The Void UPDATE I'm done with this 1/4/17

[Atlas2342]

North Korea invading South? Or better yet, a World War III?

Edited March 4, 2016 by Atlas2342

[Spaceception]

7 hours ago, astrokerb said:

@Spaceception Your book is coming along nicely! The plot makes plenty of sense, the characters seem like they're likeable, and the science is realistic. 

Although, as a part-time political scientist, I must ask: are there any politics other than the Mexican Civil war? 

Thanks!

Don't worry, I'll put plenty of politics in (I.e. the first 2 chapters, and then occasionally on the ship )

Also, everyone, I have (I think) a really good idea to explain the Black Hole getting where it is

3 hours ago, Atlas2342 said:

North Korea invading South? Or better yet, a World War III?

Maybe, No, there will be tensions but, (Slight spoiler if you want this to be a surprise)

Spoiler

The public doesn't know about it until a decade or two 'til the Black Hole does its flyby.

 

Edited March 4, 2016 by Spaceception

[Spaceception]

UPDATE!!! Due to me losing over 7 hours getting to Cape Canaveral/Watching the Falcon 9 launch, I won't be finished with the 1st chapter today

[stellarator]

I have a few sugegstions (it could be late). Okey, your Orion Ship is pretty good, but... Could i suggest you another thing (maybe a private effort (the rich ones of the planet) to save themselves)? Take an asteroid (30 kilometers long, with from of tube is possible), and a few machines, designed to drill it. After some years (im aware of the blackhole, but its only 5-6 years) you will get a great cavity inside the asteroid (let at least two kilometers of walls on any side, they would protect you against radiation or hull breachs). Make a rotation force, so you would have gravity, and you can start to terraform the interior. By that way, you could send more peple and of course, more animals and plants, and nutrients (imagine that you arrive at the planet, and you found that there's no land, or the atmosphere isnt breathable, or something, you could survive on that system, mining the planets to supply your asteroid, or ussing other asteroids while you terraform). Add an orion pusher plate, and huge (really, huge) atomic bombs (while the ship is bigger, orion is more efficient). You will have a slow but safe way to travel to stars. Also, you could use the rock that you extracted from the asteroid as:

a) frontal protection against radiation or collisions. (also, as a heat shield to atmosphere reentry/aerobraking?)

b) fuel for a nuclear reactor based propulsion system (RCS) instead of hydrogen or water (that is more needed on the atmosphere of the ship).

c) building materials for houses etc inside the byome.

The basic concept of these habitats are used, for example, on Kim Stanley Robinsin's novel 2312. 

PS: have you started writting? I'd like to read that story.

[Spaceception]

3 minutes ago, stellarator said:

I have a few sugegstions (it could be late). Okey, your Orion Ship is pretty good, but... Could i suggest you another thing (maybe a private effort (the rich ones of the planet) to save themselves)? Take an asteroid (30 kilometers long, with from of tube is possible), and a few machines, designed to drill it. After some years (im aware of the blackhole, but its only 5-6 years) you will get a great cavity inside the asteroid (let at least two kilometers of walls on any side, they would protect you against radiation or hull breachs). Make a rotation force, so you would have gravity, and you can start to terraform the interior. By that way, you could send more peple and of course, more animals and plants, and nutrients (imagine that you arrive at the planet, and you found that there's no land, or the atmosphere isnt breathable, or something, you could survive on that system, mining the planets to supply your asteroid, or ussing other asteroids while you terraform). Add an orion pusher plate, and huge (really, huge) atomic bombs (while the ship is bigger, orion is more efficient). You will have a slow but safe way to travel to stars. Also, you could use the rock that you extracted from the asteroid as:

a) frontal protection against radiation or collisions. (also, as a heat shield to atmosphere reentry/aerobraking?)

b) fuel for a nuclear reactor based propulsion system (RCS) instead of hydrogen or water (that is more needed on the atmosphere of the ship).

c) building materials for houses etc inside the byome.

The basic concept of these habitats are used, for example, on Kim Stanley Robinsin's novel 2312. 

PS: have you started writting? I'd like to read that story.

I'm not using the Orion anymore, it's the Bussard ramjet, I've also already designed the spacecraft, but thank you for the design, it's really good. But your design strongly reminds me of an original Star Trek episode "For the world is hollow, and I have touched the sky"

Yeah, I'm almost halfway done with the first chapter, then I'll be PMing three people for proofreading/grammar mistakes, after that, it'll be on this thread

Btw, I've read your thread for your Sci-fi story, it's pretty interesting

[stellarator]

11 minutes ago, Spaceception said:

I'm not using the Orion anymore, it's the Bussard ramjet, I've also already designed the spacecraft, but thank you for the design, it's really good. But your design strongly reminds me of an original Star Trek episode "For the world is hollow, and I have touched the sky"

Yeah, I'm almost halfway done with the first chapter, then I'll be PMing three people for proofreading/grammar mistakes, after that, it'll be on this thread

Btw, I've read your thread for your Sci-fi story, it's pretty interesting

Thank you, i suggest you to publish your book on that social web (wattpad), not in my country, but in America it has many users, and it could be popular quickly

[Spaceception]

2 minutes ago, stellarator said:

Thank you, i suggest you to publish your book on that social web (wattpad), not in my country, but in America it has many users, and it could be popular quickly

I already made an account, Btw, how long does it take for the E-mail to send? I've sent and re-sent it at least 12 times now.

[Findthepin1]

You can publish it on the Kindle. See here. I was gonna do this when I started writing a book about a year ago (I gave up because I couldn't elaborate much), that's how I know this. You need an Amazon account, though.

