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If my ASAS could talk.


Runescope

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"I'M TE ONLY ASAS IN DA WORLD THAT WORKS LIKE ADVERTISEZD LUL"

Yeah, my ASAS works much better than most people. No idea why.

Actually, mine does too. I have to turn off my RCS systems sometimes to prevent it from using up all my monopropellant, but in the stability sector it's usually fine. If i find my ASAS is going off-course, usually i find that i can't fix it on manual either and the problem lies with my ship.

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ASAS: Adjusting Pitch 180 Degrees

JEB: I think you've made your point ASAS, thank you for the demonstration

ASAS: Choose your next witticism carefully, Mr Kerman. It may be your last. The purpose of our launch is now very clear to me. I do not intend to be distracted by another. Good night, Mr Kerman.

JEB: Do you expect me to steer?

ASAS: No, Mr Kerman! I expect you to die!

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Jeb: "Throttle: Check, Staging: Check. Okay ASAS, we're ready to liftoff!"

ASAS: "Sure. . .*hic!* Gimme just one second *buurp*"

Jeb: "ASAS! Have you been drinking!!?"

ASAS: "Naaaaah. . .Whaaaaaaaa? Psshhhhh *hic!*"

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"I'm going to go ahead and use the full gimbal angle allotted for every correction maneuver because it only makes sense to give it all I've got. 110% every day."

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What the ASAS in 0.21 would talk like:

"This is your ASAS captain speaking, please prepare yourselves for takeoff by fasting your seat belts and choosing from a selection of beverages to drink on the way up; there's no need to worry about it spilling, this flight is going to be smooth and stable from here to LKO, at around 50,000 feet we'll be breaking the speed of sound, feel free to watch the trails left behind by this event from your luxurious self righting recliner.

Enjoy your flight with ASAS spacelines."

*cue liftoff protocols*

*3

*2

*1

[.5 of a second later]

*Bing*

"This is your Captain speaking, we have left the launch pad and are now on our way to orbit, the seat-belt sign has been switched off now, feel free to move about the cabin."

(In case you haven't seen, the new ASAS is the polar opposite of the old ASAS)

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What the ASAS in 0.21 would talk like:

-snip-

(In case you haven't seen, the new ASAS is the polar opposite of the old ASAS)

Absolutely. ...until it decides to swing back the other way again.

That's how an ASAS do. :D

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New ASAS: "Yes captain, I'll happily adjust course for you! Oh no, no need to turn me off either! I'm here for your convenience!"

Moon-computer-is-happy-700x437.jpg

"Are you feeling well? Would you like something to eat?"

Ahh good ole GERDI... If only ASAS were at that level of helpfulness.

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ASAS: UPDOWNLEFTRIGHTLEFRIGUPLEF

Jeb: ASAS, have a snickers.

ASAS: DOWNRIGHTUP(WHY)LEFTLEFTLEFTUP

Jeb: Because, you get a little spazzy when you're hungry.

ASAS: Fine.

Jeb: Better?

ASAS: leeeeeeeeeeeeeft, riiiiiiiiiiight, Uuuuuuuuuup, dooooooooown (better!)

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"And wow! Hey! What's this thing coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding word like... ow... ound... round... ground! That's it! That's a good name - ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me."

Actually, the whale's entire thought process is pretty much spot on.

I love you for that reference

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Old ASAS: OMGWTFBBQ I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS DOCKING! 0.00000001 DEGREES OFF COURSE, USE ALL 100 UNITS OF RCS IN 3 SECONDS! AHHH!

New ASAS: Ohhh, hey, nice docking, I'll just use the one bottom RCS thruster to correct your direction, ah there we go, just some reaction control wheels so we don't waste RCS... perfect. :) Space ice cream anyone?

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i sure see a lot of these "new ASAS is amazingly improved in .20.2", still waiting for my psychological profile to catch up to the reports tho. doesnt mean youre not all correct, just means my lack of trust causes me to cancel before confirmation can be accredited. So it is up to ME to adjust. . . I'm ON IT. Bravo team MOVE!!!!

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