Kerbal Death Note

[Dirkidirk]

5 hours ago, kerbiloid said:

Kerman reached the Karman.

He/she lived, happy ending. 

11 hours ago, HansonKerman said:

Me - some accident involving a spacewalk.

Hanson kerman was reparing a hole in his personal spacecraft in bop orbit, which was part of the JOOL 5 Challenge, when another hole appeared, then another. He realised that the holes were caused by meteors, which hit his eva pack, causing a high pressured leak. The ship ended up having all of it's solar pannels destroyed, and hanson ended up 14 kilometers from the ship. The jool 5 mothership, or any of the other landers didn't have enough fuel to reach him. His body wasn't found until another expedition looking for the bop kraken found it.

Lazard kerman - being lazy

Edited March 11, 2020 by Dirkidirk
Manchild

[Stamp20]

Lazard tripped while walking to the fridge.

 

Gusbree Kerman - challenging Jeb to a race.

[Dirkidirk]

On 3/11/2020 at 7:23 AM, Stamp20 said:

Gusbree Kerman - challenging Jeb to a race.

Gusbree decided that he wanted to go Big, and so challenged jeb to a race across the kerbin ice caps. as you would expect, it didn't go so well, as Gusbree hit a small pebble in the otherwise smooth surface. not half a millisecond later Gusbree, along with his rocket car, ceased to exist.

deedee kerman - getting sued

[Mars-Bound Hokie]

Deedee Kerman's nuclear power plant was racking up safety violations by the day. On top of that, she had fired anyone - especially union workers - who demanded she do something about it. When she saw that she was getting sued for millions of dollars in fines, worker's compensation fees, and costs needed to rectify the plant's safety violations, she knew that she would lose despite her high-tier lawyers. Deedee then took a briefcase full of money and locked herself in the main reactor, dying from radiation poisoning within minutes.

 

Heinz Kerman will die while doing the Woomerang Driving Test Waltz.

Spoiler

Remember Rule #3 of the Kerbal Death Note

Quote

Kill ONLY the intended target; no additional deaths in your scenarios.

1. Bystanders/crewmates wounded or knocked out okay.

 

 

 

[HansonKerman]

Heinz Kerman died doing the Woomerang Driving Test Waltz.

 

Unimaginative Name Kerman- eating 

[RoninFrog]

On 3/22/2020 at 10:28 AM, HansonKerman said:

Unimaginative Name Kerman- eating 

...on the surface of Mun.

Fruvit Kerman -> Hiding in a Tylo cave

[HansonKerman]

Fruvit Kerman was playing hide-and-seek with Hanson and Gerald. He decided to eat his Kit-Kat bc he was getting a bit hungry. But the Kraken heard his crunches and smited him.

 

Gerald Kerman - trying to find Fruvit.

[Wildcat111]

Gerald had been playing the game for a while so he wondered if something happened to Fruvit. The Kraken had two meals that day

 

Bartbald Kerman - left behind on Duna

[RoninFrog]

Bartbald does some quick math and calculates he has just enough EVA propellant left to make it home.  He waits for 8 months for a transfer window, times his burn perfectly, eats all the snacks, aerobrakes at Kerbin at exactly the right time, and lands on the VAB with his EVA chute and 0.01 units of monopropellant left.  But then Richard "the ferrous dawg" Kerman stages his Saturn-V right over his head.

Richard Kerman - staging Saturn V

[Dirkidirk]

12 minutes ago, RoninFrog said:

Bartbald does some quick math and calculates he has just enough EVA propellant left to make it home.  He waits for 8 months for a transfer window, times his burn perfectly, eats all the snacks, aerobrakes at Kerbin at exactly the right time, and lands on the VAB with his EVA chute and 0.01 units of monopropellant left.  But then Richard "the ferrous dawg" Kerman stages his Saturn-V right over his head.

Richard Kerman - staging Saturn V

watching the spent stage impact the VAB, Richard wondered how a spent stage launched from the launchpad could impact the VAB, when he realized that he was going west! He immediately turned right, and at that moment accidently staged the second stage, which was no longer exactly under his third stage, and spun his rocket, flying at high speeds, into a big fat death roll. due to him still being in the atmosphere, the rocket sploded.

dinky kerman - farting a little too loud

[Mars-Bound Hokie]

Dinky was hiking up the Mun's northeastern craters when he let a big one rip. The pressure from all the gas, and the shock from the resulting sound wave, caused his spacesuit to explode from the inside. While all of his oxygen was leaking out, the cold vacuum of space killed him in a matter of seconds.

• His partner, Raye Kerman, had no idea that Dinky had died until his base had lost contact with his bio monitor. Raye couldn't hear the first explosion since, well, sound doesn't carry through space.

 

Raye Kerman will die from spaghettification. 