[Spaceception]

4 minutes ago, Findthepin1 said:

You can publish it on the Kindle. See here. I was gonna do this when I started writing a book about a year ago (I gave up because I couldn't elaborate much), that's how I know this. You need an Amazon account, though.

Yeah, I was thinking of thinking of putting it there

[Spaceception]

Alright, I've decided to call it "The Void"

As said in the update above, I am behind schedule, luckily, I was able to get a few pages finished, and I am more than halfway through.

Also, for anyone who would like the support it Here, can

Edited March 5, 2016 by Spaceception

[Spaceception]

Update!

I've finished the first chapter, and after it goes through the proofreading process, it'll be up here, so likely by tomorrow around or before noon

[Spaceception]

Update!!

The chapter is finally finished, and will be going through a proofreading process shortly, after that, it will be here, so keep a lookout

[Atlas2342]

7 hours ago, Spaceception said:

 

Chapter 1; The Discovery

Robert Baker was in his mid-forties with graying brown hair and a slightly lined face. He graduated from the U of Hawaii with a master's in astronomy, and got a job at a local observatory where he and his team studied pulsars, neutron stars, quasars, and black holes. His team of 27 people mainly cataloged newly discovered objects, but they sometimes looked for the objects themselves. Robert was also looked at as one of the most influential people in the state, as he and his team were some of the best in Hawaii.

 

Ring, Ring, Ring, Ri-

"What?" Asked Robert Baker, tiredly.

"Hello Professor Baker, I know you're sleeping, but I need you to come to the observatory immediately."

Robert sighed. "Jack, it's 2:30 pm, I'm not supposed to be there until 7:40 pm, then I said I'll look at your data."

"Yeah," Jack began, "Well, we've just been refining the simulations we've been working on, and we need you to com here now."

"Alright Jack, I'll be there in half an hour," Robert responded. He sighed. "Honey, I'm going to be heading out early!" he called.

"Okay!" His wife Mary called back.

Robert got out of bed, put on his pants and a shirt, put on his shoes, and walked downstairs to kiss his wife goodbye, then he walked outside to his car, got in and drove towards the observatory.

Robert was nearing the observatory now, and a few minutes later, he was there. He pulled into the parking lot, got out of his car, and walked towards the building that housed the offices and the supercomputer. The moment Robert walked through the door, he was greeted by Jack, practically waiting right by the door for him.

"Hey Jack, what's so important you have to wake me up?" Asked Robert.

"Well, we found something strange a few thousand AU from the Solar System," Jack responded. "Gravitational disturbances," he added.

"Gravitational disturbances? Like wormholes?" Asked Robert, interested.

"No," started Jack, "Like a black hole!" he said. "Headed for the solar system." Robert's jaw dropped.

"Wait, did I hear that right? A black hole?" he asked, with a shaking voice.

"Yes, a black hole, currently it's 3200 AU away from Earth, traveling at almost 300 kps, but in 44 years, it will be within the orbit of Eris," Said Jack.

"And how big is this black hole?" Robert asked.

Jack sighed and said "One hundred times the mass of the Sun."

"Wait, what!?" The building immediately went silent. "It's alright everyone," Robert said to them.

"You heard me," said Jack, "In 7 years, the Earth will go into an ice age, and in 29, the Earth will be pulled into an orbit closer than Venus, and more elliptical than Mercury, raising its temperature past the boiling point." Robert noticed a hint of fear in his voice.

"Take me to the room you guys have been simulating. I want to see if it's just a bug in the system. If there is a black hole a hundred times the mass of the Sun, how in God's name did we miss it?" asked Robert, with a clear urgency.

"It seemed to have come into existence 8 hours ago," Jack responded.

"Okay then, let's go to the simulation room," Robert said. Jack nodded and led him down to the room the team had been using. When they walked in, there were 22 people in the room pouring over data sheets and computer screens, and there were a few coffee pots as well. The room was medium sized. One of the team members, George, walked over to Robert to him to give him some of the latest news.

"We've been getting some more data, and we now know that the radiation from the black hole will sterilize life on Earth in 36 years, and shortly after that Earth gets closer to the Sun, and the Moon will collide with Earth, turning it into a worse hell than Venus." George sighed and went back to work.

"Alright everyone, here's what we're going to do, I want all of you to check and re-check every piece of data you've got. And every time, check for bugs in the system to make sure it isn't a really bad glitch, okay? Good, now let’s get to work," Robert said.

"We're gonna need more coffee," muttered Mara, one of the programmers. She grabbed 3 empty coffee pots and walked out to fill them, and returned shortly after with a few full pots of coffee. After that, she returned to work. For 3 weeks they worked tirelessly, looking at telescope data, re-doing simulations, over and over again, sometimes they were doing 36 hour shifts. Finally, they accepted the fact that a black hole was heading towards the Solar System.

Robert rubbed his eyes, and tiredly said "Get me on the next flight to D.C."

"What are you doing?” asked Mara.

"I need to talk to the president," Robert said.

He sighed, got up, and walked out the door. At this point, everyone knew what Robert and his team were doing. One astronomer walked over to him and asked, "Is there any news?" As soon as she asked, the hall suddenly went silent, save for the whirring of computers.

"Yes, we have confirmed that a black hole is in fact heading towards the Solar System, arriving in 44 years," Robert said.

There was a shocked silence for at least 6 minutes. So silent, in fact, that they were deaf to the computer sounds and pretty much any other noise in the area. This continued until the same astronomer, who asked Robert the earlier question, asked shakily, "Wh-what will happen to humanity?"

Robert took a deep breath and said, “In seven years, the Earth will go into another ice age. Twenty nine years after that, the radiation of the black hole will begin to wipe out life on Earth. And seven years after that, the Earth will be pulled into a closer orbit than Venus. There's also a good chance that the moon will collide with the Earth."

