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Through Hardships to the Stars [Chapter 32 - Something Big II]

TheEpicSquared

By TheEpicSquared
in KSP1 Mission Reports

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KAL 9000

KAL 9000

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JAI - Kerbin Destruction Scenarios & Evacuation Plans: 

Situations 9 through 11: 

Situation Iota: Imminent gamma-ray burst impact; Contingency Plan Iota

Situation Kappa: Rapid local space-time degradation in planetary SOI; Contingency Plan Kappa 

Situation Lambda: Imminent gamma-ray burst impact and black hole approaching Kerbol system rapidly; Contingency Plan Lambda 

JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: New data indicates different scenario in-progress than previously thought. 

JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Switching from Plan Iota to Plan Lambda... Done 

JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Alerting officials... Done 

JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: ALERT! Black hole trajectory model updated based on new data: black hole on collision course with Kerbol! 5 Years to Impact!

JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Calculating damage to Kerbol system based on black hole collision... Done 

JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Damage Assessment: 100%; No space objects in the Kerbol system remain intact 

JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: JAI-Kubble Space Telescope detects habitable planet fifty light-years from Kerbol. No life signs detected in habitable planet; it cannot belong to the Hybridium or any other alien species. 

JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Aborting Duna program. Initializing Kerbol evacuation program. 

JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Informing Hardfield we have a plan.

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KAL 9000

KAL 9000

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JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Interstellar Colony Ship (ICS) Blueprints finalized 

JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: ICS much too large to send into orbit with one launch: Orbital assembly required 

JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Duna program no longer required: ITS to be converted to large Kerbin orbital shuttle 

JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Informing Hardfield of plan updates 

At JAI Headquarters, KAL and his right-hand Kerb, Joshmal Kerman, dragged a random guy off the street into an empty JAI spacecraft hangar.

"We'll need more than engineering skill and luck to make this plan successful," KAL said. They drew a pentagram on the ground with a marker that had suspiciously red ink. 

Joshmal read from a book entitled Kerbalnomicon, directing the setup. KAL yelled out an incantation in Kerb Latin. 

Oyay ingentemyay akenKray

icimusDay ientissimampay ontentionemcay ecumtay 

Utyay oblemapray ostrumnay estyay auxiliumyay 

Etyay inyay edituray 

acrificeSay umussay obisvay 

Ordinariusyay aechay erbalKay 

"Hey, dude, what's your name?" 

"Jon-Jonton Ker-Kerman" 

JONTON KERMAN! 

A thunderstorm raged outside, and a dramatic bolt of lightning streaked to the ground outside the window. 

Something materialized inside the hangar, its true form too vile for Kerbals to even comprehend. Everything about it seemed... off... in many strange ways. KAL opened up TVTropes and checked every box in the "Eldritch Abomination" entry. The creature transformed into A Form You Are Comfortable With and took on the appearance of a giant squid with a watermelon for a body. 

"YoU hAvE sUmMoNeD mE, pUnY kErBaLs. I aM kNoWn By MaNy NaMeS: dEsTrOyEr Of WoRlDs, CtHuLhU, pOlItIcS, aNd MaNy ThAt ArE tOo InCoMpReHeNsIbLe To YoUr FoOlIsH mOrTaL mInDs, BuT yOu MaY cAlL mE tHe KrAkEn." 

"Okay, Kraken-" 

"ThE kRaKeN"

"-The Kraken, sorry. We need your help in evacuating the Kerbol system, and in return, we'll sacrifice this guy to you." 

"KeRbAl SoUlS dO tAsTe BeTtEr WhEn SaCrIfIcEd. YoU hAvE a DeAl."

"Thank you, The Kraken." 

Having secured The Kraken's aid, KAL and Joshmal walked away, oblivious to the tortured screams of Jonton. 

---

There you go, @TheEpicSquared! A foolproof Kerbol evacuation plan! I may have taken drastic measures, but I think it was worth it :).

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KAL 9000

KAL 9000

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*intro music* 

ON-SCREEN TEXT: KERBAL NEWS NETWORK 

"Hello, and welcome back to KNN, Kerbalkind's number one news source! I'm Burmont Kerman, and if you're just joining us, we've been talking about a terrifying new discovery by the Kerbol Space Telescope. It appears as though there's a black hole headed directly at the Kerbol system! Here's our space correspondent, Fredley Kerman, with more on this exciting development." 

"That's right, Burmont. It's a state of general panic here at the KSC, with scientists frantically redoing their calculations for the tenth time to make sure that this is in fact real. The black hole has the official designation of K2SO-LB5437, although many here at KSC have nicknamed it 'Kargantua'. It's about three times the mass of our own sun, Kerbol, and is about half a light-year away. It's approaching at about one-tenth the speed of light, and so will impact in five years. Bock to you, Burmont." 

"Thank you, Fredley. This was originally thought to be a hoax by a KSC scientist until it was independently confirmed by JAI, who are currently working on an evacuation ship to carry as many Kerbals as possible to a habitable planet in a nearby star system and save Kerbalkind."

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KAL 9000

KAL 9000

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Montage time! 

