KAL 9000

JAI (my Kerbal company) has finished image enhancements. Close-up of the anomaly: That's as good as we could get the image. PPMTL-B01: ERROR. SEVERAL MASSIVE SYSTEM FAILURES DETECTED. CAUSE: UNKNOWN. PPMTL-B01: BEGINNING DIAGNOSTIC SEQUENCE... PROBODOBODYNE QBE: INTACT, SOME CODE CORRUPTED COMMUNOTRON 88-88: INTACT, DATA CABLE SEVERED GRAVMAX NEGATIVE GRAVIOLI DETECTOR: MODERATE DAMAGE DOUBLE-C SEISMIC ACCELEROMETER: LIGHT DAMAGE 2HOT THERMOMETER: HEAVY DAMAGE PRESMAT BAROMETER: INTACT, OPERATIONAL PB-NUK RADIOISOTOPE THERMOELECTRIC GENERATOR: INTACT, GENERATING POWER OSCAR-B FUEL TANK: HEAVY DAMAGE, LEAKING FUEL LV-1 "ANT" LIQUID FUEL ENGINE: HEAVY DAMAGE, NOT USABLE TT-38K RADIAL DECOUPLER: DECOUPLED EARLIER, HEAVY DAMAGE PPMTL-B01: UN-CORRUPTING CODE IN PROBODOBODYNE QBE... DONE PPMTL-B01: SWITCHING TO BACKUP DATA CABLE FOR COMMUNOTRON 88-88... DONE PPMTL-B01: REPAIRING SENSORS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE... DONE PPMTL-B01: OSCAR-B FUEL TANK, LV-1 "ANT" LIQUID FUEL ENGINE, AND TT-38K RADIAL DECOUPLER NOT NEEDED ANYMORE. SHUTTING DOWN THOSE SYSTEMS... DONE PPMTL-B01: RE-ESTABLISHING CONTACT WITH KRON 6... PPMTL-B01: RE-ESTABLISHING CONTACT WITH KRON 6... PPMTL-B01: RE-ESTABLISHING CONTACT WITH KRON 6... PPMTL-B01: CONTACT RE-ESTABLISHED!

Hey, @A.I. Commander, I think you accidentally posted the wrong link, buddy...

THAT WOULD WORK! #TheresStillHope #SaveBartdon #IOnlyCareAboutBartdonScrewTheRestOfThem

YUS!

WAIT WHAT?! YOU SURE? Because I'm pretty sure JAI's Kubble Space Telescope took accurate readings... and I really didn't want to sacrifice innocent Kerbal souls to the Kraken (YOU HEARD NOTHING) for no reason...

PPMTL-B01: DECOUPLING CONFIRMED. STAND BY, ACTIVATING ANTENNA... PPMTL-B01: ANTENNA ACTIVATED. ESTABLISHING COMMUNICATIONS LINK WITH KRON 6... PPMTL-B01: KRON 6, THIS IS PPMTL-B01. ALL SYSTEMS NOMINAL, GO FOR DEORBIT BURN. KRON 6: COPY, PPMTL-B01, THIS IS KERTY. DEORBIT BURN PARAMETERS: -8.0 M/S , (+,-)0.0 M/S , (+,-)0.0 M/S , BURN IN 000:000:0:01:00.00000 PPMTL-B01: ROGER. ENGINE ACTIVATED, THROTTLE 0. BURN IN 3... 2... 1... THROTTLE 100. BURN COMPLETE, THROTTLE 0. KRON 6: YOUR TRAJECTORY LOOKS GOOD. PPMTL-B01: ROGER. ALL SYSTEMS GO FOR LANDING, ALL READOUTS 5 BY 5, OVER.

Hey, @Just Jim, I have a song prepared for the inevitable boss battle with the Kraken! I'm not singing it yet, you'll have to wait until then, guys!

I think we all agree that KSP would look great on the big screen. WE COULD GET MOAR BACKSTORY YAY! Anyway, let's say it's five years in the future. KSP has become as popular as Minecraft (hopefully), and some film studios are thinking about making a movie. We bring a good director, excellent staff, and talented actors on board, as well as a $500 million budget (totally not realistic, but this is hypothetical). WHAT DO YOU WANT THE KERBAL MOVIE TO BE ABOUT? Some of my ideas: -The beginnings of the space program (Think the Right Stuff and Apollo 13 with Kerbals) -The Dunian (It sells itself!) -Kerbfleet: The Movie -Spy thriller starring Special Agent Kirrim What ideas do you have?

HECK YEA! I cannot function without VSR ever since I found out about it a few months ago!

In other words: DO NOT GO GENTLY INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT

Pre-releases aren't stable. Try 1.2.2. Do you have Kopernicus? That's required. You have great English! The names are cool, maybe you can talk to someone about incorporating them into a planet pack. Another Laythe would be nice, but we already have a Laythe!

Happy Easter to everyone that celebrates it, and Happy Sunday to everyone who doesn't!