After that, the hall seemed more quiet than before, except now, everyone who had been in the hall had their mouths wide open in shock. Robert then walked down the hall and out the door to get some fresh air, and took deep breaths to calm himself. For 10 minutes, he stood there with his eyes closed before opening them and walking back inside, where he was greeted by the head of the observatory, Amy Summers.

"Please, please, please tell me this isn't just some really bad joke," she said almost pleadingly.

"It's not a joke Amy, there really is a black hole heading towards us. We've been observing it for 3 weeks now, and the only thing that has changed is its distance."

Amy grabbed her hair with her hand, and pointed at Robert with a shaking finger, "You need to talk to the President about this.”

"I know," said Robert, "I'll be going out soon."

"Go now!" Amy said, "We can't waste any time." Robert nodded and walked back out the door, towards his car.

Half an hour later, he was at home. He got out of his car and walked inside. Without so much as saying hello to his wife, Robert walked upstairs. He grabbed a small suitcase, and started pilling clothes in it. His wife walked upstairs, and stood at the doorway, looking at her husband sympathetically.

"Where are you going now?" she asked.

"D.C." Robert said.

"Why?" She asked, this time almost demanding.

"I need to talk to the President," he said bluntly. Robert’s wife stood at the doorway, shocked, while Robert closed his suitcase, kissed her, walked downstairs, went outside to his car, and pulled out of the driveway. He began to head towards the airport, one and a half hours later, he was boarding a plane to D.C.

10 hours later

Robert stepped out of the plane, stretching his tired legs. He walked over to the lane of the self-driving taxis, put $50 in, and then it drove itself to the White House. 37 minutes later, the car pulled into the White House gate.

"Do you have an appointment with the President, professor?" asked the security guard, after he scanned his retina.

"No," said Robert, “but I need to talk to him urgently.”

"No appointment, no President," said the security guard.

"Look, there's a black hole heading our way, and in 44 years, it will fly past the Solar System, killing all life on Earth, including us," said Robert desperately.

The security guard looked blank for a few seconds, and then he said, "Christ almighty, why didn't you start with that?" He pulled out a walkie-talkie and said, "Professor Baker would like to speak with the President, no appointment needed."  Then he lifted the gate for him. Robert sat down as the taxi pulled him towards the entrance of the White House. Robert stepped out of the taxi when it stopped, and it parked itself a few feet away. When he opened the door to the White House, a woman was walking towards him.

She said, "Hello, my name is Ashley Johnson, and I am the President's secretary." She held out her hand, and Robert shook it. "Alright, right this way." she said. Robert followed her through a hallway, towards the Oval Office. Robert looked at all of the pictures of presidents that lined the walls, while his heart was beating like a drum, and he thought about how all of that history would be destroyed. A moment later, they were in front of the Oval Office, and Mrs. Johnson knocked on the door.

"Who's there?" asked the President.

"Professor Robert Baker, he would like to speak with you, Mr. President."

"Come in," he said. Mrs. Johnson opened the door, and Robert saw that the President and Vice President had been talking.

"Mr. Anderson, would you mind leaving me and Professor Baker alone to talk?" asked the President.

"Certainly," said Mr. Anderson, and he walked out the door.

"Well, I'll leave you two to talk," said Mrs. Johnson, and she shut the door.

"Hello Professor. And please, call me Alex," Alex said as he offered his hand. Robert shook it.

"So what's this 'news' you need to tell me?"

"Okay, Mr. Pre- Alex, I have something to tell you, and it's not good." Robert took a deep breath, and said, "Over 3 weeks ago, my team found a black hole outside of our Solar System. We don't know how it got there, as it seemed to have popped into existence around the same time."

"Please, take a seat," said Alex. The President walked over to the back of the desk, and sat on his chair, while Robert sat opposite to him in a smaller armchair. "Tell me what's going to happen to Earth," said Alex.

Robert nodded and said, "In seven years, the Earth will go into an ice age, twenty nine years after that, the radiation will begin to kill life on Earth, and seven years after that, the Earth will be pulled into an orbit closer than Venus', raising the temperature beyond the boiling point. Not only that, but the Moon is likely to collide with Earth as well. In other words, all life on Earth will become extinct." Alex took a few moments absorbing what he had just heard, and finally spoke after a few minutes.

"What can we do?"

"We have two options," said Robert. “We can sit here and die out, or, we can leave the Solar System and look for a new home."

Alex asked, "Is there nowhere in the solar system we could escape to?"

Robert replied, "No. Mars' orbit will technically be in the habitable zone after all this happens, but its orbit will be too elliptical to be useful."

Alex nodded and said, "Out of the solar system it is. How many could we take?"

"Ideally, we'd want a crew of 20,000, but I reckon we could work with 200." Alex nodded again, and sat there for a couple minutes thinking. Then he tapped a touchscreen next to him.

"Yes Mr. President?" asked Mrs. Johnson.

"Get me a conference call with the leaders of the UK, Canada, China, Japan, and the heads of their respective space agencies."

"Okay, what should I tell them?" she asked.

"Tell them the future of humanity is at stake," said Alex.

"Oh-Okay," said Mrs. Johnson. "Calling them now."

Alex stood up, and gestured for Robert to follow him. He opened up the door, and walked to the cabinet room. There they took a chair, and waited for the 10 screens to light up. That took half an hour. After all the screens were lit, Alex stood up and introduced them to Robert, and then he asked, "Robert, could you tell them what you told me?"

"Certainly," Robert said. And he repeated what he told the president. After he finished, all eyes were on the space agency heads.

