Kerbalsaurus

Zielonki, Pomeranian Voivodeship, Poland https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zielonki,_Pomeranian_Voivodeship

Banned for disrespecting numbers.

YEAR 1, DAY 52 - THE ACCEPTABLE STUFF As night fell over Kerbal Space Center, engineers and researchers were all trying to make sense of what happened today with Moohicky-1. But the administration was busy talking about something else, perhaps more ambitious. “May you all please be seated, and let us begin the meeting,” said Director Kerbalsaurus Kerman. “I understand that Moonhicky-1 was not a good look for the agency, but-” “Not a good look?!” screamed PR Head Gus Kerman. “We’ve only launched our fourth mission and the public is already wary of the space program!” “But,” continued the director, “we need to keep moving forward. Kongress has agreed to let this one slide, and we churn out rockets quickly enough anyways. I’m sure, with the minds of our engineers, the next Munshot will go much better.” “Wait, we’ve already done a briefing on Moonhicky-1, why did you want a meeting today?” asked an administrator. “Because vee have a new assignment from zee higher ups in our government.”Everyone turned to see who the speaker was. It was Wernher von Kerman. “Sure, everyone’s excited zat we’re exploring shpace, but in reality, we’re sending glorified trash cans. Zere’s nothing but soulless machinery inside, incapable of telling us vat is up there in good detail.” “And? What’s your point?” asked the administrator. “If vee vant any good data from shpace, vee must send up Kerbalz!” A slight chuckle came from everyone in the room. “Vat?” replied Wernher. “I’m serious. It’s vat zee public wants. It’s vat zee government wants. We cannot keep sending computers into shpace, for both zee shpace program’s sake and zee sake of our shpecies.” “A Kerbal in space?” said the administrator. “What’s next, a Kerbal on the Mun? It’s all just too outrageous for where we are right now.” “And two years ago it was unthinkable zat a satellite would be up zere, whizzing above our heads, and now we have three,” replied Wernher. "'Vell', who do you 'vant' going up?” asked another administrator mockingly. “I vant zee best and brightest of our shpecies to go up. Maybe scientists and engineers.” Many in the room murmured in agreement with Wernher. “And maybe…” Wernher hesitated, “pilots too.” Immediately, a collective groan rose through the room. “We can’t send pilots!” yelled Kerbalsaurus. “They're cocky and superstitious! They’re always competing with each other, and go on about that ‘Sky Kracken’ of theirs! They’d be impossible to work with!” “Vell, I did say zee best and brightest,” Wernher angrily replied back. “Who better to fly a shpaceship zan a pilot?” “A computer! Kerbals who we train to fly them!” yelled back Gus. “Pilots would be horrible to the press and public! We want to keep a certain image!” “Vell vhat’s worse for zee program?!” Wernher finally snapped back. “A couple of rude pilots, or many dead Kerbalz?!” The room finally went quiet. “Sure, pilots have an uptight personality. But zey think quickly, and know how to act in dire situations. Frankly, zeir uptightness may end up saving zem!” The room went quiet, as everyone thought. After a few minutes of silence, Director Kerbalsaurus finally spoke up. “Well, what are you all sitting around for? Go get him some Kerbonauts!” *** I decided that special chapters like this with conversations behind closed doors would make more sense if they were in a novel-style layout, as press would obviously not be allowed into these meetings. I would've drawn some pictures to go along with this, but the one I made sucked so I just kind of gave up. Oh, and one more thing, the weird words with z in them are supposed to convey Wernher's German (Kerman?) accent. I thought I might have to elaborate that.

I break the laws of physics and manage to use the information from the ash and turn it back into a cookie, after which I coat it in a fire-resistant fabric. Coated, fire-resistant cookie.

I had to clean up a mess after my dog killed a baby rabbit. My brother had to pry her away from another one (thankfully it lived, and only had a light cut behind its ear). I’m writing this while standing guard of the den.

Their starting to become less common for me, only happening between 12pm to 2pm EST.

Dang, how long did this take?

How do you do these orbits in the stock KSP system, specifically on Kerbin. I know how to do equatorial, polar, and geosynchronous, but that’s about it. What are the parameters for these orbits?