[reymitchel]

OMG, what is going on here? 

[reymitchel]

Just now, HansonKerman said:

read the description, and post in a KSP related forum

raye ate way too much spaghetti as he was looking for Dinky, and you are what you eat, soooo

 

jay Kerman- eating the Kraken’s second-to-right tentacle tip.

Why so sharp?

[HansonKerman]

18 minutes ago, reymitchel said:

OMG, what is going on here? 

read the description, and post in a KSP related forum

9 hours ago, Mars-Bound Hokie said:

Dinky was hiking up the Mun's northeastern craters when he let a big one rip. The pressure from all the gas, and the shock from the resulting sound wave, caused his spacesuit to explode from the inside. While all of his oxygen was leaking out, the cold vacuum of space killed him in a matter of seconds.

• His partner, Raye Kerman, had no idea that Dinky had died until his base had lost contact with his bio monitor. Raye couldn't hear the first explosion since, well, sound doesn't carry through space.

 

Raye Kerman will die from spaghettification. 

raye ate way too much spaghetti as he was looking for Dinky, and you are what you eat, soooo

 

jay Kerman- eating the Kraken’s second-to-right tentacle tip.

[HansonKerman]

2 minutes ago, reymitchel said:

Why so sharp?

aww, sorry if i hurt ur feelings 

here have a smiley face 

[Dirkidirk]

1 hour ago, HansonKerman said:

raye ate way too much spaghetti as he was looking for Dinky, and you are what you eat, soooo

 

jay Kerman- eating the Kraken’s second-to-right tentacle tip.

jay is a kerbal that EATS. One day, while exploring bop, she ran out of Food!  looking around for another source, jay noticed something approaching her that looked a lot like a fried octopus, so she took of her helmet, somehow not dying, and bit into the krakens second to right tentacle. afterwards, she  ASCENDED, and technically died, since her previous body and personality disappeared without a trace, well, except for her need to EAT.

yaj kerman - staying at bop for a little too long.

 

Spoiler

1 hour ago, reymitchel said:

OMG, what is going on here? 

how about you go to the first post and find out, actually you probably already did so DINKY WINKY.

 

Edited March 26, 2020 by Dirkidirk

[reymitchel]

1 hour ago, HansonKerman said:

aww, sorry if i hurt ur feelings 

here have a smiley face 

Thanks:)

[Mars-Bound Hokie]

7 hours ago, reymitchel said:

OMG, what is going on here? 

This.

 

6 hours ago, Dirkidirk said:

yaj kerman - staying at bop for a little too long.

While Yaj Kerman was waiting for his rescue ship to arrive, he fell asleep in his lander can. Unbeknownst to him, it was the end of the Bop Kraken's decades-long hibernation cycle. When it woke up, it sensed some food on the other side of the planet. Yaj Kerman couldn't fire up the engines - since the lander didn't have any - so he was easy prey for the hungry beast.

 

Naomi Kerman will die during Eve re-entry

[Dirkidirk]

1 hour ago, Mars-Bound Hokie said:

This.

 

While Yaj Kerman was waiting for his rescue ship to arrive, he fell asleep in his lander can. Unbeknownst to him, it was the end of the Bop Kraken's decades-long hibernation cycle. When it woke up, it sensed some food on the other side of the planet. Yaj Kerman couldn't fire up the engines - since the lander didn't have any - so he was easy prey for the hungry beast.

 

Naomi Kerman will die during Eve re-entry

"you know, we could have put a second heat shield on the top to keep it stable, but Thooose aaree eExpeeeeenssiiiive, aAnd, And, The A.I.R.B.R.A.K.E.S Are tOoooo steeep for our POOckets. "

 - cheapstake kerman, during his trial

"don't give me that face! Your Guilty As FRICK!"

 - john kerman

john kerman - shot during cheapskate's trial

Edited March 26, 2020 by Dirkidirk

[Hotel26]

On 3/27/2020 at 5:04 AM, Mars-Bound Hokie said:

This.

Man, Kerbal, as if we don't have enough to worry about IRL...!!  This video really disturbed me.  I've had nightmares ever since I first saw it.  But I think I have the answer??

1. is it Bill?
2. where is he now?

"Kill Bill Kerman".  With a cross-bow.  He is...

...he is...

...in the most obvious place in the Kerbolar system to perpetrate this dastardly kind of deed...

...he is in the...  Tracking Station! [1]

Bowmen!!  Rappel now from the TS roof.  Kill Bill!

 

[1] heck, I do this all the time...

[Mars-Bound Hokie]

1 hour ago, Hotel26 said:

This video really disturbed me.  I've had nightmares ever since I first saw it.

 

Well, was it good? Did you like it? Feel free to like, comment, and/or subscribe.

Spoiler

What did you expect? 