"Alright Professor, you may leave now. Thank you for telling us this," said Alex as he gestured him towards the door. Robert nodded and walked out of the room. The door closed as Alex pressed a button on his cuff, and he spoke into it saying, "Mrs. Johnson, please escort Robert out of the White House, thank you."

Alex then turned to the 10 screens, "Alright, now you know how the world will end. The next question is: How do we save humanity from going extinct?"

The head of ESA spoke up, "Obviously, we need to build a starship. I propose we use Project Orion. It uses nuclear pulse propulsion."

"What's that?" asked Alex.

"Nuclear pulse propulsion works by detonating nuclear bombs at the back of the ship to produce thrust. With that setup, we could reach 5% of the speed of light, and slow down," said the head of the ESA.

"Uh, how about no. I don't care if it's the end of the world, we're not going to put the last of humanity on a bunch of bombs," Alex replied.

"Okay then," said the head of NASA, Bill Connors. "What about laser sails? You have a massive, very thin sail. It basically uses light from highly concentrated lasers to get it up to speed. With that design, you could get to 10% of the speed of light. The only problem is really just slowing down, but seeing as how we could use the solar wind of the target stat, that shouldn't be a big problem."

"And how big would this sail have to be?" asked the prime minister of Russia.

"Quite literally the size of Texas, or, an almost 1100 kilometers wide circle," said Bill.

"That's not doable in the slightest sense," said the prime minister of Canada.

"Okay," said Bill. "What about a Bussard ramjet? That works by having a laser to ionize the interstellar medium, and a magnetic field that scoops hydrogen from interstellar space, and fuses it to make power and thrust. That would be limited to about 12% of the speed of light."

"And how big would that have to be?" asked Alex.

"160 km, but, it would effectively be mass-less, since it’s a magnetic field, with an emitter and a laser to allow it to work. It also needs the other aspects of a space craft, too." Almost everyone but Alex was nodding in approval.

"This is great and all, but have you all forgotten that the longest a fusion reactor has ever been active is 5 months? So how long does this need to work?" asked Alex.

"Forty years minimum, 80-150 years realistically," answered Bill. "However, the engine only needs to be turned on 4 times. Once for the acceleration, which would only take about a month. Second, for slowing down into orbit around the target star. Third, to speed up slightly towards the target planet. And forth, to enter orbit around the target planet. The rest of the time we could use conventional nuclear fission reactors."

"Okay, I guess I can live with that," said Alex. "But what about crew? When Robert and I were talking, he said ideally we'd want 20,000 for genetic diversity, but said we could work with 200."

The head of CNSA spoke up this time, "No, 200 is too low, but I don't think we could build a ship large enough to hold 20,000, but we could work with 1,000. That would be my minimum."

The head of JAXA spoke up this time, "What are we going to put them in? Microgravity isn't the best place to put astronauts in, fun, yes, but in the span of 40-150 years, their bones will become thin and brittle, and when they get to the planet, their bones will break, so what habitat do we want them in? Doughnut shaped, or cylinder shaped?" The debate reigned on for over half an hour, until they settled for a doughnut centrifuge spacecraft capable of holding 3,500 people, it would be 600 meters across, and provide 0.77 gees of gravity.

"This is all well and good, but where are we going to go?" asked the head of Roscosmos.

Bill answered, "The closest star with planets is Proxima Centauri, 4.2 light years away, making the trip 40 years. It has 3 planets. Unfortunately, they're too cold to support human life. after that, it's Alpha Centauri a. That star only has 2 hot gas giants. Next is Alpha Centauri b, which has 4 planets, but they're all hot deserts. After that it's Lalande 21185, which has 6 planets, 2 in the habitable zone, all rocky, but the star is 8.3 light years away, making the trip 79 years. After that, there's Epsilon Indi. That star has 3 planets, all gas giants. Two of them are ice giants, and are too cold, but one, larger than Jupiter, is in the habitable zone, however, it's not known to have Earthlike moons, but evidence from JWST suggests that it does. Unfortunately its distance of 11 light years would make the trip last 110 years. On the bright side, however, the star is Sun-like, meaning the sky could be blue, and the views would be excellent. We could also imagine there being several Earthlike moons orbiting it if the gas giant accumulated enough material."

And so, the argument began. It was split into 4 parties. The first wanted to take the easy way, and go to Proxima. As they said, the star has a cold desert planet, which would be useful for a self sustaining base, and a couple of icy planets, which would be useful for just about everything, water, air, plants, fuel cells, fusion, etc. The second wanted to go to Lalande 21185, arguing that the 6 planet system with two potential worlds that could be easily colonized would be best for the crew. The 3rd group wanted to wait and go to Epsilon Indi, saying we should prioritize a Sun-like star over anything else. Plus the gas giant would be useful for protecting any moons from lethal radiation. The 4th wanted to keep looking for planets, saying there could be better options for humanity. After over an hour of arguing, they decided to take a vote, the most popular vote went to Lalande 21185, and that was settled as the target. After that, they had to decide how to build and fund it. Funding was easy, as they all decided to put 30% of their national budgets to space exploration, and to put all of it to the starship. Figuring out how to build it was harder, but after half an hour of discussion, they decided to have NASA and JAXA build the propulsion system, the ESA and CSA building the habitat (As well as having all private companies who built spacecraft assist them), and CNSA and Roscosmos will build the shuttles. On the question of how the citizens would react they decided to declare martial law over their citizens, and practically make their countries dictatorships.

     3 days later

The entire world was in frenzy, after their leaders declared almost absolute power over them. Protesting reached an all time high, and economies were starting to get damage. The UN wondered how they were going to keep the peace for the next 36 years...                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

Okay Everyone, tell me what you think

Fixed a bunch of errors...