~KERBAL GAZETTE~ SPACE PROGRAM SHOT MUNSHOT! YEAR 1, DAY 51 - MOONHICKY-1 MISSION OBJECTIVE: Launch the first spacecraft to orbit the Mun. LAUNCH VEHICLE: Prima-2 Rocket “All systems are GO, resume countdown at T- 3 minutes.” - Gene Kerman (Flight Director) Yesterday, Beyond shot for the very thing that inspired space exploration to begin with: the Mun. For millenia, Kerbals have wondered, can we get to the Mun? Is it truly made of cheese? And if so, how do we eat it? Well, the Moonhicky-1 would go out there and answer our questions. The Mun is a peculiar object in the sky, sitting at an almost perfectly equatorial, and circular orbit. And while this predictable orbit may make it seem easy to get to, it sits around 11,000km away from Kerbin. This means we need a significantly higher amount of fuel to get there than LKO. In fact, you need so much fuel, Beyond had to create an entirely new rocket. The Prima-2 is a space rocket derived from the Doohicky Program’s Prima-1 rocket. The Prima-2 is similar to the Prima-1, even using the Poodle A upper stage, but the first stage has been upgraded so that the rocket can lift a heavier payload off of Kerbin’s surface. Compared to the measly 500kg limit of the Prima-1, the Prima-2 has a mind-boggling 800kg limit to LKO. This doesn’t mean the Prima-1 is retired. Beyond has discussed interest in using the rocket for another satellite program. It just doesn’t meet the requirements for a Mun flight. The Moonhicky spacecraft itself is actually made of two parts: a munar circularization engine and the probe itself. Once in munar orbit, the engine will use a sepratron between the engine and probe, and be sent hurtling into the Mun’s surface. However, there was a significant oversight on this feature… “Liftoff on Moonhicky-1!” - Gene Kerman Moonhicky-1 continues to make its way to orbit. “We are GO for orbit.” - Chris Kerman (BOOSTER) Once the spacecraft was in orbit, preparations immediately began to put the spacecraft on a trajectory that would send it towards the Mun, called the Trans-Munar Injection Burn (TMI). This is another difficult part of the mission. There is only a short window in an orbit where a spacecraft could make its way to the Mun. Try it too early, the spacecraft will go flying in Kerbin. Try it too late, it’ll be put into an orbit from which the mission cannot be salvaged. After the exact maeuver is layed out, Gene Kerman says words never uddered before: “We are GO for TMI!” - Gene Kerman Moonhicky-1 now en-route to the Mun For the next day, Moonhicky-1 slowly drifts up towards the Mun. Meanwhile, staff in mission control take bets on what they’ll find there. “We have confirmation that Moonhicky-1 has entered Munar space. Oh, and Bobak, put down $50 on Mun-men for me.” - Gene Kerman Coming up is the next mission critical point, the Munar orbital insertion burn. If they do this successfully, they will have put the first object into munar orbit. “Successful Munar Orbit confirmed!” - Gene Kerman They’d done it! Moonhick-1 is now sitting in a stable Munar orbit! Cheers erupt in mission control, as they’d put a satellite around a satellite! All they need to do now is separate the orbit insertion stage. Should be easy eno- Suddenly warning lights flash across mission controllers consoles. Everyone was suddenly in a flurry, until the head of SOLAR noticed that the power was extremely low. Others noticed that the on board cameras weren’t sending a signal anymore. Suddenly it hit everyone: the sepratron destroyed the lower half of the probe. Those in charge of the DATA department tried torun the experiments and transmit them back to Kerbin, but there wasn’t enough power to get even one experiment back. The mission controllers just sat back, and let the sense of failure sink in as Moonhicky-1 plummeted into the munar surface. “Well everybody, we’re back to square 1 and I’m out of $50.” - Gene Kerman READ NEXT: Dr. Barnard Kerman Performs the First Heart Transplant (pg.1) | World’s Best Pilot, Jebediah Kerman, Nearly Destroys Neighborhood with Plane (pg. 5) | Kerbin’s Best Restaurants of 1961 (pg. 8)

