vexx32

Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

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Granted. It's on the Moon. Yours, mind you, but you can't fly it.

I wish my colleague would hurry up and email me.

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Granted. You receive a clock. There's a button on it that makes whooshy noises, you are now a time lord.

I wish for a button that makes whooshy noises.

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Granted. The only snacks it dispenses are tofu-based ones.

I wish I had never tried a tofu "burger".

I feel insulted for being vegetarian now.

Anyway...

Granted, but it drives you crazy and you and everyone in your house suicides.

I wish to not be cross eyed.

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I feel insulted for being vegetarian now.

Why? Tofu is nasty whether one is vegetarian or not.

*ahem*

Granted. Your eyes are perfectly aligned but you are now blind.

I wish Windows installation didn't take so long.

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Granted. You are now a brologna, which is a made up meat product.

I wish for a format.

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Granted, YOU get reformatted to a .mu file.

I wish that I would have the ability to predict when Squad updates KSP.

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Granted, but your PC melts down and your Steam account gets stolen.

I wish to have a new, perfectly working car, since mine is starting to fall apart.

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Granted. You get a BMW M5 in top condition in every way but one: the inside stinks of skunk spray and the smell is unremovable.

I wish my computer wasn't acting weird.

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Granted. A repairman fixes your computer.. And then It blows up,so he then gives you the bill you have to pay 1 bajillion dollars.

I wish that the whole world dances at the exact second.

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Granted - you dance too and everyone else thinks it makes you look silly.

I wish there was at least one screenshot featuring the new mk3 cockpit with the user interface turned on.

(I haven't updated yet - only when I get home in a couple of days)

Edited by Overfloater

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Granted. The new Mk3 cockpit has no IVA, it's just black space. (Seriously.)

I wish for a 13th day of Christmas.

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Granted. The 13th day brings 13 spoiled milk containers.

I wish for a cup of spoiled milk.

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Granted. It turns any liquid it comes in contact with into more spoiled milk - including the cytoplasm in human cells. Then you spill it.

I wish for a cup of free time.

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Granted. this Cup gives you free time ONCE when you drink it,so you drink it and you get free time For an hour in deep space..

I wish that i could go to universal orlando..

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Granted. You get abducted by an intergalactic space fleet called "Universal Orlando". They're universal.

I wish that "Universal Orlando" was an intergalactic space fleet.

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Granted, but the space pirates raid the fleet using 500 5000kw lasers and a large missile array.

I wish the person above me had a pie!

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Granted. There is nobody above you for the next [very large unit of distance]. A pie spontaneously appears in an alien mining ship, exploding the ship. The fireball somehow reaches you.

I wish the asteroids would be better.

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Granted. They are better.... at colliding with you and your things and ships at very high velocities.

I wish I had a normal, non-dangerous, edible potato.

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Granted. You receive an industrial potato. They taste (much, much) worse, but they have higher calories.

I wish I had more time to do things.

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Granted. You get an extra millisecond that nobody else has. Enjoy.

I wish I had an extra hour a night to sleep.

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Granted. You receive an extra hour at night to sleep, but can only sleep in that hour. You soon suffer from severe sleep deprivation.

I wish for the color green to exist.

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Granted. 2 positives make a negative, green doesn't exist (MWAHAHAHAHA)

I wish for infinite kittens, in a configuration not dense enough to become a black hole

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