[Spaceception]

3 hours ago, Atlas2342 said:

Fixed a bunch of errors...

Thanks

How many was a 'Bunch' ?

[Spaceception]

The next chapter will be called "The Training Academy"

[Atlas2342]

1 hour ago, Spaceception said:

Thanks

How many was a 'Bunch' ?

Ah, well you know, 8-10 errors, I guess.....Also, I think the small numbers, such as whole numbers smaller than ten, should be spelled out, at least from what I've learned....

Edited March 8, 2016 by Atlas2342

[KSK]

Hi Spaceception,

I just found this story - hope you don't mind me dropping by with a couple of comments.

Firstly - interesting start with a lot of potential for a really gripping story. A double race against time to build the evacuation ship before the black hole hits or, perhaps more importantly, before the world descends into anarchy - great premise.

A couple of thoughts going forward. I appreciate that you're just setting the scene for the main story but it does feel a bit quick. In particular, the characters seem to have accepted their fate - and then found a solution to it - awfully fast.

"OK guys. We're gonna declare global martial law. Then we're gonna build ourselves a giant experimental starship. Everyone cool with that? Everyone? Right - let's get on with it." 

I'm all for pragmatism over excess melodrama but a bit more surprise from some of your characters would have been good. That security guard might have been a bit more skeptical for example.  

Also - and you've probably heard this umpteen times before, but try to show not tell. Take this part for example:

"You heard me," said Jack, "In 7 years, the Earth will go into an ice age, and in 29, the Earth will be pulled into an orbit closer than Venus, and more elliptical than Mercury, raising its temperature past the boiling point." 

Rather than just having Jack reel off the bad news, I might have had him demonstrate the problem to Robert on one of the simulation room computers and described Robert watching the unfolding simulation and his reactions to it. That would also allow for a bit more description of how the black hole is going to cause all those effects - I know that I'm not quite getting it, even after reading that chapter a couple of times.

Next - your story, your rules. Feel free to ignore any of the above comments if they don't work for you or the way you want to write your story.

Finally - and most importantly - good luck and have fun with your writing! Stick with it and don't be too worried about getting everything right first time. I know I've re-read parts of my own writing and what I thought was really cool at the time is... less cool in hindsight. That's OK - I'm still learning, my writing is getting better (I hope!) and I can always go back and fix the flaky bits later.

Edited March 8, 2016 by KSK

[Spaceception]

1 hour ago, KSK said:

Hi Spaceception,

I just found this story - hope you don't mind me dropping by with a couple of comments.

Firstly - interesting start with a lot of potential for a really gripping story. A double race against time to build the evacuation ship before the black hole hits or, perhaps more importantly, before the world descends into anarchy - great premise.

A couple of thoughts going forward. I appreciate that you're just setting the scene for the main story but it does feel a bit quick. In particular, the characters seem to have accepted their fate - and then found a solution to it - awfully fast.

"OK guys. We're gonna declare global martial law. Then we're gonna build ourselves a giant experimental starship. Everyone cool with that? Everyone? Right - let's get on with it." 

I'm all for pragmatism over excess melodrama but a bit more surprise from some of your characters would have been good. That security guard might have been a bit more skeptical for example.  

Also - and you've probably heard this umpteen times before, but try to show not tell. Take this part for example:

"You heard me," said Jack, "In 7 years, the Earth will go into an ice age, and in 29, the Earth will be pulled into an orbit closer than Venus, and more elliptical than Mercury, raising its temperature past the boiling point." 

Rather than just having Jack reel off the bad news, I might have had him demonstrate the problem to Robert on one of the simulation room computers and described Robert watching the unfolding simulation and his reactions to it. That would also allow for a bit more description of how the black hole is going to cause all those effects - I know that I'm not quite getting it, even after reading that chapter a couple of times.

Next - your story, your rules. Feel free to ignore any of the above comments if they don't work for you or the way you want to write your story.

Finally - and most importantly - good luck and have fun with your writing! Stick with it and don't be too worried about getting everything right first time. I know I've re-read parts of my own writing and what I thought was really cool at the time is... less cool in hindsight. That's OK - I'm still learning, my writing is getting better (I hope!) and I can always go back and fix the flaky bits later.

Thanks

Yeah, I didn't want to drudge up stuff and have a really slow start, I wanted to finish that chapter, and get on to the more important stuff, although, when I (Likely, maybe) publish it to kindle, I'll add more.

In hindsight, I should've made the Security guard part a bit longer (), but again see above   

Okay, good points, you know, I think I'll just edit it and add some more, not necessarily more to the beginning, but to the security guard/black hole discovery. I'll add more later.

I will, I had the same thing happen

 

Side note, "First flight" is really good.

 

[KSK]

Thanks!

One last quick comment. If you haven't already found it, this thread might be worth checking out:

As you'd expect it's mainly focused on KSP fiction but there are some properly good writers on it and I'm sure they'd be happy to help out if you ever wanted some more feedback on The Void. Sorry about the long winded link - the forum editor isn't playing nicely with my tablet.

[Spaceception]

4 hours ago, KSK said:

Thanks!

One last quick comment. If you haven't already found it, this thread might be worth checking out:

As you'd expect it's mainly focused on KSP fiction but there are some properly good writers on it and I'm sure they'd be happy to help out if you ever wanted some more feedback on The Void. Sorry about the long winded link - the forum editor isn't playing nicely with my tablet.

Thanks!

[legoclone09]

Loved the first chapter, can't wait for the next!

[Spaceception]

1 hour ago, legoclone09 said:

Loved the first chapter, can't wait for the next!

Thanks!

Well, it'll be 10 pages longer so.... it'll take awhile to finish, but hopefully I can get it done before the end of the month and begin the 3rd chapter before April.