*Cargo rocket lifts off, carrying the first part of the ICS into orbit* 

Goodbye love

Didn't know what time it was the lights were low oh how 

I leaned back on my radio oh oh 

*ITS lifts off, carrying construction crew into orbit* 

Some cat was layin' down some rock 'n' roll 'lotta soul, he said

Then the loud sound did seem to fade a ade 

Came back like a slow voice on a wave of phase ha haze 

That weren't no d.j. that was hazy cosmic jive 

*Construction crew docks to the first ICS component in orbit* 

There's a starman waiting in the sky

He'd like to come and meet us 

But he thinks he'd blow our minds 

*ICS structural frame takes shape* 

There's a starman waiting in the sky 

He's told us not to blow it 

'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile 

*Cargo rocket 02 lifts off* 

O o oh

Let the children lose it 

Let the children use it 

Let the children boogie 

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na 

*TO BE CONTINUED*

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Kosmonaut

Kosmonaut

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, KAL 9000 said:

You do realize that that song was not written for The Martian, right? You can find it on the Internet for free.

Yeah I realize

I didn't think that a song written in the 70's was made for a movie in 2015

I'm just saying that some of the nerds would be upset

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TheEpicSquared

TheEpicSquared

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  • Author
Posted

Hey everyone, sorry for not being very active here. I've been full up with the KSP: Emulating Real Life project, but I'll try to have a chapter up by Sunday. :) 

On 4/6/2017 at 6:14 PM, KAL 9000 said:

Duna program no longer required

What do you mean "Duna program no longer required"?

Duna remains the prime target for Kerbalkind. Thank you very much.

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KAL 9000

KAL 9000

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Posted
On 4/13/2017 at 10:13 AM, TheEpicSquared said:

Hey everyone, sorry for not being very active here. I've been full up with the KSP: Emulating Real Life project, but I'll try to have a chapter up by Sunday. :) 

What do you mean "Duna program no longer required"?

Duna remains the prime target for Kerbalkind. Thank you very much.

Well, think about it. A BLACK HOLE IS GOING TO EAT THE SOLAR SYSTEM! DUNA WILL BE DESTROYED AS WELL!

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KAL 9000

KAL 9000

Posted
Posted
On 4/16/2017 at 3:57 PM, TheEpicSquared said:

Not necessarily.

WAIT WHAT?!  YOU SURE? Because I'm pretty sure JAI's Kubble Space Telescope took accurate readings... and I really didn't want to sacrifice innocent Kerbal souls to the Kraken (YOU HEARD NOTHING) for no reason...

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Kosmonaut

Kosmonaut

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, StupidAndy said:

I google mapped it

you got a Nevada Air Base right?

area 51?

right?

I got a small town near a base so I just assumed they lived there but now that I think of it they could be an alien

 

They referring to @TheEpicSquared because I don't know your gender preferred pronouns, just to clarify

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KAL 9000

KAL 9000

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 4/17/2017 at 10:52 PM, Kosmonaut said:

-snippety snip-

I think he put Area 51 as a joke.

---

DUNA PROGRAM RE-AUTHORIZATION COMPLETE 

I'M STILL BUILDING AN INTERSTELLAR SPACESHIP. I ALREADY BOUGHT THE COMPONENTS, AND I'M NOT PUTTING THREE HUNDRED BILLION ROOTS TO WASTE.

Edited by KAL 9000
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Cristy2017

Cristy2017

Posted
Posted (edited)

Dear Harfield, Hyperion Aerospace Technologies has built the super innovative Taron-1 Outer Exploration Telescope, the purpose of which will be the exploration of the outer bodies in the Kerbol system, also carrying a good number of science experiments.With a bit of luck, we may be able to look closer at the black hole surroundings. It should be useful to set up a relay network too.

  • Payload name: Taron-1 Outer Exploration Telescope
  • Payload provider: Hyperion Aerospace Technologies (HAT)
  • Type of payload: Probe/Telescope
  • Payload mass: 5.57 ton
  • Payload height: 9.3m
  • Payload length: 3.0m
  • Payload width: 7.4m
  • Payload part count: 22 stock parts
  • Orbit around the sun with apoapsis and periapsis near the Outer Planets
  • Telescope with two relay antennas, probe and a service bay with some experiments
  • https://kerbalx.com/Cristy2017/Taron-1-Outer-Exploration-Telescope
  • Note: When you are done with the orbit decouple the lens cover. Btw I don't know if the antennas will be enough to control the probe that far, I think another relay nearer Kerbin is necessary.
Spoiler

4h9fdxf.png

 

2Aw2Z5J.png

 

Computer generated conceptual images. Not actual real footage. 

 

But wait! That's not all the paperwork! Our major investor Eelon Kerman and his wife Riley Kerman want to experience an orbit around Kerbin and since our own rockets are still under development, we think your company will do great. We are willing to pay a lot for this to be done.

  • The orbit must have an inclination of ~45º
  • The g-meter must not go over 10g during the whole trip.
Spoiler

QMGdlFi.png

Photo of both of them doing some Kerbin exploration.

 

                                                                            

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Cris Kerman                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Ceo of HAT

                                                                                                                                                                                                              

 

Edited by Cristy2017
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