Kragrathea

Yes, yes, we are all kinds of friends now. Good, good. So, how about we talk a little commerce? Sounds like you Kerbals are in the market for quite a variety of planets. So far on the menu for your particular universe we have the following: -Minmus class. Your basic bargain planet. We can give you these in bulk discounts. Cheap enough to do your own asteroid belt! I am afraid the base model only comes in grey/greygreen (as you have noticed). But we do offer a custom paint job as an extra. See Joker for a more... shall we say.. extreme example. -Gas Giants. High mass make these a pricey item. But a recent find has made gas cheap! 2 for one on sale now. -Tylo class. Vacuum moon. This is what you really want to put your base on! Isn't it? We have very affordable models ready to orbit your star! -Duna class. A real planet! Now you have arrived! Imagine custom terrain and a plush arid atmosphere to make aero braking and parachute descents a breeze. Named best in class by McPlanet. -Lathe class. Above + Oceans. Coming soon! (Once we sop up the ocean from our last go). Premium Extras: Suns. Not as pricey as you might think! -Single (any size!) -Simple Binary (bargain at half the price!) -Binary with Manilo center. (Mmmm) Prices? If you have to ask you cannot afford.

Ah! Hello Kerbals. I found the first post in this thread most fascinating, but I am afraid almost every post since has flown straight over my head. But no worries. I have forwarded on to the boffins and they will give me a summary... But It may interest you to know that we at Kragrathea have some expertize in this area! We use a similar technique as a method for simulating all the "important" bits of a barycenter. We call it a Manilo... where is that bloody video... Oh yes... Enjoy.

Mr Adams? Do you mean Gomez? We are somewhat behind due to your radio waves being so bloody slow. No, no relation, wrong species in fact. Although I suppose I have always identified with Fester. But then who hasn't...

Oh forgot to mention... mind wanders... what was it? Oh yes. Planet Aqua. Embarrassing really. Due to a mix up her ocean was installed before the atmosphere and they boiled off. Made a shocking mess. Heads rolled. The remains are being... repurposed. And that shot of (the now elusive)Heart of Gold was before her crust was installed. Shocking!

Smart Kerbals! You raise an interesting question. How far out should things be? We find our clients always appreciate a bit of a challenge. Using only your charming stock part collection, it would be desirable that the farthest be only reachable by the most resourceful. Ah but where is that? I have no idea. Nor does anyone on my worthless staff. I sacked several today for an appalling job on a crater on Krag. But I digress.... Here is what your "MechJeb" plugin tells me about how far things are. These are readings from a small probe we have in roughly the same orbit as your world. And if you want to click through to see it here is the so called crater. I swear I smelled blaster fuel on them, must have been drunk the sods.... http://i.imgur.com/9TtpJSg.jpg

Ah, I just got a translation of your Alcubierre drive. Ha, imagine that! Using them as a transportation device. Kerbals! We use them to demolish planets in inconvenient locations. Pulverize would be a better term. Then we sweep up the bits and make new planets out of the rubble. Part of the cycle of life you see...

Silly Kerbals. Always trying to find the most complicated solution. For a small additional cost we will supply you with two, that's TWO(!) new warp levels*. (time dilation effects sold separately). *Warning use as directed. May cause nausea, sneezing, seizures and/or random bits of your ship exploding.

I am sorry Kerbals. My cartography department tells me that a map is unworkable. Something about scale. I dont pay much attention when they get on... But I did get this from R&D. Its a brief tour of a proposed system arrangement. All planets and orbits subject to change of course. In particular Ares is currently in a temporary parking orbit (I occasionally take my work home) and has yet to be terraformed.

Ah, such happy Kerbals. Now that the unpleasant talk of jaws has subsided I can address a few questions. Release date. Yes! Yes Indeed! You will be very happy to know that we know the exact time your new planets will arrive down to the very millisecond. And I assure you we here at Kragrathea NEVER miss a date. The hyperspace time/date is exactly 1.2.8.16. You will be issued a hyperspace tracking number the moment we process your species payment. Map of the universe. Well, no. I am afraid the universe is somewhat beyond your compression. And it would be too big a file, more than a few stars out there you know. That said I might be able to bash together a local map, time permitting of course. Making your own planets? Oh, heavens no. You would blow yourselves to bits in no time. And why bother yourself? Leave the heavy lifting to Kragrathea. Mushroomman, too many questions my friend. I don't have the memory I did when I was your age. Here are answers to the ones I remember.Yes, probably, definitely not (I am offended you asked) and "What?". Duna close to kerbin? Ah I see how you could be confused. That isn't Kerbin nor is it Duna. Those are full scale cardboard stand-ins of your planets. We use them on our Fabulous Kragrathea Factory Floor when we are assembling planets. It is essential to consider the view of the other planets in the clients system when designing a planet. How else are we to get that perfect shade of atmosphere that compliments colors of the gas giant the planet will eventually orbit? When those shots were taken we were considering a blue planet/ruddy atmosphere pallet. Magnificent, isnt it? I assure you no detail is too small here at Kragrathea.