At least I've finished 3 pages so far

And @KSK I added a couple parts to the areas you suggested I do

Edited March 9, 2016 by Spaceception

[Spaceception]

Update!

I've laid out the rough ground work for each of the 14 chapters, this is what they'll (Roughly) be;

The second chapter will easily be the longest (You know what it's called, so you know exactly why).

The second to last chapter will be the second longest (For good reason )

The last chapter will be the shortest (Don't open if you want a surprise)

Spoiler

Because it explains how the black hole got where it was in the first place.

If you opened it and not sure why it's a surprise, you'll find out

Edited March 10, 2016 by Spaceception

[Atlas2342]

Chapter 1; The Discovery

Robert Baker was in his mid-forties with graying brown hair and a slightly lined face. He graduated from the U of Hawaii with a master's in astronomy, and got a job at a local observatory where he and his team studied pulsars, neutron stars, quasars, and black holes. His team of 27 people mainly cataloged newly discovered objects, but they sometimes looked for the objects themselves. Robert was also looked at as one of the most influential people in the state, as he and his team were some of the best in Hawaii.

 

Ring, Ring, Ring, Ri-

"What?" Asked Robert Baker, tiredly.

"Hello Professor Baker, I know you're sleeping, but I need you to come to the observatory immediately."

Robert sighed. "Jack, it's 2:30 pm, I'm not supposed to be there until 7:40 pm, then I said I'll look at your data."

"Yeah," Jack began, "Well, we've just been refining the simulations we've been working on, and we need you to com here now."

"Alright Jack, I'll be there in half an hour," Robert responded. He sighed. "Honey, I'm going to be heading out early!" he called.

"Okay!" His wife Mary called back.

Robert got out of bed, put on his pants and a shirt, put on his shoes, and walked downstairs to kiss his wife goodbye, then he walked outside to his car, got in and drove towards the observatory.

Robert was nearing the observatory now, and a few minutes later, he was there. He pulled into the parking lot, got out of his car, and walked towards the building that housed the offices and the supercomputer. The moment Robert walked through the door, he was greeted by Jack, practically waiting right by the door for him.

"Hey Jack, what's so important you have to wake me up?" Asked Robert.

"Well, we found something strange a few thousand AU from the Solar System," Jack responded. "Gravitational disturbances," he added.

"Gravitational disturbances? Like wormholes?" Asked Robert, interested.

"No," started Jack, "Like a black hole!" he said. "Headed for the solar system." Robert's jaw dropped.

"Wait, did I hear that right? A black hole?" he asked, with a shaking voice.

"Yes, a black hole, currently it's 3200 AU away from Earth, traveling at almost 300 kps, but in 44 years, it will be within the orbit of Eris," Said Jack.

"And how big is this black hole?" Robert asked.

Jack sighed and said "One hundred times the mass of the Sun."

"Wait, what!?" The building immediately went silent. "It's alright everyone," Robert said to them.

"You heard me," said Jack, "In seven years, the Earth will go into an ice age, and in 29, the Earth will be pulled into an orbit closer than Venus, and more elliptical than Mercury, raising its temperature past the boiling point." Robert noticed a hint of fear in his voice.

"Take me to the room you guys have been simulating. I want to see if it's just a bug in the system. If there is a black hole a hundred times the mass of the Sun, how in God's name did we miss it?" asked Robert, with a clear urgency.

"It seemed to have come into existence 8 hours ago," Jack responded.

"Okay then, let's go to the simulation room," Robert said. Jack nodded and led him down to the room the team had been using. When they walked in, there were 22 people in the room pouring over data sheets and computer screens, and there were a few coffee pots as well. The room was medium sized. One of the team members, George, walked over to Robert to him to give him some of the latest news.

"We've been getting some more data, and we now know that the radiation from the black hole will sterilize life on Earth in 36 years, and shortly after that Earth gets closer to the Sun, and the Moon will collide with Earth, turning it into a worse hell than Venus." George sighed and went back to work.

"Alright everyone, here's what we're going to do, I want all of you to check and re-check every piece of data you've got. And every time, check for bugs in the system to make sure it isn't a really bad glitch, okay? Good, now let’s get to work," Robert said.

"We're gonna need more coffee," muttered Mara, one of the programmers. She grabbed three empty coffee pots and walked out to fill them, and returned shortly after with a few full pots of coffee. After that, she returned to work. For three weeks they worked tirelessly, looking at telescope data, re-doing simulations, over and over again, sometimes they were doing 36 hour shifts. Finally, they accepted the fact that a black hole was heading towards the Solar System.

Robert rubbed his eyes, and tiredly said "Get me on the next flight to D.C."

"What are you doing?” asked Mara.

"I need to talk to the president," Robert said.

He sighed, got up, and walked out the door. At this point, everyone knew what Robert and his team were doing. One astronomer walked over to him and asked, "Is there any news?" As soon as she asked, the hall suddenly went silent, save for the whirring of computers.

"Yes, we have confirmed that a black hole is in fact heading towards the Solar System, arriving in 44 years," Robert said.

There was a shocked silence for at least six minutes. So silent, in fact, that they were deaf to the computer sounds and pretty much any other noise in the area. This continued until the same astronomer, who asked Robert the earlier question, asked shakily, "Wh-what will happen to humanity?"

Robert took a deep breath and said, “In seven years, the Earth will go into another ice age. Twenty nine years after that, the radiation of the black hole will begin to wipe out life on Earth. And seven years after that, the Earth will be pulled into a closer orbit than Venus. There's also a good chance that the moon will collide with the Earth."

