KAL 9000 Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 JAI - Kerbin Destruction Scenarios & Evacuation Plans: Situations 9 through 11: Situation Iota: Imminent gamma-ray burst impact; Contingency Plan Iota Situation Kappa: Rapid local space-time degradation in planetary SOI; Contingency Plan Kappa Situation Lambda: Imminent gamma-ray burst impact and black hole approaching Kerbol system rapidly; Contingency Plan Lambda JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: New data indicates different scenario in-progress than previously thought. JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Switching from Plan Iota to Plan Lambda... Done JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Alerting officials... Done JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: ALERT! Black hole trajectory model updated based on new data: black hole on collision course with Kerbol! 5 Years to Impact! JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Calculating damage to Kerbol system based on black hole collision... Done JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Damage Assessment: 100%; No space objects in the Kerbol system remain intact JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: JAI-Kubble Space Telescope detects habitable planet fifty light-years from Kerbol. No life signs detected in habitable planet; it cannot belong to the Hybridium or any other alien species. JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Aborting Duna program. Initializing Kerbol evacuation program. JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Informing Hardfield we have a plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obney kerman Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 On 4/5/2017 at 5:30 PM, KAL 9000 said: Situation Kappa: Rapid local space-time degradation in planetary SOI; Contingency Plan Kappa Expand @Parkaboy called, he wants his doomsday back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAL 9000 Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Interstellar Colony Ship (ICS) Blueprints finalized JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: ICS much too large to send into orbit with one launch: Orbital assembly required JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Duna program no longer required: ITS to be converted to large Kerbin orbital shuttle JAI Mainframe Supercomputer: Informing Hardfield of plan updates At JAI Headquarters, KAL and his right-hand Kerb, Joshmal Kerman, dragged a random guy off the street into an empty JAI spacecraft hangar. "We'll need more than engineering skill and luck to make this plan successful," KAL said. They drew a pentagram on the ground with a marker that had suspiciously red ink. Joshmal read from a book entitled Kerbalnomicon, directing the setup. KAL yelled out an incantation in Kerb Latin. Oyay ingentemyay akenKray icimusDay ientissimampay ontentionemcay ecumtay Utyay oblemapray ostrumnay estyay auxiliumyay Etyay inyay edituray acrificeSay umussay obisvay Ordinariusyay aechay erbalKay "Hey, dude, what's your name?" "Jon-Jonton Ker-Kerman" JONTON KERMAN! A thunderstorm raged outside, and a dramatic bolt of lightning streaked to the ground outside the window. Something materialized inside the hangar, its true form too vile for Kerbals to even comprehend. Everything about it seemed... off... in many strange ways. KAL opened up TVTropes and checked every box in the "Eldritch Abomination" entry. The creature transformed into A Form You Are Comfortable With and took on the appearance of a giant squid with a watermelon for a body. "YoU hAvE sUmMoNeD mE, pUnY kErBaLs. I aM kNoWn By MaNy NaMeS: dEsTrOyEr Of WoRlDs, CtHuLhU, pOlItIcS, aNd MaNy ThAt ArE tOo InCoMpReHeNsIbLe To YoUr FoOlIsH mOrTaL mInDs, BuT yOu MaY cAlL mE tHe KrAkEn." "Okay, Kraken-" "ThE kRaKeN" "-The Kraken, sorry. We need your help in evacuating the Kerbol system, and in return, we'll sacrifice this guy to you." "KeRbAl SoUlS dO tAsTe BeTtEr WhEn SaCrIfIcEd. YoU hAvE a DeAl." "Thank you, The Kraken." Having secured The Kraken's aid, KAL and Joshmal walked away, oblivious to the tortured screams of Jonton. --- There you go, @TheEpicSquared! A foolproof Kerbol evacuation plan! I may have taken drastic measures, but I think it was worth it . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAL 9000 Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 *intro music* ON-SCREEN TEXT: KERBAL NEWS NETWORK "Hello, and welcome back to KNN, Kerbalkind's number one news source! I'm Burmont Kerman, and if you're just joining us, we've been talking about a terrifying new discovery by the Kerbol Space Telescope. It appears as though there's a black hole headed directly at the Kerbol system! Here's our space correspondent, Fredley Kerman, with more on this exciting development." "That's right, Burmont. It's a state of general panic here at the KSC, with scientists frantically redoing their calculations for the tenth time to make sure that this is in fact real. The black hole has the official designation of K2SO-LB5437, although many here at KSC have nicknamed it 'Kargantua'. It's about three times the mass of our own sun, Kerbol, and is about half a light-year away. It's approaching at about one-tenth the speed of light, and so will impact in five years. Bock to you, Burmont." "Thank you, Fredley. This was originally thought to be a hoax by a KSC scientist until it was independently confirmed by JAI, who are currently working on an evacuation ship to carry as many Kerbals as possible to a habitable planet in a nearby star system and save Kerbalkind." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmonaut Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 well that sucks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAL 9000 Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 Montage time! *Cargo rocket lifts off, carrying the first part of the ICS into orbit* Goodbye love Didn't know what time it was the lights were low oh how I leaned back on my radio oh oh *ITS lifts off, carrying construction crew into orbit* Some cat was layin' down some rock 'n' roll 'lotta soul, he said Then the loud sound did seem to fade a ade Came back like a slow voice on a wave of phase ha haze That weren't no d.j. that was hazy cosmic jive *Construction crew docks to the first ICS component in orbit* There's a starman waiting in the sky He'd like to come and meet us But he thinks he'd blow our minds *ICS structural frame takes shape* There's a starman waiting in the sky He's told us not to blow it 'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile *Cargo rocket 02 lifts off* O o oh Let the children lose it Let the children use it Let the children boogie Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na *TO BE CONTINUED* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmonaut Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 Yeah but the martian already used starman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAL 9000 Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 On 4/8/2017 at 10:20 PM, Kosmonaut said: Yeah but the martian already used starman Expand Who cares? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmonaut Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 On 4/9/2017 at 8:23 PM, KAL 9000 said: Who cares? Expand The copyright enforcement agencies The nerds The creators of The Martian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superstrijder15 Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 On 4/10/2017 at 12:00 PM, Kosmonaut said: The copyright enforcement agencies The nerds The creators of The Martian Expand That can't be to many people, right? Right???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmonaut Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 On 4/11/2017 at 1:11 PM, superstrijder15 said: That can't be to many people, right? Right???? Expand Yeah, only all 1.49 Billion of us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAL 9000 Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 You do realize that that song was not written for The Martian, right? You can find it on the Internet for free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmonaut Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 On 4/13/2017 at 12:54 AM, KAL 9000 said: You do realize that that song was not written for The Martian, right? You can find it on the Internet for free. Expand Yeah I realize I didn't think that a song written in the 70's was made for a movie in 2015 I'm just saying that some of the nerds would be upset Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheEpicSquared Posted April 13, 2017 Author Share Posted April 13, 2017 Hey everyone, sorry for not being very active here. I've been full up with the KSP: Emulating Real Life project, but I'll try to have a chapter up by Sunday. On 4/6/2017 at 4:14 PM, KAL 9000 said: Duna program no longer required Expand What do you mean "Duna program no longer required"? Duna remains the prime target for Kerbalkind. Thank you very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAL 9000 Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 On 4/13/2017 at 2:13 PM, TheEpicSquared said: Hey everyone, sorry for not being very active here. I've been full up with the KSP: Emulating Real Life project, but I'll try to have a chapter up by Sunday. What do you mean "Duna program no longer required"? Duna remains the prime target for Kerbalkind. Thank you very much. Expand Well, think about it. A BLACK HOLE IS GOING TO EAT THE SOLAR SYSTEM! DUNA WILL BE DESTROYED