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What's The mystery goo?


AeronautEdward

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They told me some technobabble too, but I don't believe them. I think they only gave it to me so I keep launching it to Kod knows where, so I let them do the researching without interruptions. Than when I approach them proudly, showing goo that was on another planet or so, they go 'aww director, very interesting data (supressed giggle), let us study it for a few days... maybe on the weekend too.. we might be able to develop a battery that's bigger... or a wing with a different shape! Keep it coming!'

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The Goo may or may not be alive. It often leaves it's canister when exposed to water, and turns dark red in Dunian space, which suggests that it can detect some energy emitted by the planet. We don't know why this is, and after some strange chattering noises were heard coming from the Goo storage containers they have been moved to a locked underground bunker for "safety purposes", although really it's just that the stuff is freaking out the interns. It hasn't shown definite signs of sentience, but it has been shown to be quite good at opening boxes, which we discovered after it was left in a sealed box overnight to run a maze. It ignored the maze, somehow opened the container, and was found the next morning about halfway from the lab table to the door. Another reason the material is kept in the bunker. Different samples of Goo tend to move towards each other, even when in separate containers and can meld together resulting in a single, large Goo. Goo motion speed estimations vary wildly, with the only general conclusion being that it goes way faster when no one is around.

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17 minutes ago, cubinator said:

The Goo may or may not be alive. It often leaves it's canister when exposed to water, and turns dark red in Dunian space, which suggests that it can detect some energy emitted by the planet. We don't know why this is, and after some strange chattering noises were heard coming from the Goo storage containers they have been moved to a locked underground bunker for "safety purposes", although really it's just that the stuff is freaking out the interns. It hasn't shown definite signs of sentience, but it has been shown to be quite good at opening boxes, which we discovered after it was left in a sealed box overnight to run a maze. It ignored the maze, somehow opened the container, and was found the next morning about halfway from the lab table to the door. Another reason the material is kept in the bunker. Different samples of Goo tend to move towards each other, even when in separate containers and can meld together resulting in a single, large Goo. Goo motion speed estimations vary wildly, with the only general conclusion being that it goes way faster when no one is around.

That explains alot. :D

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The goo seems to feel quite at home in much of space, suggesting that it came from space. This was the beginning of Yogur Kerman's efforts to figure out what Mystery Goo is and where it came from. His next step was to attempt a material analysis on the goo itself. While none of the KSC staff would let him near any equipment that could be used to open up a mystery goo container, he was able to find some old spacecraft wreckage in Jebediah Kerman's Junkyard and Spaceship Parts Company that seemed to have some mysterious residue on it. He scraped some up and compared it to his own Mystery Goo Jr. Novelty Science Kit, and found that it was in fact reacting more or less the same.

 

He was finally able to use a Material Analysis Computatron to find out what the stuff was made from. Yogur was surprised to find that it seems to be made of the same stuff as living things. While he had seen no proof the material was alive, it seemed to move. Perhaps a large scale virus? He continued his study. He tried feeding it some food. The mystery goo seemed to attempt to eat the food, but spat it out. "Perhaps" said Yogur, "It can't eat snacks." He then reached for some sugar. "If you can not digest this stuff, then you can digest nothing!" He yelled at the goo. It didn't eat it.

 

Yogur was about to give up. He still found no proof that it was or was not life of any kind. Bob Kerman, one of his colleagues whenever he was on the ground, entered the lab. "Still trying to figure out the mystery goo mystery, eh?" He asked. "Yeah. Not really getting anywhere." Bob poked the goo. It attached to his finger. Bob stood in a trance, unable to move. He collapsed, with the goo on his finger. The goo turned green, and then dripped off of Bob's finger. "Oh what pain!" Bob cried. "What suffering they go through!" He yelled. "What absolute torment!" He blubbered. "What terrifying agony!" He weeped. "What--" He collapsed onto the ground.

 

When Bob woke up, he was in the hospital with Yogur, Jebediah, Valentina, and Bill surrounding him. "The goo." Bob said. "We have to let the goo go!" Bob tried to sit up, but he couldn't. "Listen, Bob." A nurse said. "That fluid-like-material has damaged your nervous system. You can't move until the damage has healed." She said. Another nurse held up a jar containing the now very green mystery goo. "In here" he said "Is the contaminant that has poisioned you." Bob shook his head. "No!" He said. "That's no contaminant. It's alive! It talked to me!" Valentina leaned over to Jeb "He's insane!" She said quitely. "I'm not insane!" Bob corrected. "It's telepathic. They don't want us to touch the goo because then it will talk! I found out what the goo is!" He said. "It's a sapient race of creatures from intergalactic space. They travel in the mystery goo containers and try to explore new worlds. When their fleet landed on Kerbin, they were unable to safely exit their containers." Bill said. "That is the very definition of insanity!" Said Bill. "No, it's not. Think about it. Why are the containers already space grade? Why are we unable to open them properly? Why do they behave alive? Why do they react to their situation?" Yogur dropped his pencil and slapped his face "Of course!" He said "It makes perfect sense." He swiped the mystery goo jar away from the nurse and touched the material. He shortly passed out. After enough people caught on that this was no insanity, Kerbalkind eventually had to pass legislature enabling the goo legal rights. Some of them even liked Kerbin enough to call it home, and so were granted citizenship.

 

And that, little Billy-Bobfred, is why you can't say mean things to the blue goo in the swimming pool at your school. He's entitled to a supportive, happy education just like you are.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

... and that's what happens when you write with no clear plan ahead.

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When you open a Mystery Goo canister, you don't see any actual goo. Just the perforated metal grille, which you can't see through despite the holes in it. So, don't try and analyze the goo. That's impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth........

There is no Goo.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/25/2016 at 4:16 PM, livefree75 said:

I think Mystery Goo is a collection of microorganisms that have the ability to bond and synchronize with each other, effectively creating a bloblike single life form.

I think you just described Kerbals, but I'm not quite sure...

More research is required. 

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I still reckon it's agar.

Poured_seeded_agar_P7231209md.jpg

Everything else that's attributed to the goo, is whatever the Kerbal form of anthropomorphism is known as.

Why do they call it mystery goo?  Branding.

Edited by pxi
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