~KERBAL GAZETTE~ BEYOND JUST WON’T STOP LAUNCHING SATELLITES YEAR 1, DAY 45 - DOOHICKY-3 MISSION OBJECTIVE: Launch the Doohicky-3 satellite into orbit. LAUNCH VEHICLE: Prima-1 Rocket Yes, Beyond is launching the final mission in the Doohicky Program. Engineers claim this mission is more of a performance test for the Prima-1 Rocket, to monitor every moving part inside of it for more complex future flights. However, some insider information says that Beyond is studying the viability of the Prima-1 Rocket to launch a Kerbal into space. While we cannot confirm these rumors, it’s certainly exciting to think that Kerbals themselves could be going to space sometime in the near future. There are no photos of the launch, as our on-site staff believe that satellite launches have been seen enough times. However, the launch was successful. “Orbit confirmed on Doohicky-3” - Kraft Kerman READ NEXT: Head Administrator Dwight Kerman Signs Bill Lowering Housing Costs (pg. 5) | Brawl Starts in Streets Between Dres Belivers and Dres Deniers (pg. 7) | Move Over Pants, Super Long Shorts are Now in Fashion (pg. 11) *** Not many screenshots because I feel seeing this mission launch would be kind of redundant.

<--- Is not Manul. @ColdJ may be present

Banned for banning me.

Banned for being unable to ban anyone.

Google Specifically, I put the screenshot in a Google drawing doc, lookup “camera grain transparent”, and then copy it and put on top of the screenshot.

~KERBAL GAZETTE~ BEYOND LAUNCHES ANOTHER SATELLITE, GOES AS WELL AS YOU'D EXPECT! YEAR 1, DAY 27 - DOOHICKY-2 MISSION OBJECTIVE: Launch the Doohicky-2 satellite into LKO. LAUNCH VEHICLE: Prima-1 Rocket Doohicky-2 sits on the launchpad, with the nearly complete Kerbal Space Center in the background. This morning, Beyond set out to prove that Doohicky-1 wasn’t just a fluke. Just 14 days after Doohicky-1, Doohicky-2 sits ready and waiting on LC-40! The mission moddo: “Nothing has Changed!”. Significantly less crowds wait by the beach to watch the spacecraft liftoff. “Liftoff on Doohicky-2!” - Bobak Kerman (Flight Director) (I forgot to get a screenshot of this.) “Doohicky-2 is GO for stage 2 ignition.” - Chris Kerman (BOOSTER) “All systems are nominal, continuing orbital insertion burn at full force!” - Bobak Kerman “Kerbin orbit is confirmed!” - Bobak Kerman Doohicky-2 has become Kerbin’s second satellite! If Beyond keeps this up, they may be able to launch, wait for it- a THIRD satellite. Truly exciting times we live in. In all seriousness, Beyond has announced they are working on a final Doohicky satellite, but they’ve also announced they’re working on a probe to the Mun, which will most likely launch sometime next month. Kerbals around the world are excited about this, but Beyond has refused to give anymore details about the mission. Keep your ears ready Kerbals (wherever they are)! READ NEXT: CalSpace Races to Find Pilot Aces for first Supersonic Plane (pg.3) | Who will be the first Kerbal in Space? Here are the Nation’s Top Candidates (pg. 7) | Mysterious Activities Around Abandoned Dessert Launch Site (pg. 15)

Thank you! I try my best to keep Beyond's world looking alive. In game, Kerbin is just a featureless ball, so I try my best to breathe life into it. And also, you don't need to feel ashamed about the dialogue in DIRECT. It fits for the type of thread DIRECT is. Beyond is a thread much more reliant on making the reader experience the world via dialogue, while DIRECT is focused on putting the reader in the world it's set in by telling the story visually. We just have different writing styles, that's all.

The Martian is a good one. Project Hail Mary meets a lot of the criteria you laid down. I don’t like it, but you definitely would. Another one is a book called Space Case. It’s not a hard read, but it’s a fun book. It’s a murder mystery set on a moon base.

Did you read the last post? I just haven’t had the time to write it, that’s all.

N -1

Check the OP.

I have been to the KSP player’s Mecca.

