Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[General Rarity]

Granted, but the lamp is overcharged and explodes the lampshade along with itself.

I wish for moar liquid boosters.

[cantab]

Granted. The "Fire Ant" .625 m LFB is added to KSP. But it's actually worse than an ant engine under a few oscar-B tanks.

I wish that MLP would be abruptly cancelled.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. It is replaced with My Little Pastor, a televangelism show that airs 24h a day on all channels.

I wish religion wasn't such a big deal to people.

[mythbusters844]

Granted. Now, some people don't care about what they do because they no longer believe in judgement and the afterlife and some of them destroy everything they see, including you.

I wish I had more green bars.

[cantab]

Granted. Pop music becomes a far bigger deal than religion ever was, and the Biebersade devastates North America.

Edit: I should learn to refresh before my post. Granted. But you have no red or blue bars.

I wish my internet was cheap, reliable, and quick.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. It is also severely filtered.

I wish for Internet businesses to ignore national boundaries.

[cantab]

Granted, by way of China conquering the world.

I wish for more genies.

[Overfloater]

Here you go:

"Genies"... that's short for guinea pigs. right...? o.O

I wish for a steak.

[Guest]

Granted. But it turns into a cow as soon as you touch it.

I wish that the ISS astronauts said hi to me while floating above my house.

[Overfloater]

Granted, but they get sucked out of the ISS as soon as they open the window to wave their hands to you. Happy? ._o

I wish for a cow.

[cantab]

Granted. Well by said I mean wrote on the side of the munition on the secret weapon system they're helping test. It's a direct hit!

I wish people understood that orbits are stable.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. They refuse to fund station-keeping thrusters on all subsequent real life satellites.

I wish KSP physics applied to real life.

[worir4]

It does! Just throw a brick and watch it glide through the sky, Don't believe me? Throw one toward you neighbors window and it will fly up away from it into the sky!

I wish I had more rep.

[Overfloater]

Granted. But it's bad rep, you now have bad reputation among some un-heard-of community O.O

u need to be more specific.

I wish internet point bars were all the same color!

[cantab]

Granted. Everything is black. Text, pictures, backgrounds, mouse cursor, all black.

I wish for more magic lamps.

[Tery215]

Granted. All of them contain red genies, which grant half-wishes. You are so dissatisfied that you leave.

I wish that screens, especially phone screens, stopped working.

[cantab]

Darn it, my screen broke and I can't see what your wish was. I wish my screen was fixed.

[Tery215]

Granted. The phone engineer builds a gun into your screen, and you get sent to prison for it.

I wish for the ability to make half-wishes.

[r4pt0r]

Granted. I hope you have the facilities to care for a female whale, otherwise known as a cow.

I wish spring comes soon.

[cantab]

Granted. It sends a ball bearing flying into your eye.

I wish Christmas would go away. Bah, humbug!

[LABHOUSE]

Granted, but your great grandma doesn't get that gift of money so she can't afford the life saving surgery, so you aren't born.

I wish for my wish to be granted.

[Ikaneko]

Granted. Everyone hates you now.

I wish for the Copernicus MTV to have been built and flown TO MARS AND THAT IT SUCCESSFULLY carries out its missions.

[LABHOUSE]

Granted, you don't live to see it happen.

I wish to have a better wish and be better at making wishes.

[Lhathron the Elf]

Granted. You now have a better corrupted wish and are better and making dreams corrupted.

I wish for the power to corrupt dreams.

[cantab]

Granted. You trigger nightmares in the waking at forty paces, whether you want to or not.

I wish for a good Christmas Number 1 that's nothing to do with the X Factor.