Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[MDZhB]

Granted, Terabithia are Terabythia, and there were Sea Gate, but then there were Atlantis and everything just accidentally.

I wish for a hole deep enough for me to jump into and not be able to escape or be rescued.

[Confused Scientist]

Granted. The hole is bottomless, and you come out on the other side of the world.

 

I wish for a wheel of cheese.

[Human Person]

granted, It rolls you over. 

 

I wish for a pleasant surprise.

[MDZhB]

Granted, you get an invitation to a social event with some friends.

Too bad it's a funeral.

 

I wish for all life in the universe to die and for there to be no new life.

[kerbiloid]

Queued. Please, reboot the Universe to apply changes.

I wish to clean the wish queue.

[KerBlitz Kerman]

Granted, but your wish is added to the queue.

I wish everybody knew about KSP

[Tux1]

Granted. But now the community is incredibly immature.

I wish everybody knew about Homestuck. (because there's this weird think where half the people on earth know about it and half don't)

[Human Person]

Granted, now everybody talks about nothing but Homestuck!

I wish for Granit.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. You are the captain of a smuggler ship in a restricted area, and your ship gets a pair of Granits.

I wish the authors (or maybe these are translators) of Vikings series stop calling all Ragnar's sons "Lothbrok". It's not a surname, it's a personal nickname.

[Xorth Tanovar]

Granted. They now call him "Lithobrake"

I wish for a reincarnation of the Babylon 5: Lost Tales series

[LawnDartLeo]

Your wish is granted but all the episodes are flashbacks to Londo Mollari’s awkward childhood years.

i wish I knew how to post my flipping Imgur images to my forum posts.

Edited February 2, 2018 by LawnDartLeo

[Kernel Kraken]

Granted, but you decided to find out on your own through trial and error, and end up with several viruses, a hacked Imgur server, and a lengthy file manipulation process involving the word firmware, which takes like 4 hours to upload a photo on to the forums.

I wish I had infinite jello- filled Twinkies.

No, I did not just say something smart and then say something dumb.

Edited February 2, 2018 by TheMadKraken2297
Better wish corruption.

[roboslacker]

Granted, you have a single twinkie containing infinite jello. +3 to diabetes risk

I wish for a more powerful laptop

[0111narwhalz]

Granted, but it's not any bigger and so melts itself into slag in the time it takes to trip the breakers in your house.

I wish for a free lunch.

[LawnDartLeo]

Its waiting for you on Eeloo

I wish my dogs had opposable thumbs so I could put them to work instead of just laying around all day.

Edited February 2, 2018 by LawnDartLeo

[Kernel Kraken]

Granted, but they go on strike for not being paid anything but dog food. It also looks purty dang creepy, and weirds you out. -2 CON.

I wish my dog could talk.

 

Edited February 2, 2018 by TheMadKraken2297

[kerbiloid]

Granted. Now you know all it thinks about you.

I wish I had a personal Groundhog Day for a year or so.

[Delay]

Granted. You were hit by a car that day, however. Now it's too late for regrets as you get hit by that car again, and again, and again...

I wish humanity would colonize the moon.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. Invaders from Orion make humanity escape to the Moon occupying the Earth.

I wish I had avoided this answering to an answer to my post.
_{(But temptation was too strong).}

[Kernel Kraken]

You avoided it, but after you used too much brainpower on this problem you grew tired and accidentally ate the infinite -jello filled Twinkie. You have Diabetes now.

I wish I had all human knowledge and could skip all schooling, or training.

[roboslacker]

Granted. With your newfound knowledge, you are labeled as a threat to humanity and eliminated.

I wish for a million ducks

[LawnDartLeo]

The wish grantor mistook duck for truck and now you are buried under a mountain of GMC Sierras.

I wish my children listened to me.

Edited February 3, 2018 by LawnDartLeo

[Kernel Kraken]

All of the ducks 'spawned' in the same space, therefore the 14 million pounds of duck within roughly 1000? Cubic centimeters causes it to collapse into a black hole, devouring you and the rest of the planet, and as it grows, ever so slightly affecting the orbit of the other planets, in which the black hole ends up affecting the other planets so much, it eats Mars, and it's increased weight but same speed causes it's orbit to decay, eventually reaching, and eating, the sun.

I wish I could make a wish with such hardcore XKCD/ What If style corruptive possibilities.

Edit: someone awnsered  the duck post while I was typing my awnsers... I like my awnsers better though. 

Edited February 3, 2018 by TheMadKraken2297

[kerbiloid]

2 hours ago, LawnDartLeo said:

I wish my children listened to me.

Granted. You become an XKCD comic character, and you children read you to laugh.

2 hours ago, TheMadKraken2297 said:

I wish I could make a wish with such hardcore XKCD/ What If style corruptive possibilities.

Granted, too. That XKCD comic character gives you ideas.

I wish I had read e-mail last evening to stay home this morning instead of looking at the closed doors. Though, I had a walk.

[Kernel Kraken]

12 minutes ago, kerbiloid said:

Granted. You become an XKCD comic character, and you children read you to laugh.

Granted, too. That XKCD comic character gives you ideas.

I wish I had read e-mail last evening to stay home this morning instead of looking at the closed doors. Though, I had a walk.

You read the email, but then a guy in a black Guy- Fawkes style hat came in and fired a crossbow at your computer, making it all meaningless. 

I wish that I had a 450 pound hamster.