~KERBAL GAZETTE~ BEYOND LAUNCHES KERBIN'S THIRD MOON! YEAR 1, DAY 13 - DOOHICKY-1 MISSION OBJECTIVE: Launch Kerbin’s first artificial satellite LAUNCH VEHICLE: Prima-1 Rocket The Prima-1 sits poised and ready on the launchpad. “T- 15 seconds to launch.” - Gene Kerman (Flight Controller) Today is a historic day on Kerbin, as Beyond prepares to launch its first artificial satellite! The Doohicky-1, as it’s been named, is a small, cheap, and very basic satellite. This is on purpose. Scientists say it’s supposed to be punctual, now showy. It has all of the necessities a satellite needs: power, computers, and science. Obviously it’s much more complex than that, but really that’s all you need to know. It sits on top of the very first orbit capable rocket, the Prima-1. It’s not all too innovative, just a USC-1 with a second stage stuck atop it (named the Poodle-A). It’s only capable of lifting about 500kg to orbit, but it’s an important stepping stone in space exploration. “T- 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, ignition sequence start, 3, 2, 1...” - Gene Kerman “We have ignition,” - Gene Kerman “And we have liftoff! Liftoff on Doohicky-1!” - Gene Kerman Crowds on the cape cheered as the rocket rumbled into the air! They watched as the flame slowly disappeared into the clouds and thunduorous sound of the engines faded away. Meanwhile, in mission control, things were bustling. Notes were flying from console to console, Kerbals were chattering back and forth about the situation of the spacecraft, and some guy was punching the broken coffee maker. “Stage 2 ignition. And can someone go out and get a new coffee maker?” - Gene Kerman Doohicky-1 in all its metallic glory! “We are GO for orbital insertion!” - Gene Kerman The world held its breath. If the stage didn’t have enough fuel, the mission would come hurtling back to Kerbin. “Orbit confirmed! Doohicky-1 is now in a stable Low Kerbin Orbit!” - Gene Kerman Cheers rang across mission control. For the first time ever, an artificial satellite hung above the skies of Kerbin! It was a historic day for Kerbalkind! Immediately, ground teams got to work on getting data back from the satellite. In the meantime, Kerbals sit and appreciate the new star in the night sky, moving faster than anything ever flew before. READ NEXT: Experts Now Believe the Sky May Not Be the Limit (pg. 3) | Government Dismisses Claims of Mysterious Radio Signals (pg. 7) | Satellite Watch: When Will Doohicky Pass Over YOUR Home? *** Yay! More excuses! I apologize for nothing be written in the last week, I'm just a bum. I will not lie and I will tell there will be another week of radio silence, but this time I have a good excuse. I'm flying down to Florida on Sunday, and since I'm a sane person I do not bring my laptop on vacations. I'm sure you understand. And if you don't, why?

Yes it does. Coming up with names is surprisingly difficult. It was either that or Dave.

We visited the Franklin Institute today. Checked out the Art of the Brick exhibit, and it’s pretty cool. Made this on the LEGO wall they had towards the end. If you live nearby or are in the area, check it out! Also, their new upgraded space exhibit it awesome! The upper floor has a whole display about space exploration and aerospace engineering which is very modern. I’d check that out too!

~KERBAL GAZETTE~ UKA ESTABLISHES SPACE PROGRAM! YEAR 1, DAY 1 - BEYOND IS ESTABLISHED! Seal and flag of Beyond Today, Head Administrator of the UKA Dwight Kerman has signed the Space Act! Kerbin has its very first dedicated space program! For about 4 years now, the UKA has been refurbishing the Kerbin Weather Bureau’s old Cape Kerman Launch Facility, now renamed to the Kerbal Space Center. This will be the center of all of Beyond’s operations. “This is the start of a new era!” said newly named director Kerbalsaurus Kerman. “I’m excited to see where the program goes.” The goals of Beyond are quite ambitious, but it appears that most Kerbals have faith in them. Their first planned mission? Launch Kerbin’s first artificial satellite. Most rockets have been transported from the old Dessert Launch site to the KSC, so Beyond believes they should be able to launch the satellite in the next 10 days! Exciting times are ahead for Kerbalkind! READ NEXT: Kimera Industries Releases Interesting Vending Machine (pg. 4) | It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s… Both? (pg. 7) | Kerbals Report Mystery Planes Flying in the Desert (pg. 10)