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Felsmak

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^ Geography resource from my homelearning

Edited by Barzon Kerman
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HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It will soon be Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, please, have some standards!

10. One final tip: Wear sweatpants/loose fitting clothing. If you are leaving the party and you can walk without help from a construction forklift, "you haven't been paying attention, people!" Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

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..-. .-. .- ... - --- -. / -.-. .-.. .- ..- ... . / .. ... / -.-. --- -- .. -. / - --- / - --- .-- -. .-.-.- / .... . ... / -- .- -.- .. -. / .- / .-.. .. ... - --..-- / .... . ... / -.-. .... . -.-. -.- .. -. / .. - / - .-- .. -.-. . --..-- / .... . ... / --. --- -. -. .- / ..-. .. -. -.. / --- ..- - / .-- .... --- ... / -. .- ..- --. .... - -.-- / --- .-. / -. .. -.-. . --..-- / ..-. .-. .- ... - --- -. / -.-. .-.. .- ..- ... . / .. ... / -.-. --- -- .. -. / - --- / - --- .-- -. .-.-.- / .... . / ... . . ... / -.-- --- ..- / .-- .... . -. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .-.. -.-- .. -. --. --..-- / .... . / -.- -. --- .-- ... / .-- .... . -. / -.-- --- ..- ...- . / -... . . -. / -... .- -.. --..-- / .... . / -.- -. --- .-- ... / - .... .- - / -.-- --- ..- / ... -. ..- -.-. -.- / - .... .- - / - .-. . .- - / ... --- / -... . / --. --- --- -.. / ..-. --- .-. / --. --- --- -.. -. . ... ... / ... .- -.- . -.-.-- / --- .... --..-- / -.-- --- ..- / -... . - - . .-. / .-- .- - -.-. .... / --- ..- - --..-- / -.-- --- ..- / -... . - - . .-. / -. --- - / -.-. .-. -.-- --..-- / -.-- --- ..- / -... . - - . .-. / -. --- - / .--. --- ..- - --..-- / .. -- / - . .-.. .-.. .. -. / -.-- --- ..- / .-- .... -.-- / ..-. .-. .- ... - --- -. / -.-. .-.. .- ..- ... . / .. ... / -.-. --- -- .. -. / - --- / - --- .-- -. .-.-.-

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  • 3 weeks later...

..- -... .--- / --.- ...- --.- / .-.. -... .... / --.- .-. .--. -... --.- .-. / --. ..- ...- ..-. / ...- --. / . .-. -.. .... ...- . .-. ..-. / . -... --. .---- ...-- / -. .- --.- / --.. -... . ..-. .-. / .--. -... --.- .-. Try to decode this.

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We are the masters of a power driven to the far reaches of the universe, and we have but one desire! Can one such as you possibly fathom how dearly we have clung to this dream across the aeons? How could you! You couldn’t! Never ever ever! We who once faced those who were in such fear of our power that they sealed us away and banished us to the edge of the galaxy! US! As if THAT loveliness wasn’t enough, they tried to erase our very existence from history! RUDE! Only through our magic were we able to overcome their science and achieve great prosperity! We alone were responsible for stopping that repulsive nightmare of a galactic crisis, yet this is how you repay us! This won’t stand! It won’t be forgiven! It won’t be forgotten! Never ever EVER! Those who called us mad, are you listening? You left us at the edge of the galaxy to be forgotten, then went along your merry way, probably living somewhere pretty and peaceful! But know this! Your future is a farce! You have none! We, masters of a matter most dark, vow to be restored, as foretold in the book of legend, which everyone thought was just a fairy tale! It WASN’T! We have already obtained the vessel that contains our Dark Lord, and he will soon awaken and shower us in compassion! Look! The vessel of our Dark Lord is filling up even as we speak! Now the time for his greatness to enter our world has come! Welcome to a new history! A new age! The age of awesome! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARK LORD! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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KSP soundtrack:
Sun
    Near
    Far
Moho
    Surface
    space
Eve
    Far
    Near
    Entry
    Sky
    Surface
Gilly
    Gilly 1
    Gilly 2 (interchangeable anywhere in SOI)
Kerbin
    Surface
    Prelaunch
    Launch
    Sky
    Space near
    Space far
Mun
    Space
    Surface Kerbin-facing
    Surface Kerbin-opposing (only slightly different: omit references to Kerbin's theme)
Minmus
    Space
    Surface 1
    Surface 2
Duna
    Space
    Entry
    Surface
Ike
    Space
    Surface
Dres
    Space far (simple version)
    Space near
    Surface
Jool
    Space far
    Aerobraking
Laythe
    Space
    Entry
    Sky
    Surface
Vall
    Space
    Surface
    Vallhenge
Tylo
    Space
    Surface
Bop
    Bop 1
    Bop 2
    Kraken (make like Submerged Castle)
Pol
    Space
    Surface
Eeloo
    Space far
    Space near
    Surface

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