55delta
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Everything posted by 55delta
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Calling 911 for help finding my copy of The Tibetan Book of the Dead. (Operator: "Where did you last trip out?"
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Calling 911 because I have balls of steel. (Operator: "Unless you're stuck to a very big magnet, it's not an emergency.")
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Calling 911 asking for investment advice. (Operator: "Invest in emergency services, obviously.")
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Calling 911 to tell them to like and subscribe to my channel. (Operator: "Your shameless plug has earned you a time-out." Click.)
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Calling 911 because they can't send over an ambulance because to get to me, it would have to go halfway to me. To do that, it would have to go halfway to halfway. To do that, it would to go halfway to halfway to halfway of that. Continuing as such, it can't get to me. (Operator: "A centipede makes it without thinking. The ambulance will as well.")
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Calling 911 because no one wants to see Marshall no more. (Operator: "If you want Shady, then this is what I'll give you." Click, followed by dial-tone.)
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Calling 911 because I'm unsure how to rate my delivery order. ("The companies decide pay and bonuses by ratings. So always 5-star.")
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Calling 911 because you're still mad about that time they smuggled a corned beef sandwich onto Gemini 3.
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I have a question, what is sqauring? I know what squaring is, to make square. But sqauring... Some might call it a spelling error. But what else could it be?
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Very much so!
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Calling 911 because I heard that the moon is made of green cheese, and I don't know how, if the moon is made of it, we know what green cheese is.
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Calling 911 because the missile knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn't. By subtracting where it is from where it isn't, or where it isn't from where it is (whichever is greater), it obtains a difference or deviation. The guidance subsystem uses deviation to generate corrective commands to drive the missile from a position where it is to a position where it isn't and arriving at a position where it wasn't, it now is. Consequently, the position where it is is now the position that it wasn't, and it follows that the position that it was is now the position that it isn’t. In the event that the position that it is in is not the position that it wasn’t, the system has acquired a variation, the variation being the difference between where the missile is and where it wasn’t. If variation is considered to be a significant factor, it too may be corrected by the GEA. However, the missile must also know where it was. The missile guidance computer scenario works as follows. Because a variation has modified some of the information the missile has obtained, it is not sure just where it is. However, it is sure where it isn’t, within reason, and it knows where it was. It now subtracts where it should be from where it wasn’t, or vice versa, and by differentiating this from the algebraic sum of where it shouldn’t be and where it was, it is able to obtain the deviation and its variation, which is called error.
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Calling 911 because I just got this cool idea for a fanfic.
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(I killed it, but I guess it's time to resurrect it.) From E-Comm's 2022 list of top 10 nuisance calls: Calling 911 because... ....you had a broken windshield wiper. ...someone cut in line at the car wash. ...you wanted an update on a nationwide telco outage. ...your phone was stuck in a bench. ...you had a complaint about children drawing with chalk at a playground. ...someone has been using your garbage bin. ...someone isn't picking up after their dog. ...people are playing basketball on a public court at night. ...you have a flat tire. ...the nozzle of the gas station pump isn't working. (And honorable mention) ...you have a messy roommate.
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Calling 911 because my computer was gone for repairs.
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(How about an old reference?) Calling 911 to say, "It looks like you're directing an Ambulance. Would you like help?"
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Calling 911 to say, "This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. This is only a test."
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Calling 911 because you thought the iPhone 14's emergency satellite connection feature was cool and just had to test it out.
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Calling 911 because I have to develop my game for a console that doesn't support the game's engine. ("You mean like when BigRedButton had to put their Cryengine 3 game on the Wii U? Tragically, no emergency services can save you, your game, or your developer. But we are very sorry because we understand your pain.")
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Calling 911 because you don't know if you can port your game assets from Build engine to Unity.
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Calling 911 because the other race team pitted a lap early and we don't know why, so we need to change our race strategy mid-race.
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Calling 911 to ask for a limerick. ("An accident, fire, or crime can happen any day, any time. Our intervention is timely, with results that happen ideally, When this idiot gets off of the line.")
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Calling 911 because I don't know what the little red button on the bottom of the gun does. ("You should have asked the manufacturer for that information.")
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Calling 911 to ask why my cellphone gets more unreliable and signal gets weaker in proximity to spree killers and isolated murders. ("That's just the government-required Closed Circle Preservation Unit added to all phones, as demanded by the Writer's Guild.")
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Calling 911 because nobody laughs when I tell them that stories about lithium-ion batteries should be put under the 'current events' section of the news website.