Ah! An observant Kerbal! You are correct, we have many prototypes on display. Alpha and Beta Juice are indeed graced to be stars (twins!). Serious is also a star. But far away, massive and lonely. Bit of a pain in the arse if you ask me.... There are two more probably not named in the video. Fred and Ginger. Delightful couple! They circle something we called a manilo.

Thank you for your question. And not throwing your jaw at me. As to how far out stars can be. Units are difficult between species. But in your terms its "As far as Texas is big". Or something. Thats what came out of the unit translator...

I am sorry... Have I reached the right system??... I expected a civilized client, not a species flinging jaw bones around. Have I dialed wrong? Oh dear....

Greetings Kerbals! Allow me to whet your appetite with some random development screenshots from our fabulous Kragrathea factory floor. Set to some of your planets tribal music.

<tap tap tap> Is this thing on?? <SqueeeeeeCH> ...em. Right then....

Alas. I had given it up as a bad job by the time I posted the 5th one. I thought it was so obvious someone would guess and that would be an end. You should have guessed again. No rule against. Sorry about the appalling riddle work. I do it as a hobby in my spare time. That and doing the fiddly bits around fjords. No, none of those are the name of the giant. And if you didn't care for the riddling you probably won't like the name.

Well the riddle thing went down with a thud. Here is the answer in the unlikely event anyone is still reading this thread. The answer to the riddle "What is my name" is "the Joker". A small rocky planet orbiting a gas giant around a new star named "Serious" far beyond Eloo. First post is paraphrasing sympathy for the devil by the Rolling Stones. The point is Joker (the planet) is considered a "devil" but you should see his point of view. POV being the image with a view of the sky featuring multiple suns. Second is a riddle about the planet/star joker orbits. Jokers ultimate parent (grandfather) is the star "Serious" (grave and intent) inspired by the best and brightest (Sirus is the brightest star in our sky). Third clue is "devil is in the details". Look at the images. There are two suns in the sky! Fourth: "I ask for your sympathy, to see my point of view." Emphasis added. Come on. Look at the images!!! Fifth. Joker would be the 53rd card in a deck. Colors of the Joker in comics are white,green,red, and purple. And for good measure a Batman movie quote: (Purple, oh! I love purple!). Finally an screen with THREE suns. You would think someone would have noticed that little detail. A reward was mentioned: -Pay attention and you will be rewarded -A small slice of immortality awaits the klever Kerbal. The reward was to be the right to name the next star or planet in the new Kerbal universe. There might be a consolation prize if someone can guess the name of the gas giant Joker orbits. Thanks for playing! I wish you had guessed my name.

Hmm. Apparently Kerbals aint that bright. Or perhaps not enough stuff is exploding to hold attention. Final clues: My number is three and fifty and my colors purple, red, green and white. Last chance to guess my name.

Nay, I am no Lucifer, and no hell spawn. But I ask for your sympathy, to see my point of view. Hope you guess my name.

But please don't call me Lucifer for that is not my name.

Perhaps what's puzzling you is in the nature of the game.

Actually I am surprised that wasn't the first guess. While technically correct, what I am looking for is the solution to the riddle I have posed. A small slice of immortality awaits the klever Kerbal. Hope you guess my name

A good guess. But wrong. As they say the devil is in the details. Pay attention and you will be rewarded beyond your dreams. Hope you guess my name.

Nope, not Siltskin. Thanks for playing. My grandfather true to his name is grave, intent and inspired by the best and brightest. My father is pure whimsey and inspired by the funniest. Once you name me you will know what inspires me. Hope you guess my name.

Greetings Kerbals! Please allow me to introduce myself I come from a planet of incredible wealth and exquisite taste. I have been around for many many years. But now my reputation is in waste. Can you guess my name? http://imgur.com/lyCm6T8

Greetings from Kragrathea! We are very happy to discover your charming green civilization.