DEFEND YOURSELF! Lock This Thread Now!

[Whirligig Girl]

Let's imagine all the mars rovers now have human-ish brains and a conciousness. There's also HUMANOID ALIENS invading mars! FOr some reason they want to KILL the rovers! The Martians have bronze-age technology. What rovers can defend themselves best and how? The rovers can also talk to eachother every time an orbital satellite passes overhead of both of them.

EDIT: Can we lock this?

Edited November 20, 2014 by GregroxMun

[xenomorph555]

Curiosity is a nuclear powered laser tank and opportunity is well... weak.

[Whirligig Girl]

(Oh, also I forgot to mention that all the machines on mars are entirely restored to the full capability that they were when they first landed. Also they have personalities matching their name. Even old russian missions survive now!)

Spirit is FASTER than Curiosity, remember! You have to remember that the joints and speeds of rovers are still very slow, and curiosity could only give a skin burn to a martian warrior if it's in it's line of sight!

Edited November 18, 2014 by GregroxMun

[megatiger78]

curiosity can find a alien laser and shoot it

[Mr_Brain]

Bronze-age martians? Just use the technological might of human inventions to make them believe our robots are GODS.

[Whirligig Girl]

But they want to KILL them because they are DEMONS.

- - - Updated - - -

curiosity can find a alien laser and shoot it

THe aliens don't have lasers. They're bronze age. Think ancient rome/greece etc.

[RogueMason]

"Curiosity, I'm telling you, we need to grab the next opportunity to avenge our fallen comrade!"

"Opportunity, my friend, I'm too busy blasting rocks to engage in a war with your fictional aliens."

"Damn it, man, they killed Spirit, my brother!"

"And I killed cats, hence why I've been exiled here. If any aliens show up, I'll be sure to zap them with my laser. Now, if you don't mind..."

"Agh, Mars Science Laboratory, as your senior, I'm ordering you to listen to me right now!"

"Did you just use my full name?!"

"Yes, you stupid hunk of nuclear-powered circuitry!"

"Well..."

"Don't 'Well' me, Curiosity! We've got to strike while the timing is right!"

"Opportunity, if you want to avenge your sibling, then go right ahead, but I've not seen any Martians around, so I'm not bothered by any-- OOH, SHINY ROCK, SHINY ROCK."

"Sigh... Sojourner, you up for--"

"zzz...zzz...zzz..."

"Oh, right, I forgot about that... Curiosity, come on, man!"

"Nope, rock rock rock rock rock rock..."

"Ugh, I guess I'll just go and pillage some stuff from Beagle 2..."

Meanwhile, on Earth...

"Say, uh, anyone know why the rovers are talking?"

"They always talk to us, Carl."

"No, I mean to each other, Dave. They're talking to each other, something about Martians with spears and killing Spirit."

"Spirit? Oh, the other rover."

"Hey, Spirit was my favourite. Opportunity always seemed to be the more boisterous of the two. Hmm, probably why it decided to proclaim seniority over Curiosity."

"Are you, uh, alright Carl? Maybe you should see a doctor or something."

"But I'm telling you, the rovers are talking to each other!"

"Sure they are, Carl. Come on."

"But... but..."

"Now now, Carl, let's just be quiet, shall we?"

[NovaSilisko]

Well... they can only drive at a few centimeters per second and Curiosity's arm/mast servos work at a similar slow speed. Its laser would be more of an annoyance, and you could defeat the thing by running up to it and kicking it a few times in the right spots.

Not really a fair fight.

[GregA]

I want to see an automated experimental lab that is capable of doing GMO experiments, and see it land on mars and try and make lichen that is capable of surviving in the mars environments. Then if it is successful, It would be capable of automatically genetically sequencing the successful specimen, and sending the data back to Earth.

At that point a, a formality, a broadband transmission to the planet that we plan to annex it.

Then start bombarding the planet with earth based martian life forms.

[Engineer of Stuff]

"Curiosity, I'm telling you, we need to grab the next opportunity to avenge our fallen comrade!"

"Opportunity, my friend, I'm too busy blasting rocks to engage in a war with

-snip-

This would be a great plot for a story!

[NovaSilisko]

I want to see an automated experimental lab that is capable of doing GMO experiments, and see it land on mars and try and make lichen that is capable of surviving in the mars environments. Then if it is successful, It would be capable of automatically genetically sequencing the successful specimen, and sending the data back to Earth.

At that point a, a formality, a broadband transmission to the planet that we plan to annex it.

Then start bombarding the planet with earth based martian life forms.

It's FAR easier to just emulate martian conditions on Earth (or in a small centrifuge in space, if you need the lower gravity, but lichen don't care much about that) than to pack up, radiationproof, and launch all that equipment to mars.

