when they think you're together. Eventually, they'll see that nothing is happening, and they'll (hopefully) move on.

If not, then, welp.

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