Well, think about it. A BLACK HOLE IS GOING TO EAT THE SOLAR SYSTEM! DUNA WILL BE DESTROYED AS WELL!

I love Macey Dean! I'm working on a painting of the Battle of Laythe now!

Camwise is going to exploit Murphy's Law for fun and profit (and revenge), isn't he?

You do realize that that song was not written for The Martian, right? You can find it on the Internet for free.

And your journey to the Dark Side will be complete!

Antimatter warheads

For heavy/super-heavy propulsion, you can never go wrong with a good Orion Drive.

Who cares?

OF COURSE! It all makes sense now...

Montage time! *Cargo rocket lifts off, carrying the first part of the ICS into orbit* Goodbye love Didn't know what time it was the lights were low oh how I leaned back on my radio oh oh *ITS lifts off, carrying construction crew into orbit* Some cat was layin' down some rock 'n' roll 'lotta soul, he said Then the loud sound did seem to fade a ade Came back like a slow voice on a wave of phase ha haze That weren't no d.j. that was hazy cosmic jive *Construction crew docks to the first ICS component in orbit* There's a starman waiting in the sky He'd like to come and meet us But he thinks he'd blow our minds *ICS structural frame takes shape* There's a starman waiting in the sky He's told us not to blow it 'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile *Cargo rocket 02 lifts off* O o oh Let the children lose it Let the children use it Let the children boogie Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na *TO BE CONTINUED*

*intro music* ON-SCREEN TEXT: KERBAL NEWS NETWORK "Hello, and welcome back to KNN, Kerbalkind's number one news source! I'm Burmont Kerman, and if you're just joining us, we've been talking about a terrifying new discovery by the Kerbol Space Telescope. It appears as though there's a black hole headed directly at the Kerbol system! Here's our space correspondent, Fredley Kerman, with more on this exciting development." "That's right, Burmont. It's a state of general panic here at the KSC, with scientists frantically redoing their calculations for the tenth time to make sure that this is in fact real. The black hole has the official designation of K2SO-LB5437, although many here at KSC have nicknamed it 'Kargantua'. It's about three times the mass of our own sun, Kerbol, and is about half a light-year away. It's approaching at about one-tenth the speed of light, and so will impact in five years. Bock to you, Burmont." "Thank you, Fredley. This was originally thought to be a hoax by a KSC scientist until it was independently confirmed by JAI, who are currently working on an evacuation ship to carry as many Kerbals as possible to a habitable planet in a nearby star system and save Kerbalkind."

JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Interstellar Colony Ship (ICS) Blueprints finalized JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: ICS much too large to send into orbit with one launch: Orbital assembly required JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Duna program no longer required: ITS to be converted to large Kerbin orbital shuttle JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Informing Hardfield of plan updates At JAI Headquarters, KAL and his right-hand Kerb, Joshmal Kerman, dragged a random guy off the street into an empty JAI spacecraft hangar. "We'll need more than engineering skill and luck to make this plan successful," KAL said. They drew a pentagram on the ground with a marker that had suspiciously red ink. Joshmal read from a book entitled Kerbalnomicon, directing the setup. KAL yelled out an incantation in Kerb Latin. Oyay ingentemyay akenKray icimusDay ientissimampay ontentionemcay ecumtay Utyay oblemapray ostrumnay estyay auxiliumyay Etyay inyay edituray acrificeSay umussay obisvay Ordinariusyay aechay erbalKay "Hey, dude, what's your name?" "Jon-Jonton Ker-Kerman" JONTON KERMAN! A thunderstorm raged outside, and a dramatic bolt of lightning streaked to the ground outside the window. Something materialized inside the hangar, its true form too vile for Kerbals to even comprehend. Everything about it seemed... off... in many strange ways. KAL opened up TVTropes and checked every box in the "Eldritch Abomination" entry. The creature transformed into A Form You Are Comfortable With and took on the appearance of a giant squid with a watermelon for a body. "YoU hAvE sUmMoNeD mE, pUnY kErBaLs. I aM kNoWn By MaNy NaMeS: dEsTrOyEr Of WoRlDs, CtHuLhU, pOlItIcS, aNd MaNy ThAt ArE tOo InCoMpReHeNsIbLe To YoUr FoOlIsH mOrTaL mInDs, BuT yOu MaY cAlL mE tHe KrAkEn." "Okay, Kraken-" "ThE kRaKeN" "-The Kraken, sorry. We need your help in evacuating the Kerbol system, and in return, we'll sacrifice this guy to you." "KeRbAl SoUlS dO tAsTe BeTtEr WhEn SaCrIfIcEd. YoU hAvE a DeAl." "Thank you, The Kraken." Having secured The Kraken's aid, KAL and Joshmal walked away, oblivious to the tortured screams of Jonton. --- There you go, @TheEpicSquared! A foolproof Kerbol evacuation plan! I may have taken drastic measures, but I think it was worth it .