After that, the hall seemed more quiet than before, except now, everyone who had been in the hall had their mouths wide open in shock. Robert then walked down the hall and out the door to get some fresh air, and took deep breaths to calm himself. For 10 minutes, he stood there with his eyes closed before opening them and walking back inside, where he was greeted by the head of the observatory, Amy Summers.

"Please, please, please tell me this isn't just some really bad joke," she said almost pleadingly.

"It's not a joke Amy, there really is a black hole heading towards us. We've been observing it for three weeks now, and the only thing that has changed is its distance."

Amy grabbed her hair with her hand, and pointed at Robert with a shaking finger, "You need to talk to the President about this.”

"I know," said Robert, "I'll be going out soon."

"Go now!" Amy said, "We can't waste any time." Robert nodded and walked back out the door, towards his car.

Half an hour later, he was at home. He got out of his car and walked inside. Without so much as saying hello to his wife, Robert walked upstairs. He grabbed a small suitcase, and started pilling clothes in it. His wife walked upstairs, and stood at the doorway, looking at her husband sympathetically.

"Where are you going now?" she asked.

"D.C." Robert said.

"Why?" She asked, this time almost demanding.

"I need to talk to the President," he said bluntly. Robert’s wife stood at the doorway, shocked, while Robert closed his suitcase, kissed her, walked downstairs, went outside to his car, and pulled out of the driveway. He began to head towards the airport, one and a half hours later, he was boarding a plane to D.C.

10 hours later

Robert stepped out of the plane, stretching his tired legs. He walked over to the lane of the self-driving taxis, put $50 in, and then it drove itself to the White House. 37 minutes later, the car pulled into the White House gate.

"Do you have an appointment with the President, professor?" asked the security guard, after he scanned his retina.

"No," said Robert, “but I need to talk to him urgently.”

"No appointment, no President," said the security guard.

"Look, there's a black hole heading our way, and in 44 years, it will fly past the Solar System, killing all life on Earth, including us," said Robert desperately.

The security guard looked blank for a few seconds, and then he said, "Christ almighty, why didn't you start with that?" He pulled out a walkie-talkie and said, "Professor Baker would like to speak with the President, no appointment needed."  Then he lifted the gate for him. Robert sat down as the taxi pulled him towards the entrance of the White House. Robert stepped out of the taxi when it stopped, and it parked itself a few feet away. When he opened the door to the White House, a woman was walking towards him.

She said, "Hello, my name is Ashley Johnson, and I am the President's secretary." She held out her hand, and Robert shook it. "Alright, right this way." she said. Robert followed her through a hallway, towards the Oval Office. Robert looked at all of the pictures of presidents that lined the walls, while his heart was beating like a drum, and he thought about how all of that history would be destroyed. A moment later, they were in front of the Oval Office, and Mrs. Johnson knocked on the door.

"Who's there?" asked the President.

"Professor Robert Baker, he would like to speak with you, Mr. President."

"Come in," he said. Mrs. Johnson opened the door, and Robert saw that the President and Vice President had been talking.

"Mr. Anderson, would you mind leaving me and Professor Baker alone to talk?" asked the President.

"Certainly," said Mr. Anderson, and he walked out the door.

"Well, I'll leave you two to talk," said Mrs. Johnson, and she shut the door.

"Hello Professor. And please, call me Alex," Alex said as he offered his hand. Robert shook it.

"So what's this 'news' you need to tell me?"

"Okay, Mr. Pre- Alex, I have something to tell you, and it's not good." Robert took a deep breath, and said, "Over three weeks ago, my team found a black hole outside of our Solar System. We don't know how it got there, as it seemed to have popped into existence around the same time."

"Please, take a seat," said Alex. The President walked over to the back of the desk, and sat on his chair, while Robert sat opposite to him in a smaller armchair. "Tell me what's going to happen to Earth," said Alex.

Robert nodded and said, "In seven years, the Earth will go into an ice age, twenty nine years after that, the radiation will begin to kill life on Earth, and seven years after that, the Earth will be pulled into an orbit closer than Venus', raising the temperature beyond the boiling point. Not only that, but the Moon is likely to collide with Earth as well. In other words, all life on Earth will become extinct." Alex took a few moments absorbing what he had just heard, and finally spoke after a few minutes.

"What can we do?"

"We have two options," said Robert. “We can sit here and die out, or, we can leave the Solar System and look for a new home."

Alex asked, "Is there nowhere in the solar system we could escape to?"

Robert replied, "No. Mars' orbit will technically be in the habitable zone after all this happens, but its orbit will be too elliptical to be useful."

Alex nodded and said, "Out of the solar system it is. How many could we take?"

"Ideally, we'd want a crew of 20,000, but I reckon we could work with 200." Alex nodded again, and sat there for a couple minutes thinking. Then he tapped a touchscreen next to him.

"Yes Mr. President?" asked Mrs. Johnson.

"Get me a conference call with the leaders of the UK, Canada, China, Japan, and the heads of their respective space agencies."

"Okay, what should I tell them?" she asked.

"Tell them the future of humanity is at stake," said Alex.

"Oh-Okay," said Mrs. Johnson. "Calling them now."

Alex stood up, and gestured for Robert to follow him. He opened up the door, and walked to the cabinet room. There they took a chair, and waited for the 10 screens to light up. That took half an hour. After all the screens were lit, Alex stood up and introduced them to Robert, and then he asked, "Robert, could you tell them what you told me?"

"Certainly," Robert said. And he repeated what he told the president. After he finished, all eyes were on the space agency heads.

"Alright Professor, you may leave now. Thank you for telling us this," said Alex as he gestured him towards the door. Robert nodded and walked out of the room. The door closed as Alex pressed a button on his cuff, and he spoke into it saying, "Mrs. Johnson, please escort Robert out of the White House, thank you."

