Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[cantab]

Granted. They're just on the edge of black hole ness. Then somebody else wishes for a puppy. KERBLAM!

I wish for some puppy. A safe amount.

[goldenpeach]

You get very angry Pit bulls while you are covered with meat.

I wish I could have enough delta-v to land on Moho(and get back, of course).

[Tery215]

Granted. All of your dV is contained in the wondrous photon drive device, the Illuminator mK I. Takes hundreds of years to land, though.

I wish for a dish of animal.

[Kinglet]

I wish for a medium sized fragment cannon.

[Tery215]

Granted. You receive a cannon in the form of medium sized fragments.

I wish that penguins were space pirates.

[Sesni]

Granted, but they take over the ISS and then bombard the planet. Thanks Obama. (fyi sarcasm haha funny)

I wish that I had a supercomputer with no capacity to take over the world.

[SmartS=true]

Granted. It has the ability to take over all of the world except 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 googlplexths of a square Plank distance.

I wish for whoever does not corrupt this wish to get whatever they want, as long as it harms nothing, and if you corrupt the wish, you get eaten alive by zombies. You may not change the question, including this part, at all.

[Sesni]

There was no question. Therefore I change to question to be "if you could get anything in the world you want, right now, what would you get and do with it?" I get a really sick rocket launcher and go to town on ISIS.

Off Topic: I said the supercomputer would have :"no capacity to take over the world" Don't know if you're jumping my capacity usage or not, please tell me.

I wish for a Umarex ARX-160 Elite.

[waterlubber]

Since "Santa" has no idea what that is, you don't get it.

I wish I knew what a Umarex ARX-160 Elite was.

[Sesni]

You do, but you are incorrect.

I still wish for a Umarex ARX-160 Elite.

[Tery215]

Granted. It can only fire little bullets made of sponge.

I wish for a giant sponge shooting gun.

[Sesni]

Granted, but it shoots them straight down no matter what.

I wish for an XBOX One.

[cantab]

Granted. It has a calibre of 50000000 mm and no ability to shoot anything besides a sponge. It's also buried in the ground (it kind of *has* to be) so can only fire on a bearing of 080° at an elevation of 12°.

Edit: Yes, the above perfectly well describes the XBox.

I wish the Thames would flow backwards.

[Tery215]

Granted. The force of gravity is perpendicular to what it should be for Thames, and it forms a giant wave of doom that destroys england.

I wish for all water to evaporate.

[Mr_Brain]

Granted. The water inside you evaporates and takes up a much larger volume now. You explode (as does everyone else, and everything alive else, and really, why would you wish for something like that!?).

I wish for all previous wishes to be undone.

[CelticCossack51]

Granted, but your wish became undone and everything stays the same.

i wish 64 bit became stable.

[Tery215]

Granted. It also grew teeth. 64 teeth, to be precise.

I wish for my microwave to be upgraded to a hyperdeath microbeam cannon.

[Sampa]

granted, but you die from food poisoning and radiation from the upgrade.

I wish I was the avatar. (Avatar The Last Airbender Reference)

[Skyro]

Granted, but you can only bend yourself, which inundates you with immense amounts of pain.

I wish for a tank (like an army tank).

[Tery215]

Granted. It's a box with wheels on it, but it still goes over trenches.

I wish for a bigger computer screen.

[Rolanvorxariat]

Granted, but it is so big and massive, it dwarfs the Andromeda galaxy, and then it collapses into a super massive black hole that sucks up 50% of the total mass of the universe in 129.333334 nanoseconds.

i wish that ksp had no bugs and that My potato computer could support environmental visual enhancement mods.

[SpaceJuice]

Granted, the potato turned out to have a mind of its self.I wish i had a box.

[Yukon0009]

Granted. The box eats you.

I wish I was invisible.

[Boosterspice]

Granted. You can't see yourself and you get an existential crisis.

I wish for a fuse.

[cicatrix]

Granted, you get one. It melts because of high current.

I wish my project to be complete now.