Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[Norpo]

Granted, but the method involves a bobsled on a slippery track system. With rockets. It's extremely dangerous, and it takes up a lot of room. (it could be one heck of a roller coaster ride before you pull 20 Gs and die though)

I wish that when I was sick, I would be smart enough to not leave napkins everywhere...

[Felsmak]

Granted. Being sick now drastically lowers your IQ, and until you get well again, not leaving napkins everywhere is the only thing you can do.

I wish for this wish to be granted in an hour.

[Tery215]

Granted. Your wish is granted past the end of time.

I wish for all space games to copy each-other.

[Guest]

Granted. But suddenly Everyone dies in the war of copying eachother,they got knocked by the law hammer..

I wish that I could Be a elf at the north pole..

[Tery215]

Granted. Santa Claus, the last orc lord of the earth, captures you.

I wish I could eat faster.

[zekes]

granted, but you get very, VERY fat every time.

I wish for a tank.

[CelticCossack51]

granted but you get an empty fuel tank.

I wish for a wish that is wishful wished by a witch

[Prof. Endwalker]

Granted. She wished for your death.

I wish for a moon to be named after me.

[Noname117]

Granted. It is only named that because you were stranded on it and died

I wish for an aircraft to be named after me

[vexx32]

Granted. It is the Nameless One, the devourer of all things. It is given to you as a gift by Vladimir Putin, in recognition of your (presumably accidental) saving of his life upon witnessing an assassination attempt. It is small, a four-seater private aircraft, but moves deceptively fast owing to its soul-consuming combustion engine. Its jet-black glossy finish cannot be scratched even if you should take a titanium-alloy blade to it, and the paint job is known to quaff the blood of anything living careless enough to come into contact with it. You were never told any of this, however. Putin merely ushered you inside with a pilot he considered disposable, and watched as your maiden flight tore your very soul to smithereens. Your screams were never heard, for you never had time to utter any. By the time you realised what was happening, you were already dying, your body being devoured by the exquisite yet cute red-and-purple seat covers, crafted from something not entirely unlike dyed leather.

I wish I had a better brain.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. More blissful is better. Ignorance is bliss. Therefore more ignorance is installed in your brain.

I wish I knew why Purolator has had my packages at the same sorting facility for a week. :/

[Tery215]

Granted. He shows you the inside of the facility, which is a 5,000 by 5,000 by 5,000 cube of hoppers that sorts all existing items in LifeCraft.

I wish that hoppers were the only form of automatic sorting.

[CelticCossack51]

Granted, but all the modders put a ban on hoppers

I wish for water!

[LABHOUSE]

Granted, you drown.

I wish I did not have any exams this week or the next without any adverse affect on my grades, or knowledge, or reputation.

[Tery215]

Granted. Thanks to your leisurely magical gain of knowledge, deathbots now rule the world. Not your deathbots, they just popped out of nowhere.

I wish I was the previous wisher.

[KasperVld]

Granted, but because you are technically yourself the previous wisher nothing happens.

I wish for the perfect wish.

[Flymetothemun]

I shall give you the most superlative, the perfection of wishes!

Ah yes! It is a wish for a metric tonne of fishes!

I wish for a excavator that could scoop up 10,000+ homes,

could dig cubic miles of earth, sands, and stones.

Edited December 16, 2014 by Flymetothemun

[LABHOUSE]

Edit: nevermind, ninja'd

[Tery215]

Granted. In the first cubic mile of earthsandstone, your excavator is destroyed by a megabeast. Giant dog things get released from the underground.

I wish for giant dog things.

[mythbusters844]

Granted. The giant dog thing looks like a protein and eats you.

I wish I could stop time and get moar sleep.

[Overfloater]

Granted, but while you stop time you age 20 times faster =(

I wish for a private starship with a functional albuquerque drive.

[DovaJeb]

Granted, however, since you are using the cheap, terrible Albuquerque drive in lieu of the Alcubierre drive, the ship explodes from faulty engineering.

I wish for bow ties. All of the bow ties.

[Pugspaceprogram]

Granted, but you are crushed to death by the immense weight of the bow ties.

I wish for the star ship Enterprise to be my sweet new ride!

[Tery215]

Granted. Space King tells you all the laws you have to follow. It gets very boring after he charges you (200 moneys * travel distance(kilometers))/month for the starship license.

I wish for a spaceship license.

[Pugspaceprogram]

Granted, but it is void.

I wish that Kerbals ran NASA