AS WELL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheEpicSquared Posted April 16, 2017 Author Share Posted April 16, 2017 On 4/16/2017 at 7:53 PM, KAL 9000 said: A BLACK HOLE IS GOING TO EAT THE SOLAR SYSTEM! Expand Not necessarily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmonaut Posted April 17, 2017 Share Posted April 17, 2017 (edited) The Kerbol System may just fall into orbit of Kargantua @TheEpicSquared I know you live in the states, so it must be sunday for you right now... (I did binary sleuthing) Edited April 17, 2017 by Kosmonaut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StupidAndy Posted April 17, 2017 Share Posted April 17, 2017 On 4/17/2017 at 1:24 AM, Kosmonaut said: The Kerbol System may just fall into orbit of Kargantua @TheEpicSquared I know you live in the states, so it must be sunday for you right now... (I did binary sleuthing) Expand I google mapped it you got a Nevada Air Base right? area 51? right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAL 9000 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 On 4/16/2017 at 7:57 PM, TheEpicSquared said: Not necessarily. Expand WAIT WHAT?! YOU SURE? Because I'm pretty sure JAI's Kubble Space Telescope took accurate readings... and I really didn't want to sacrifice innocent Kerbal souls to the Kraken (YOU HEARD NOTHING) for no reason... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmonaut Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 On 4/17/2017 at 10:46 PM, StupidAndy said: I google mapped it you got a Nevada Air Base right? area 51? right? Expand I got a small town near a base so I just assumed they lived there but now that I think of it they could be an alien They referring to @TheEpicSquared because I don't know your gender preferred pronouns, just to clarify Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cristy2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Can we still send payloads? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAL 9000 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 On 4/20/2017 at 11:27 AM, Cristy2017 said: Can we still send payloads? Expand I think so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cristy2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 On 4/20/2017 at 11:52 AM, KAL 9000 said: I think so. Expand Ok I'll try to do something later today haha, I'm addicted to the story, I've read the 15 pages tonight I love that interaction between the author and the readers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAL 9000 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 (edited) On 4/18/2017 at 2:52 AM, Kosmonaut said: -snippety snip- Expand I think he put Area 51 as a joke. --- DUNA PROGRAM RE-AUTHORIZATION COMPLETE I'M STILL BUILDING AN INTERSTELLAR SPACESHIP. I ALREADY BOUGHT THE COMPONENTS, AND I'M NOT PUTTING THREE HUNDRED BILLION ROOTS TO WASTE. Edited April 20, 2017 by KAL 9000 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cristy2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 (edited) Dear Harfield, Hyperion Aerospace Technologies has built the super innovative Taron-1 Outer Exploration Telescope, the purpose of which will be the exploration of the outer bodies in the Kerbol system, also carrying a good number of science experiments.With a bit of luck, we may be able to look closer at the black hole surroundings. It should be useful to set up a relay network too. Payload name: Taron-1 Outer Exploration Telescope Payload provider: Hyperion Aerospace Technologies (HAT) Type of payload: Probe/Telescope Payload mass: 5.57 ton Payload height: 9.3m Payload length: 3.0m Payload width: 7.4m Payload part count: 22 stock parts Orbit around the sun with apoapsis and periapsis near the Outer Planets Telescope with two relay antennas, probe and a service bay with some experiments https://kerbalx.com/Cristy2017/Taron-1-Outer-Exploration-Telescope Note: When you are done with the orbit decouple the lens cover. Btw I don't know if the antennas will be enough to control the probe that far, I think another relay nearer Kerbin is necessary. Reveal hidden contents Computer generated conceptual images. Not actual real footage. But wait! That's not all the paperwork! Our major investor Eelon Kerman and his wife Riley Kerman want to experience an orbit around Kerbin and since our own rockets are still under development, we think your company will do great. We are willing to pay a lot for this to be done. The orbit must have an inclination of ~45º The g-meter must not go over 10g during the whole trip. Reveal hidden contents Photo of both of them doing some Kerbin exploration. Cris Kerman Ceo of HAT Edited April 20, 2017 by Cristy2017 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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