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Make your own Conspiracy Theory!

Clockwork13

By Clockwork13
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NuclearNut

NuclearNut

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The conspiracy theorists are really just nuclear powered blood sucking lizardpeople from the planet flax'nar meant to distract us from the Illuminati masters who intend to use the alien space lasers from area 51 to activate HARPP thereby turning the chemtrails into zombification gas causing us all to be the perfect slaves for the reptilians!

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Flymetothemun

Flymetothemun

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Kerbal Space Program is actually a government-alien conspiracy to train spacecraft builders and scientists. Just hear me out on this:

JFK told everybody we would land on the moon in 10 years in '61. Apollo 11 landed on the moon in '69. It only took 8 years. This left 2 more years to go to the moon on the clock. In '71, the end of the time limit, Cigarette adverts were banned on American TV. Think about this, long things with fire and smoke coming out the end were banned. What does that sound like? This was the first action of the aliens.

But, you see, JFK was shot in '63, so as far as he knows we're still on Earth. But this has happened before. Assassinate the grand architect so that the corrupt overlords can take their place. It happened with Stalin killing Lenin, it happened with Brutus killing Caesar, and it happened with the second shooter on the grassy knoll killing JFK.

So, the long things with fire were banned and soon the plane with fire coming out the back and with a can full of fire attached to the underside came about. Those that are "in the know" call it a "Space Shuttle". The whole idea (that they tell us at least) was to reuse the shuttle. This is the second action of the aliens because how can you fit mind-control microbots onto a spacecraft if you don't know what you're working with?

So the mind control went on and on until 1994, when NASA decided to use the shuttle for RADAR mapping and NOAA used it for weather. This was the mind control actually working. The aliens needed to know what our planet looked like, they can't see it; they don't have eyes, so they need numbers so that they can hook their brains up to the mothership and have the mothership microwave the information into their brains. They also needed to know what conditions we would survive under, so that they could train us effectively.

1994 was also the year of the OJ trial. This was the third tetris block to fall into place. They needed to see what we would do if someone we dearly loved was called into question. They didn't know we were actually primal beings covered in a veneer of philosophy and morals.

So, this happens and transpires, and in 2006 OJ makes a TV special. In 2006 Russia cut the natural gas flow to Ukraine over pricing concerns. This was because the aliens wanted to make sure the dirty russian red commies had enough fuel to get their little boomsticks up in the air. And this is where it all falls into place.

Fast forward to 2011: A Mexican working at an ad agency. He goes to his boss and says: I want to make a game. And so it happens. The mind control has shifted over the jet stream and landed on this little sheep's wool. Probably inspired by the Russian rockets (look at all the explosions), the game gets made and is filled with all kinds of indoctrinatory things; It teaches you how to fly spacecraft. Not only this, it also teaches you how to build spacecraft. And it also teaches you how to do science in space and how to support the lives of LITTLE GREEN MEN. And so proves my point.

The aliens have trained us, indoctrinated us. We are all slaves of their machine. And if you buy my book, support my foundation, donate to my kickstarter for my death ray to kill aliens, like my facebook page, share my myspace link, spread this message to your friends and family, and sign my online petition, you can help stop this menace to the multiverse. And if you act within the next 15 minutes you get a free tote bag with a small nuclear device embedded in the lining; If you see an alien, just pull the red cord and the bag takes care of the rest. Don't worry, It's TSA and IAEA approved!

If you think I actually believe any of this, you're pretty stupid.

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Guest

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We are being controlled by people on computer screens...WE are KSP. It's the illuminati!!!!!!! I have evidence!!!!!!!!!!!! Why don't you open your eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, SpaceX is just a bunch of renderings.

They faked the New Horizons Pluto flyby. It's just sitting in a warehouse.

Kerbals do exist1

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