Kerbalsaurus

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I installed Firefly today, and did a little low-tech mission on my test save. Did not disappoint. As somebody on the KSP Discord said, I'm convinced that modders are actually wizards.

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Only AI would find a way to suck the soul out of something as innocent as a Kerbal.

This is a really good report! It’s hilarious, and I like how Glushko is some guardian shadow being, seemingly materializing when he’s most needed, and that you made a nod to Frank Malina and Jack Parsons. Two fathers of rocket science who often go unnoticed.

YEAR 1, DAY 98 - GETTING ON OUR NERVES It was a clear and unsuspecting day at Cape Kerman. Kerbol was high, scientists were milling about, and George Kerman, head of crew assignments, was watering at the mouth, staring at one of the freshest oranges he’d ever seen. But in the Kerbonaut Complex, the Kerbals there were anything but happy. Ever since Jeb and Val set foot on Cape Kerman, they were constantly bickering, always back-and-forth about who was a better pilot. “I was the first to almost every milestone in aviation history!” Jeb said. “All you did was what, fly a little bit above some clouds or something?” “Oh please, Jeb. You’re just jealous.” Val sassily replied. “You can’t deal with the fact that someone’s taken down your superiority complex.” “Oh, I have a superiority complex? That’s rich!” Jeb yelled back. The arguments were happening almost everyday, and the other three Kerbonauts were starting to get sick of it. One night, Bob, Bill, and Kathory plotted together on how they were going to deal with this situation. If they were going to go on missions in the future that would last days or even weeks, they didn’t want to spend their time in an inescapable pod commanded by children. The next morning, they banded together, and went marching to George’s office. “Finally, I’ve been waiting for you for a long time,” George said to the orange. Just as he pulled out his slicer, the three Kerbonauts busted down his door. “Hey, what’s up Georgie?” Kathy said in a faux-cheerful tone. “Oh, come on, can’t you all see I’m busy at the moment? If you came here to bribe me for a crew assignment, come back later tonight.” “We’re not here for an assignment. We’re here for someone else's,” Bob said demandingly. This type of courage was not very characteristic of him. “We are sick and tired of Jeb and Val constantly acting like children around the complex, and we’d like them to be put on a mission. Together.” At first a small quiver started to appear on George’s mouth, which slowly turned into a grin, which then exploded into laughter. “You really expect them to fly a mission together? I doubt I can get them in the same car together! They’d drive right into a tree!” “We want them to fly a training exercise on the Cougar,” Bill demanded. “ Just them, working together, Pilot to navigator. They’d act a lot better if their lives depended on their behavior.” “Or maybe they’d fight just as much in the air, crash a 1.7 billion dollar plane into the ocean, and cause Beyond to lose all faith and funding from Kongress. It’s not worth it. “Then we force them to behave,” Kathy said. “Pilots love money, and if you threaten to cut their pay, they might clean up their act.” “Hmm… can I have a second to think about this?” George asked rhetorically. They’re behavior around the space center has been rather annoying, he thought. Maybe these three dim-wits are onto something. Plus, if all else fails, I can cut all their paychecks. Less money for them, and more for me! “Alright you three, I’ve thought it over. Jeb and Val will fly a supersonic research mission together. BUT, if it fails, and they are uncooperative, it goes out of all of your paychecks. And into mine!” “You gotta deal!” Kathy said excitedly. “Now, will you three get out of my office so I can finally eat my orange in peace?!” George said, annoyed. The three Kerbonauts walked out of George’s office, excited that their grievances may soon come to an end. But in the back of their minds, they knew the chances of this working were very slim. It was quite an expensive gamble to bet their pay on two Kerbals they barely had any knowledge of. After all, they bet on the two most stubborn Kerbals on the planet.

Banned for forgetting about what Theo remembers.

Banned because I’m not saying it’s the end all be all of physics and physical laws, it’s the simply the most valid argument right now.

Banned because the theory of relativity has already been proven (in 1919). https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rsnr.2020.0040

Banned because faster than light travel is physically impossible.

Banned for not being a physical J made of ice.

The award for 2025’s laziest writer goes to… me! Yeah, little news on a new “chapter” to Beyond. I’ve started writing the next update, which will be a narrative one, but it honestly kind of sucks and I might delete it and start over. Most of my time has been taken up by schoolwork, Cities: Skylines, and a stupid noir short story I’m writing for fun. Not sure where I’d upload it though… anyways, update on the horizon at least, hopefully within the month. And feel free to bug me about it.

Congrats on TOTM @Eclipse 32!

Thank you!

No way, TOTM! Thank you! And congratulations to all of the winners!

The Tartigrades are so goofy looking, I love them.