Alex then turned to the 10 screens, "Alright, now you know how the world will end. The next question is: How do we save humanity from going extinct?"

The head of ESA spoke up, "Obviously, we need to build a starship. I propose we use Project Orion. It uses nuclear pulse propulsion."

"What's that?" asked Alex.

"Nuclear pulse propulsion works by detonating nuclear bombs at the back of the ship to produce thrust. With that setup, we could reach 5% of the speed of light, and slow down," said the head of the ESA.

"Uh, how about no. I don't care if it's the end of the world, we're not going to put the last of humanity on a bunch of bombs," Alex replied.

"Okay then," said the head of NASA, Bill Connors. "What about laser sails? You have a massive, very thin sail. It basically uses light from highly concentrated lasers to get it up to speed. With that design, you could get to 10% of the speed of light. The only problem is really just slowing down, but seeing as how we could use the solar wind of the target stat, that shouldn't be a big problem."

"And how big would this sail have to be?" asked the prime minister of Russia.

"Quite literally the size of Texas, or, an almost 1100 kilometers wide circle," said Bill.

"That's not doable in the slightest sense," said the prime minister of Canada.

"Okay," said Bill. "What about a Bussard ramjet? That works by having a laser to ionize the interstellar medium, and a magnetic field that scoops hydrogen from interstellar space, and fuses it to make power and thrust. That would be limited to about 12% of the speed of light."

"And how big would that have to be?" asked Alex.

"160 km, but, it would effectively be mass-less, since it’s a magnetic field, with an emitter and a laser to allow it to work. It also needs the other aspects of a space craft, too." Almost everyone but Alex was nodding in approval.

"This is great and all, but have you all forgotten that the longest a fusion reactor has ever been active is 5 months? So how long does this need to work?" asked Alex.

"Forty years minimum, 80-150 years realistically," answered Bill. "However, the engine only needs to be turned on 4 times. Once for the acceleration, which would only take about a month. Second, for slowing down into orbit around the target star. Third, to speed up slightly towards the target planet. And forth, to enter orbit around the target planet. The rest of the time we could use conventional nuclear fission reactors."

"Okay, I guess I can live with that," said Alex. "But what about crew? When Robert and I were talking, he said ideally we'd want 20,000 for genetic diversity, but said we could work with 200."

The head of CNSA spoke up this time, "No, 200 is too low, but I don't think we could build a ship large enough to hold 20,000, but we could work with 1,000. That would be my minimum."

The head of JAXA spoke up this time, "What are we going to put them in? Microgravity isn't the best place to put astronauts in, fun, yes, but in the span of 40-150 years, their bones will become thin and brittle, and when they get to the planet, their bones will break, so what habitat do we want them in? Doughnut shaped, or cylinder shaped?" The debate reigned on for over half an hour, until they settled for a doughnut centrifuge spacecraft capable of holding 3,500 people, it would be 600 meters across, and provide 0.77 gees of gravity.

"This is all well and good, but where are we going to go?" asked the head of Roscosmos.

Bill answered, "The closest star with planets is Proxima Centauri, 4.2 light years away, making the trip 40 years. It has three planets. Unfortunately, they're too cold to support human life. after that, it's Alpha Centauri a. That star only has two hot gas giants. Next is Alpha Centauri b, which has four planets, but they're all hot deserts. After that it's Lalande 21185, which has six planets, two in the habitable zone, all rocky, but the star is 8.3 light years away, making the trip 79 years. After that, there's Epsilon Indi. That star has three planets, all gas giants. Two of them are ice giants, and are too cold, but one, larger than Jupiter, is in the habitable zone, however, it's not known to have Earthlike moons, but evidence from JWST suggests that it does. Unfortunately its distance of 11 light years would make the trip last 110 years. On the bright side, however, the star is Sun-like, meaning the sky could be blue, and the views would be excellent. We could also imagine there being several Earthlike moons orbiting it if the gas giant accumulated enough material."

And so, the argument began. It was split into four parties. The first wanted to take the easy way, and go to Proxima. As they said, the star has a cold desert planet, which would be useful for a self sustaining base, and a couple of icy planets, which would be useful for just about everything, water, air, plants, fuel cells, fusion, etc. The second wanted to go to Lalande 21185, arguing that the six planet system with two potential worlds that could be easily colonized would be best for the crew. The 3rd group wanted to wait and go to Epsilon Indi, saying we should prioritize a Sun-like star over anything else. Plus the gas giant would be useful for protecting any moons from lethal radiation. The 4th wanted to keep looking for planets, saying there could be better options for humanity. After over an hour of arguing, they decided to take a vote, the most popular vote went to Lalande 21185, and that was settled as the target. After that, they had to decide how to build and fund it. Funding was easy, as they all decided to put 30% of their national budgets to space exploration, and to put all of it to the starship. Figuring out how to build it was harder, but after half an hour of discussion, they decided to have NASA and JAXA build the propulsion system, the ESA and CSA building the habitat (As well as having all private companies who built spacecraft assist them), and CNSA and Roscosmos will build the shuttles. On the question of how the citizens would react they decided to declare martial law over their citizens, and practically make their countries dictatorships.

     Three days later

The entire world was in frenzy, after their leaders declared almost absolute power over them. Protesting reached an all time high, and economies were starting to get damage. The UN wondered how they were going to keep the peace for the next 36 years...

_________________________________________________________

Okay, did the suggestion....

 

[Spaceception]

4 hours ago, Atlas2342 said:

[Snippy]

So.. make the text smaller?

EDIT: Oh hey, we're on page 8 now!

Edited March 10, 2016 by Spaceception