aleis Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Player: Engines to fulll.....Turn on ASAS....Start engines....Release docking clamps, "And we're OFF"ASAS: "OH, I remember this game! Let me help". Up, Down, Left, Right, A, B, StartPlayer: "Uhh... ASAS. Theres no cheat codes in this game...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuguley Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 WATCH OUT PLAYER!!! Your craft is 0.001degrees off-alignment! Applying FULL POWERRRRR!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlamedSteak Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 "5 Rockets? I suppose if I pitch them in every direction as quickly as possible it should stay straight....right?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OceanFire Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Mine on launch:"Why in the world would you build a payload like that? Oh whatever"In space:"Ok just another looooooooooooooooooooong burn"Landing:"Careful, careful... WHY DID YOU TURN ME OFF!?!? Oh we landed never mind"Flying a plane:"What even is this? I don't even know. You know what? I'm just going to make this do flips" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RocketPilot573 Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Bob: "Finally we docked to the Space Station! No thanks to the ASAS eating up all the Mono propellant though."ASAS 1: "MUST POINT NORTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"ASAS 2: "NOOOOO, POINT EAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Bill: "OHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"Jeb: "KSC, we have a-" BOOM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pontiac Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 I'm no where near creative enough to come up with stuff this funny. hahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazro Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalculusWarrior Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 I'm no where near creative enough to come up with stuff this funny. hahahaI'll do two to make up for that then "Alright, just a normal launch as alwa---oooooOOOOHHH this rocket has fins!"*I press T*"Wow, how do these work? I'd better wiggle them back and forth to make sure that they're functioning properly!"*wiggle wiggle wiggle*"Yay! We've launched! Woah, this rocket's kind of wiggling too..."*the rocket is now swinging at least 10 degrees off centre back and forth*"Why are you looking at me? From my point of view, the rocket is perfectly stationary!"*jettisons ASAS*~~~*approaching station, toggle RCS and ASAS*"Gah! There's monopropellant on this ship! I'm allergic to monopropellant!"*proceeds to expel every drop of RCS fuel out of the ports**jettisons ASAS* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamowin Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Jeb: We have liftoff!ASAS: Should we turn left now?Jeb: NOASAS: LEFT IT IS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadweasel Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 ...*approaching station, toggle RCS and ASAS*"Gah! There's monopropellant on this ship! I'm allergic to monopropellant!"*proceeds to expel every drop of RCS fuel out of the ports**jettisons ASAS*Actually, I just ran into this. A ship (basically an orange tank with ASAS and a Skipper slapped on, among a few small other things) that is perfectly able to settle out and stabilize well with RCS suddenly goes completely apesh*t when the station loads in (at 2.5km). Suddenly it can't balance out to save its hull, and since I've got those big KW RCS thrusters on, it just drinks down the monopropellant like its kool-aid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerekL1963 Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 I think my ASAS is trying to teach the booster the Hokey Pokey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SciMan Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 My ASAS: Hey, why don't you ever let me near the rockets or airplanes anymore?Me: (thinking: How do I put this nicely... got it.) "You have to be able to control you're own attitude before I can let you control the attitude of a rocket"My ASAS: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T CONTROL MY ATTITUDE!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom K. Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Weird, I've NEVER experienced any problems with the ASAS, it keeps my rocket stable throughout the whole mission.ASAS: You know that I'm the last computer left, not infected by ... the thing ... it's a horrible virus that causes every single cell in a computers Hardware to spasm out and flip itself inside out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nerdboy64 Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 "Okay, we're doing fine. This is good. WAITWHAT!? Why are we spinning!? Oh god LEFT LEFT LEFT! No, wait, RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT! OHGODOHGODOHGOD!" *splash*--ASAS of every SSTO I've ever made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
accrsd Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Bob: Allright Asas we did this manuver 100 times in simulation before breakfast, are you ready to do it for real?Asas: SPAAAAAAACEBob: ... I'll take that as a yes, ok now on the count of threeAsas: LETS GO!! I'M GONNA BE IN SPACE... SPACE... SPAAACE!Bob: .... Mission control we are going to have to abort, the Asas just tore off our second stage boosterAsas: NOOOOO SPAAAACE T_T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aleis Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Me: Turns on ASAS and launches rocket. "Wow this is flying pretty stable think i can do this one."Me: Turns off ASAS "OH GOD, It's not stable. NOT STABLE AT ALL!"Me: Turns ASAS back onASAS: "No."Me: "Wait, WHAT? But you were just able to to this WHATS CHANGED?"ASAS: "I'm sorry but you turned me off, I'm on lunch now. Fly it your self." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptiSTR Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 I dont know what you guys taking about...my ASAS works perfectly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jocax188723 Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 My ASAS must be infected my Clarksonitis or something. It keeps going "POWEERRRRRRR!" at inopportune moments."So here we have a docking with the station, gently, gently, and-""POWWEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!""We've just entered the Dunar atmosphere-about to touch down, praying the ASAS will keep us level-""POWEEEERRRRRRRRR!"I think I'll stick to manual flying for the time being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scub Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asmayus Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 ASAS: What?! You decoupled the launch stage? FULL POWER TO THE RIGHT! ohnononono. we over shot. FULL POWER TO THE LEFT! Ah, shoot, missed again. AND NOW WE'RE TIPPING OVER! no, no, I've got this, watch: FULL POWER TO THE RIGHT! oh, didn't work, and now we're upside down. FULL POWER TO THE LEFT! omgitsworking!!1! We're coming back up! LEFT-LEFT-LEFT! WOHOO! UPRIGHT! oh no. falling over again. Right- no time. FULL POWER TO THE LEFT! WHOOHOO! UPRIGHT! Oh no. falling over again. no time to thrust right so FULL POWER TO THE LEFT! WOO-Me: Esc. End flight. Cry.Glad I'm not the only one with horror stories And for what it's worth, it works more often than not for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hello moto Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Man that was a heavy launch load, now that you've decoupled, it's... Time... To... DANCE!!!!!!ASAS then thinks its the lines from 'you spin me round baby right round like a record baby round round round roundroundroundrundrundrunrndrnd rnddrrrerr r end r end Rene n Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShroomOfDoom Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 (edited) ASAS:Oh,you want to go into space? Let me play you the song of my people: LEFTRIGHTLEFTRIGHTUPDOWNLEFTUPDONLEFTRIGHUPDOABARRELROLL Edited May 27, 2013 by ShroomOfDoom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Error Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Every time I decouple something, ASAS tries to turn and stare. Thus, there's a lot of noodle-y rocket and/or explode-y rocket. ASAS: Pretty! I want to turn and loo--No.ASAS: Fine, then you get to fly manually.-You're such an arse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilotionCR2 Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Jeb: KSC? Are you sure about that high payload?KSC: Don't worry,we have Delta IV to get to orbit.ASAS: OMFG WE ARE 0.0000001 OFF THE COURSE!!! RIGHT TOP RCS PORT TO FULL TO COMPENSATE!Jeb: Stop ASAS! TOP IS LEANING 15 DEGREES TO THE LEFT!ASAS: APPLYING TOP LEFT RCS PORT TO COMPENSATE!*Sounds of top of the rocket crashing into the bottom of the rocket* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felsmak Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Mine would be singing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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