[Whirligig Girl]

It's FAR easier to just emulate martian conditions on Earth (or in a small centrifuge in space, if you need the lower gravity, but lichen don't care much about that) than to pack up, radiationproof, and launch all that equipment to mars.

Except that we need the scientists to do the GMO'ing! (Of course we don't really, but don't tell Congress that!)

[Whirligig Girl]

"Curiosity, I'm telling you, we need to grab the next opportunity to avenge our fallen comrade!"

"Opportunity, my friend, I'm too busy blasting rocks to engage in a war with your fictional aliens."

"Damn it, man, they killed Spirit, my brother!"

"And I killed cats, hence why I've been exiled here. If any aliens show up, I'll be sure to zap them with my laser. Now, if you don't mind..."

"Agh, Mars Science Laboratory, as your senior, I'm ordering you to listen to me right now!"

"Did you just use my full name?!"

"Yes, you stupid hunk of nuclear-powered circuitry!"

"Well..."

"Don't 'Well' me, Curiosity! We've got to strike while the timing is right!"

"Opportunity, if you want to avenge your sibling, then go right ahead, but I've not seen any Martians around, so I'm not bothered by any-- OOH, SHINY ROCK, SHINY ROCK."

"Sigh... Sojourner, you up for--"

"zzz...zzz...zzz..."

"Oh, right, I forgot about that... Curiosity, come on, man!"

"Nope, rock rock rock rock rock rock..."

"Ugh, I guess I'll just go and pillage some stuff from Beagle 2..."

Meanwhile, on Earth...

"Say, uh, anyone know why the rovers are talking?"

"They always talk to us, Carl."

"No, I mean to each other, Dave. They're talking to each other, something about Martians with spears and killing Spirit."

"Spirit? Oh, the other rover."

"Hey, Spirit was my favourite. Opportunity always seemed to be the more boisterous of the two. Hmm, probably why it decided to proclaim seniority over Curiosity."

"Are you, uh, alright Carl? Maybe you should see a doctor or something."

"But I'm telling you, the rovers are talking to each other!"

"Sure they are, Carl. Come on."

"But... but..."

"Now now, Carl, let's just be quiet, shall we?"

THERE IS TOO MUCH AWESOME HERE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THIS IS TRULY THE GREATEST STORY I'VE EVER READ! YOU MUST FLESH IT OUT INTO A FULL STORY!

Well... they can only drive at a few centimeters per second and Curiosity's arm/mast servos work at a similar slow speed. Its laser would be more of an annoyance, and you could defeat the thing by running up to it and kicking it a few times in the right spots.

Not really a fair fight.

That's the idea. It's the ingenuity of the rovers's new brains that would be needed to get them out of this. Space-Age knowledge, some interesting tech, and a little bit of mobility. They might not survive long, the point is to think about which would survive the longest and how long would that be. Put yourself inside a rover's body, is what I'm saying.

[razark]

There's also HUMANOID ALIENS invading mars! The Martians have bronze-age technology.

The invading aliens have Bronze Age tech? Or there's a third faction besides the rovers and the Non-Martian invaders?

Of course, humanoids in the thin Martian atmosphere would have a very low chance of surviving the environment with Bronze Age technology. And if the invaders have that low a level of technology, then how did they manage to invade anyway?

[Vanamonde]

The robots attempt to conceal themselves by moving their thread to Forum Games.

[dryer_lint]

"Curiosity, I'm telling you, we need to grab the next opportunity to avenge our fallen comrade!"

more stuff

I wanted to give you rep, but it won't let me

[Engineer of Stuff]

Curiosity used its sky crane to move faster.

[Sun]

I feel like this is turning into a roleplay thread!

[megatiger78]

spirit is dead because of mud. how does that make you feel sun? -oppourtunity, 2014

[WinkAllKerb'']

The robots attempt to conceal themselves by moving their thread to Forum Games.

I'm in then:

You fools, who will want to kill a robot wearing a pony suit ?

[Sun]

EVERYONE!!!!

Because MLP and its related content can go jump in a hole.

[mrrpamplemousse]

What was this thread about already?

Why was it derailed so fast?

Why is it in the forum games?

Viking 2 main chip fried while trying to answer those questions.

[EdFred]

If the humanoid aliens only have bronze age technology, how in the (insert string of cussing here) are they INVADING Mars?

This is a worse premise than Sharktopus vs Pteracuda.

[cantab]

Well they can't run and they can't fight.

So one option is to hide. With orbiter support they might be able to do that, depending on where the Martians are and how fast they tend to move about.

Another option is to scare the Martians off. Though slow, noisy mechanical things would probably make the Martians wary. At first - I'm not sure this would keep the rovers safe for long.

[megatiger78]

ok so spirit is a ghost and can ghost the maritians. simple enough. seems easy to avoid