Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[satcharna]

Granted! Tomorrow, Squad announce its completion and move on to something else. Unfortunately, it's still quite buggy.

I wish my spaceplane would fly more like a dove and less like a brick.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but as you fly it the plane attempts to flap its wings. Unfortunately, it still isn't enough of a dove to be able to do this safely, and the aircraft quickly rips apart.

I wish that my house was made of gold.

[The Jedi Master]

Granted. Your see the property tax. 'Nuff said.

I wish I knew what to do with my time other than stare at my computer screen.

[tygoo7]

Granted, but its watching a Justin Bieber concert that never ends.

I wish that I was a finger nail clipper

[Holo]

Granted, but the fingernails you clip are really gross.

I wish I was trained in gorilla warfare.

[OdinYggd]

Granted. But there's a spy in your platoon and he shoots you in the back.

I wish you guys wouldn't take off like a rocket in the counting thread.

[Holo]

Granted. Now we take off like an Alcubierre Drive.

I wish my space station could orbit.

[Flymetothemun]

Granted, now you have to find a way to get up there without emptying your bank account .

EDIT:

I wish i could remember to wish for things

[OdinYggd]

Granted. you start forgetting to answer the wish above you.

I wish I could ride the train.

[LeonG17]

Granted, you ride the train by attaching yourself to the wheels

I wish that we would get to 1000 in the counting thread

[1001sd]

Granted, but Odin shoots you.

I wish that the mods were at sleep for 24 hours. All of them at the same time. And without breaks.

[LeonG17]

Granted but you don't get any sleep as your up for the tenth day with the post count at 10,000

I wish for a bullet proof skin to protect myself when Odin shoots me.

[OdinYggd]

Granted. I shoot you with a laser instead, because I know where to get those.

I wish I knew why my house smells like pizza this morning.

[LeonG17]

Granted, it turns out your house is made of cheese and starts to cook during the morning

I wish that 10 people would post in the counting thread all the time at once.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but then the moderators do the same immediately afterward.

I wish that I had a XB-70 Valkyrie.

[LeonG17]

Granted, Jeb steals it

I wish I didn't have over 10 exams in the next 5 weeks.

[Flixxbeatz]

Granted. All of your teachers will forget about the exams they must give to you, to the point that they would not even remind you of it, and no one knows about it, therefore causing you and your classmates to fail.

I wish for a banana.

[LeonG17]

Granted, it contains arsenic.

I wish to be more intelligent.

[satcharna]

Granted, but as your intelligence increases, your happiness decreases, according to this graph:

I wish there were more graphs.

[LeonG17]

Granted, the entire world runs on graphs and the world suffocates as society stagnates.

I wish that I could be intelligent but happy.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but you are so happy that its creepy and everyone avoids you.

I wish that the Beatles had never broken up.

[hyperformer]

Granted, but they soon suicide because they wish they could have

I wish for jelly beans and fruit snacks

[SpaceK531]

granted: the jelly beans and fruit snacks are laden with chemicals and you die from eating them. True story.

I wish for a sunny day.

[ShachonianX]

Granted, but it is so sunny the Earth is toasted.

I wish it could be a cloudy day.

[Hammaneggs]

Granted. But it is so cloudy you get depressed launch yourself into space without extra air.

I wish to be the first man on Mars alive long enough to watch a colony develop there.