• Don't tell me you haven't killed any of your kerbalnauts (and/or used Quicksave/messed with the save files) due to bad engineering or execution.
  • Also counts if you killed them on purpose.
• For some people, the "Death Note" anime is perfect nightmare material. I mean, can you imagine someone who's able to kill hundreds of people at a time by just knowing their name and face? Not only that, Kira is willing to kill innocent people as well as dangerous criminals.
  • It doesn't give me nightmares, though. Of course, I hardly get nightmares at all.

Spoiler

Netflix "Death Note" doesn't count, because it was just terrible.

Merge the two together, and you get what happens at the KSC all the time - with a twist.

 

No Kerbals were permanently harmed in the making of this video, by the way.

 

Spoiler

 

1 hour ago, Hotel26 said:

is it Bill?

Yes, Bill Kerman is Kira Kirba.

• Yes, that also means he betrayed Jeb.
  • Though it was initially thought that he died due to gross pilot negligence (the plane seemed to be working fine), his flight suit's bio monitor picked up a heart attack seconds before the crash.

 

2 hours ago, Hotel26 said:

where is he now?

Unknown. Hours before the Mercury I RUD (Peter Kerman's Apollo-style Moho rocket), radar detected a private spaceplane taking off from 0-9 KSC at a heading of 90 degrees. However, its transponder signal went dead after it was 10 kilometers away from the coastline. 

• Valentina Kerman is also M.I.A.
• The plane has not been sighted since. Of course, nobody could see where it went (either visually or with radar) since, immediately after takeoff, there was a substance leak detected at R&D. The tower was also evacuated after someone crashed a rover to it; nobody else was killed or critically wounded.
  • Like with the original Death Note, the Kerbal Death Note doesn't allow additional deaths. You can't kill anyone who hasn't been named.

 

3 hours ago, Hotel26 said:

...he is...

...in the most obvious place in the Kerbolar system to perpetrate this dastardly kind of deed...

No sign of Bill or Val within the KSC perimeter. Besides that, before the plane took off, cybersecurity detected a breach coming from Archives. When they went to check it out, two of the technicians there were found dead. They're investigating the leak to find out where the stolen personnel files went to.

They also called in the services of a master detective known as "K."

 

3 hours ago, Hotel26 said:

Bowmen!!  Rappel now from the TS roof.  Kill Bill!

Just out of curiosity, was that a "Kill Bill" reference?

 

In the interest of not getting this thread derailed, if you want to comment on my video in the thread, just leave your opinion of it before submitting your entry (detailed scenario leading to the death of previous poster's victim, and then your next victim). Alternatively, you could always leave a like/comment on the video itself.

 

On 3/26/2020 at 6:39 PM, Dirkidirk said:

john kerman - shot during cheapskate's trial

Enraged at Cheapskate Kerman's gross negligence, John Kerman drew a handgun from his jacket and shot at Cheapskate - but missed. The bailiff immediately drew his service weapon and aimed at John, who took another shot at Cheapskate. Though Cheapskate was only grazed in the arm, the bailiff shot John in the chest. The trial judge immediately ordered the courtroom emptied and paramedics to the scene. They were able to save Cheapskate, but there was no hope for John.

 

Chelsea Kerman will fall to her death from 30 kilometers high.

[Hotel26]

9 hours ago, Mars-Bound Hokie said:

Just out of curiosity, was that a "Kill Bill" reference?

Yes.

Chelsea Kerman is eager to be an ace test pilot so she takes the assignment nobody wanted: test the new, strap-on rocket pack.  It's designed to get one Kerb into lunar orbit for rendez-vous.

Unfortunately, her high-school co-student and competitor for the same boys, Pheromone Kerman, has removed a pin from a valve in the RCS assembly.

Chelsea Kerman lifts off and goes instantly into a flat spin, out of control, only achieving a maximum altitude of 30 km.  By some inexplicable coincidence, her chute has been swapped for a drogue and Chelsea crashes into the ocean at 65 m/s.

Pheromone Kerman dies from steam-scalding.

Edited March 29, 2020 by Hotel26

[Stamp20]

Pheromone Kerman recently made a new breakthrough- a steam powered engine! No more expensive kerosene, liquid oxygen, or whatever expensive fuels rockets use. Instead, all you need is water and a heat source!

However, when the engine was tested, all of the water turned into steam because of the heater being overpowered, and killed Pheromone when the steam escaped out of the engine.

[HansonKerman]

ok.

 

Ethan Kerman-raging at his Pokémon game

[Wildcat111]

Ethan Kerman was playing Pokemon in orbit in his Mk1 command pod. For reasons unknown, he started raging and shattered the window of the command pod, leading to a rapid unscheduled depressurization.

Obi-Wan Kerman-lost the high ground

P.S. I'm sorry for doing this