Quotes megathread

[cubinator]

"Don't snoop behind people's houses. You might be mistaken for a trash-can."

"Eat a mushroom every day. Why? Then I know you're listening to me."

-The Riverman

Edited January 7, 2017 by cubinator

[cubinator]

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"

-Abraham Lincoln

[adsii1970]

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak."

- Steven Wright

[Tex_NL]

On 25-12-2016 at 4:37 PM, GoSlash27 said:

Another spin on the original:

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish.... Then he's got to get a fishing license but he doesn't have any money. So he's got to get a job and he has to get into the social security system and pay taxes. And now you're gonna audit the poor guy 'cuz he's not really good with math. They'll pull the IRS van up to your house and take *all* your stuff. They'll take your black velvet Elvis, and your Batman toothbrush and that all goes up for auction with the burden of proof on you because you forgot to carry the one because you were worried about eatin' a.... freakin' FISH!

Give a man fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm the rest of his life.

[Snark]

On 12/25/2016 at 7:37 AM, GoSlash27 said:

"Build a man a fire and you'll keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life" - Unknown

Terry Pratchett. 

 

[voicey99]

~~~Assorted quotes I decided I liked~~~

"Derp, derp. Excuse me while I derp" - Sinaea, streamer

"Hahaha...ha...*wheeze* *wheeze* *cough* *thunk*" - EntropicJ, streamer

(...in response to "This vid FTL-jumped me into puberty" - -Tali'Zorah*, Mass Effect 3)

"Sorry, sir. Sorry for eating your office, sir" - somewhere

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible", "Radio has no future", "X-rays will prove to be a hoax" - Lord Kelvin (William Thompson), 1889

"Deep truths are winnowed from deep nonsense" - Carl Sagan

"When you think outside the box, you just realise you're in a bigger box" - Unknown

[Xorth Tanovar]

"TANSTAAFL" -- Robert Heinlein

 

"A Dark Age, by the way, isn't when we have forgotten how to do something. It's when we have forgotten that we ever could do it; as for instance we have forgotten that at one time there were essentially no children who had been through four grades of school who could not read, and by read I mean read every word in a newspaper or book especially including words they had never seen before. They might well not know the meaning of 'polymorph' but they could sure read the word. And on that note, I suppose it's appropriate to say that in some ways we are already in a Dark Age." -- Jerry Pournelle

Edited January 16, 2017 by Xorth Tanovar

[p1t1o]

"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast." - Arnold "Ace" Rimmer, Red Dwarf

[DarkOwl57]

On 10/2/2016 at 6:39 PM, CAKE99 said:

'by the way, no accidental civil wars!" @Pine on the KSP discord, on the subject of me accidentally starting a civil war in my own country in Hearts of Iron 4,

I know you can do that to other countries (coups) but how did you do that to yourself?!? Did someone coup you?

"This is going great! I think that for once, this plane's going to-" *explosion* "OH GODDANGIT NOT AGAIN!!!" -Me testing a plane for an upcoming book series

[CAKE99]

1 hour ago, DarkOwl57 said:

I know you can do that to other countries (coups) but how did you do that to yourself?!? Did someone coup you?

"This is going great! I think that for once, this plane's going to-" *explosion* "OH GODDANGIT NOT AGAIN!!!" -Me testing a plane for an upcoming book series

 

 

In HoI4, that game, there is a command that allows you to start a civil war of any ideology in any country, I was using it, and I accidentally used it on myself.

Edited January 18, 2017 by CAKE99

[DarkOwl57]

1 hour ago, CAKE99 said:

In HoI4, that game, there is a command that allows you to start a civil war of any ideology in any country, I was using it, and I accidentally used it on myself.

WWWWWOOOOWWWW!!!!! I'm playing it now; I'll see if I accidentally do that too This would be a bat time though; I'm getting ready to kill Mexico and Spain... Maybe AFTER I kill Japan I'll try it

[adsii1970]

On 1/16/2017 at 1:41 PM, Xorth Tanovar said:

"TANSTAAFL" -- Robert Heinlein

 

"A Dark Age, by the way, isn't when we have forgotten how to do something. It's when we have forgotten that we ever could do it; as for instance we have forgotten that at one time there were essentially no children who had been through four grades of school who could not read, and by read I mean read every word in a newspaper or book especially including words they had never seen before. They might well not know the meaning of 'polymorph' but they could sure read the word. And on that note, I suppose it's appropriate to say that in some ways we are already in a Dark Age." -- Jerry Pournelle

I've been saying this for nearly a year now. And this Second Great Dark Age will be the darkest Western Civilization has seen.

[legoclone09]

If there is anything that a man can do well, I say let him do it. Give him a chance. - Abraham Lincoln

A little rule 2.2-y, but it's still a good quote.

Edited January 20, 2017 by legoclone09

[Raven Industries]

"Are you going to lay there and get killed, or get up and do something about it?"

- Unidentified Lieutenant, Easy Red Section, Omaha Beach, Normandy Landings, June, 1944.

[NSEP]

Humans are not meant to do this you say? Neither are we meant to build cars, save animals that are supossed to kill us, walk on the Moon, and bring you into existence. 

-NSEP

 

[Robotengineer]

"What's horse man ship?" -A friend reading a belt buckle which was a horsemanship trophy. He actually read it as horse (space) man (space) ship. 

[DarkOwl57]

"Here today, we mourn this great loss. These pixels fought valiantly, and we shall never forget their sacrifice..... But dear god that battle sucked"

-Me after trying to a direct invasion to Berlin in HOI4 and losing 92 units after they got stuck in a pocket

[cubinator]

"Did you know? You can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science Self-Esteem Fund for Girls? It's true!"

-GLaDOS

[NSEP]

Kids do not notice subliminal messaging. Remember hangman? Never got disturbed. This also means kids don't notice secret illuminati reptilian government crap in movies. -Me

Think twice, but sometimes three, maybe four, or even five times! It depends on what your thinking about -Me

Internet Memes will make it to the history books. Its creativity at it's craziest. -Me

There are 3 types of people. Isolators, fleshy and boney ones, and superconductors. -Me

[MiffedStarfish]

More of a poem than a quote, but I couldn't resist:

Now the world has gone to bed

darkness won't engulf my head

I can see in infra-red

how I hate the night. -Marvin

 

[Urses]

Dont look up to the Skys...

There may be somebody who dont like it and come down to "Diskuss" about Private Sphere...

Unknown

 

Levitating is simple... you only have to fall ... and miss the ground.

R.Adams

 

A friend Ask you:

"Why you look so upset?"

Best friend asks:

"Where is the corpse and have somebody eyewithnessed this?"

Unknown

 

"I never said half the crap people said i did"

Albert Einstein 

Edited March 20, 2017 by Urses

[cubinator]

"Didn't we have some fun, though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye!' and you were like 'NO WAY' and then I was all 'We pretended we were going to murder you'? That was great."

-GLaDOS

[Urses]

Lastly the sciencist began to use lawyers instead of Rats. 

Why?

1. Humanitarian thoughs about Rats

2. There are some things what Rats will never do

Robert Williams  (Hook)

 

4 hours ago, MiffedStarfish said:

how I hate the night. -Marvin

The answer is 42

[Urses]

And now i fly by the Su...aaaaahhhhhhh

Jeb Ikarus

 

[cubinator]

7 hours ago, Urses said:

And now i fly by the Su...aaaaahhhhhhh

Jeb Ikarus

 

Now that I think of it, Jeb is probably directly descended from Ikarus Kerman.