Discussions Of Difficult To Get Along With Coworkers and How You Solved Matters (or even if you did'nt)

[Spacescifi]

Here you can discuss it, analyze it, or say how you solved it (or if you did not).

 

I go first.

The Frenemy: Let's call him Dave (not his real name) This guy has a reputation for being kind and helpful to those he is friends with on the job already, but also someone who will harass or make fun of anyone he thinks is not pulling their weight on the job.

The Past: Intitally I was not as good at my job starting out when I began years ago, and he did not like me much. But he did notice I tried hard and gave me unsolicited advice that actually did turn out helpful when I followed it (which I thanked him for).

The Present: We get along for the most part, and he is even friendly on occasion. Which is why the latest incident at first I did not take seriously... until I did.

The incident: My work involves being on feet and a lot of walking and lifting. My feet are sore at times and I walk with a limp occasionally (especially after just getting out of my vehicle from break or lunch). I can walk normal, but it's easier to limp if my feet are just "waking up" again as it were, until I am fully active and going full steam ahead again. Whenever I limped in the past he would ask why and I told him. I remember once when I asked him why he cares he said the sound of sliding of my soles on the ground annoys him. This happened on and off for months.

So just a few days ago he sees me limping coming back from a break or looking for a guy I was supposed to work with and he says "Is walking like that fun?"

Since I was on my way to try to find somebody else I brushed aside his sarcasm with my own.

"Try it!"

"No, I know how to walk." Dave said with a hint of bitterness.

"Still can!" I said with a shrug, but sensed all was not right so after walking away came back and asked him if my limp bothered him. He said he does not like the sound of it. I said if my foot hurts it's going to happen so he's just going to have to get used to it.

He replies that as many breaks as I take my feet should feel fine.

Now I realize he is serious and I likewise take on a serious demeanor.

"That was unnecessary."

"No, it was'nt."

With that I walked off, since I had work to do and this guy was stalling me. It was not as if I answered to him since he holds the same job title I do, nor should I have to explain my comings and goings to him. It's none of his business if I am looking for someone I need to work with who has paperwork without which I cannot start my assignment (the guy I was looking for I later learned was on break). It's none of Dave's business if I have to use the toilet during my work shift, we don't even work in the same area, he just happens to work near the exit, so he sees anytime anyone uses the bathroom or takes a break. I will admit some days as of late I had to go to the bathroom more often due to a runny nose from the cold weather, or worse case scenario use the toilet, but this is not something I do always. I never take more breaks than assigned but he obviously thought I was goofing off or being lazy.

Since I recently learned I had to wait for the guy I was looking for to return from his break, I returned to Dave to deal with him, since I have had to before, and if I did not correct this it would continue and I am not one that will tolerate anyone talking to me rudely on the regular or with acceptance.

His back was turned as I approached so I said "Dave?"

He turned around and I continued sternly "I don't want to hear you tell me about that again, and if you do, this will become an office matter (meaning I will report him to the boss)."

"OK."

"That's harassment. I won't tolerate that."

And with that I walked off.

Strangely... the next day he tells me good morning (he never does this usually since he usually only talks if I talk to him first UNLESS he is either trying to be helpful or is harassing). I told him good morning back, since I try not to hold grudges.

He even said good hustle as I worked (I tend to work harder and faster if I am angry even if only a bit, which I was). Of course, my personality type is an omega, and I really don't need anyone's praise or complements or even approval, especially anyone who feels the need to judge me when they should focus on what they are doing rather than others since they are not a manager and just the same as the rest.

I said nothing in reply and just kept working, and later when work became slower he engaged me in small talk and I wished him a happy holiday.

Analysis: Part of me kinda felt like saying "I accept your apology." Since this was his attempt to make amends I could tell even though he never gave an apology. The reason I did not is because he is a frenemy who has helped me in the past on the job, and I see no need to rub salt in a wound since what good does that do for peaceful relations? None. He already realizes he wronged me, and is obviously trying to make nice, so I saw no need to bring up or force an apology.

So ultimately I am glad he has enough maturity and humility to to try to make amends when he has wronged someone, since not everyone does (even some far older than him).

Even so, I am marking the date on my calendar, so when and if he screws up by harassing me on the job I will report him the day it happens.

Since I will not tolerate that. Nor should anyone. He can try that mess and may even get away with it with some, but not with me.

Regardless if others know my worth I have always felt I had it and deserved as much respect as any average person.

 

 

 

 

[kerbiloid]

Since the Pyramids had been built, Dave is bored and missing for the good old times, when he was motivating the builders with a whip.

[StrandedonEarth]

I solved my problem with a coworker who was sometimes snarly by getting a job with a different, closer company in the same industry, doing the same job. Much better work environment 

[Nuke]

most of the jobs ive had have been solo gigs. the one where my boss was in another state was especially nice, most of my interaction was through the mail. though there are a few horror stories i have from the pawn shop i worked at, but those usually get moderated out. lets just say it involved a toxic boss and a lot of illegal activity, where reporting it could have got a lot of good people fired. 

Edited January 4, 2024 by Nuke