Hilarious scam email: Nigerian astronaut stranded in space

[RainDreamer]

Had enough with the Nigerian princes? We now have Nigerian Astronaut!

http://gizmodo.com/we-found-the-best-nigerian-prince-email-scam-in-the-gal-1758786973

Here is the text of the scam email:

[Peder]

ha ha  nice.... But I doubt it is a real nigerian scam-email... it is to well written compared to the "old" nigerian scam letters that I seen the last 25 years.  

[kookoo_gr]

14 YEARS IN SPACE?! Why didn't nasa or the Russian Space Agency send him to Mars or Jupiter and back? Also Is there another space station in opertaion that i didn't know. Finally i would like to know how he copped with space madness, do all of his thoughts have to do with cheese?

[razark]

1 minute ago, kookoo_gr said:

14 YEARS IN SPACE?!

2016 - 1990 != 14

Is this message old, or stupid?

[Rath]

I saw this on Cracked.com

[Shpaget]

1 hour ago, Peder said:

it is to well written compared to the "old" nigerian scam letters that I seen the last 25 years.

Their scripts are usually a lot better than their "live" correspondence. Once you engage them and force the change of subject, and they need to actually write a response instead of just copy/paste from script, that's when you see their actual level of English.

As for the plot of the scam... it's common knowledge that in 1990 Russia was in dire need of highly trained Nigerian astronauts.

[ChrisSpace]

Whether its 14 years or 26 years, realistically spending that much time in 0g would make returning to Earth extremely difficult.

[ColKlonk]

23 minutes ago, kookoo_gr said:

14 YEARS IN SPACE?! Why didn't nasa or the Russian Space Agency send him to Mars or Jupiter and back

No ways..!! a one way trip would be better... one less scam artist to deal with

[Tex_NL]

If you fall for a scam like this you deserve it!
Apart from the obvious clues like the time in space there is another dead give-away: It would have been cheaper to bring him home instead of sending supplies for all those years.

Edited May 5, 2016 by Tex_NL

[kookoo_gr]

of course if someone answered they could go in the lines of this guy

 

[Bill Phil]

Here's one issue:

14 years after 1990 is 2004...

[Matuchkin]

NIGERIAN

Bring him home

Acted by Brad Pitt

[Matuchkin]

16 hours ago, ColKlonk said:

No ways..!! a one way trip would be better... one less scam artist to deal with

Best...

[insert_name]

I'm almost tempted to call them

[ColKlonk]

7 hours ago, Matuchkin said:

NIGERIAN

Bring him home

Acted by Brad Pitt

Ja.. Brad would have to polish up his act !!

[KAL 9000]

On May 5, 2016 at 10:28 PM, RainDreamer said:

Had enough with the Nigerian princes? We now have Nigerian Astronaut!

http://gizmodo.com/we-found-the-best-nigerian-prince-email-scam-in-the-gal-1758786973

Here is the text of the scam email:

First off, Nigeria doesn't even HAVE a manned space program...

[RainDreamer]

1 hour ago, KAL 9000 said:

First off, Nigeria doesn't even HAVE a manned space program...

The text of the email says that the Nigerian astronaut was on secret space mission by the Soviet government on a secret military space station, and is left stranded there when his Russian colleagues returns and his spot was taken by return cargo.

Please, don't try to make sense of what you just read, it will hurt your head. Just laugh.

I imagine conspiracy theorists might fall for this and talk about how they have military space station and secret space missions, and now they can get back a man who would be willing to talk about it and get money on the side.

Edited May 6, 2016 by RainDreamer

[FancyMouse]

Wait. 14 years on station. 1990-2016.

Is the station going at ~0.84c?

[ColKlonk]

17 hours ago, KAL 9000 said:

First off, Nigeria doesn't even HAVE a manned space program...

The mind boggles :-)

[cubinator]

On 5/7/2016 at 7:08 PM, FancyMouse said:

Wait. 14 years on station. 1990-2016.

Is the station going at ~0.84c?

It needs to go that fast to avoid the US government's mind control rays which constantly scan the skies for secret Soviet space stations, and to avoid the Van Allen belts which would catch it and eat the station if it was going too slowly.

[Mjp1050]

The Soviet Union dissolved in 1991, not 1990.

HA! I found the flaw!

[cubinator]

23 hours ago, Mjp1050 said:

the flaw

Wow! Congratulations! I wouldn't have known this was a scam if you hadn't pointed out all ONE flaws with the message! Thank you!

sarcasm, joking, plz don't kill me

[Matuchkin]

On ‎06‎/‎05‎/‎2016 at 0:39 PM, RainDreamer said:

I imagine conspiracy theorists might fall for this and talk about how they have military space station and secret space missions, and now they can get back a man who would be willing to talk about it and get money on the side.

And then, they just end up wasting their money on a poorly-made scam email. The reaction would be so satisfying.

[James Kerman]

They are going about it the wrong way, I would pay money to strand Justin Beiber in orbit.

[RizzoTheRat]

11 hours ago, James Kerman said:

They are going about it the wrong way, I would pay money to strand Justin Beiber in orbit.

Do you reckon it would violate the rules of Kickstarter?  Used to be between $20-40M when the Russians were sending up tourists in the 1990's, surely it'd be cheaper if we didn't want him back.