55delta Posted August 13, 2017 Share Posted August 13, 2017 "At the request to re-purpose members of older industries, the crew for our next moon landing will composed entirely of whalers." "We have made a major breakthrough today. We have successfully increased the speed of light." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerbiloid Posted August 13, 2017 Share Posted August 13, 2017 (edited) "As all of you know, NASA is founded by people who didn't have KSP." Edited August 13, 2017 by kerbiloid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prgmTrouble Posted August 14, 2017 Share Posted August 14, 2017 10 hours ago, kerbiloid said: "As all of you know, NASA is founded by people who didn't have KSP." That's preposterous Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewtSoup Posted August 14, 2017 Share Posted August 14, 2017 (edited) We regret to announce that one of our astronauts, Commander Willoughby Crinkly-Bottom has died during an EVA mission. It would appear that he got drunk on coolant and removed his space suit while trying to get the Hubble Space Telescope to "Look at the Moon!" Edited August 14, 2017 by NewtSoup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scientia1423 Posted August 14, 2017 Share Posted August 14, 2017 "Our engineers seem to have mounted the rockets upside-down. We apologise for the emission of greenhouse gases in the cities around the space centre, although it's not like we do it every other time we send our rockets into space." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prgmTrouble Posted August 14, 2017 Share Posted August 14, 2017 "We sent our astronauts around the space center in a rover to collect data from the buildings. We had them stay in the on-board lab for a few years every ten buildings to extract as much science as possible." "We are somehow unable to get a ship to sink." "The monitor indicates that we splashed down at the sun." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerbiloid Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 6 hours ago, prgmTrouble said: "We sent our astronauts around the space center in a rover to collect data from the buildings. We had them stay in the on-board lab for a few years every ten buildings to extract as much science as possible." I wish to plus this several times more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confused Scientist Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 (edited) "We have located Elon Musk in a Tuscon diner after a multistate highway chase and unfortunately were unable to take him alive due to his determination to kill our field agents. His reign of terror is over and new laws are being passed to guarantee the equal treatment of second-stage rockets to ensure this situation never happens again." "Today is the sixtieth anniversary of the flight of the first woman in space, Vale... Valen... Valentinah... Valentina Tere... Tere... Terakosh... ...of Valentina Kerman." And, as a bonus on that last one: "At the same time, the Soviets also sent Val... Valery (uh-oh) Valery Bsy... Bkya... Bykov... Bykovskragoshkravok (I don't think that was right) into orbit around the Earth. This was their second time flying two spacecraft at once, the first of course being the flight of Pavel Popovich and Andry... Adrian... Andriyan Nik... Nik... Nikola... Nikolayevevesk. Yes." "We have looked at the forum challenges and this week, we're gonna need more money." "Wow. This is hard!" "The historic mission to salvage the mysterious artifact on the surface of the Moon failed because when the lander seperated from the command module, it was reclassified as a rover, and our telescopes don't track rovers, so it disappeared." Edited August 15, 2017 by Confused Scientist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prgmTrouble Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 Buzz Aldrin: "I turn around for ONE second and you jump out first!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kermunmus Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 "We here at NASA take pride in our cheap runway building techniques. We take a impossibly perfect flat, hard grass field and turn it into a raised bumpy monstrosity for all your early space program needs! We swear it makes it easier to take off..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KerBlitz Kerman Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 Houston we have a pr----em What is a Prem? T-- -O2 fi--er h-s fai--d What is Faid? 10 Minutes later The Krew of Kerpollo 31 have mysteriously disappeared, analysis of conversation has kaused NASA to skream: WWWHHHHHHHY!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
55delta Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 "We're opening an online contest to suggest and vote for a name for the SLS." "After our moderators had to close all discussion threads, we have decided to halt our 'nominate someone to be an astronaut' contest." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hotaru Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 13 minutes ago, 55delta said: "We're opening an online contest to suggest and vote for a name for the SLS." "In accordance with the results of our online contest, the SLS is now renamed Untitled Space Craft." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
p1t1o Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 "Harp. Blab. Doooo-ahhhhh THING. Dorm-toot. Phalla." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrcarrot Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 "Today our spacecraft was performing a gravity-assist maneuver to escape Kerbin's SOI, but it backfired and it set them on a suborbital trajectory. Their ship, having no heat shield, exploded." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerbiloid Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 "We've gathered some science!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joseph Kerman Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 We lost our Saturn V because some ET's blew them up; saud they were disturbing Kerbal Space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AwesomeDude3664 Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 At 2:30 PST, the Colossus X spacecraft, sending the first crew to mars, was lost when we forgot the chutes. However, one crew member, Major Bob Kerman, survived because he landed on his head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HerrCrazi Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 "We're happy to say that the experimentations and researches made after the crash of XASR-01 proved the fact that the fall of the rocket back on the launchpad was not caused by a failure. It's caused by a natural phenomeon called 'gravity'. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
munlander1 Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 The lizard people are now launching their plan to take over the earth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KerBlitz Kerman Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 The N-1 would have succeeded if we built it not the Soviets! But it would be called... The Saturn 5b Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kermunmus Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 On 9/4/2017 at 9:05 AM, AwesomeDude3664 said: At 2:30 PST, the Colossus X spacecraft, sending the first crew to mars, was lost when we forgot the chutes. However, one crew member, Major Bob Kerman, survived because he landed on his head. ...until it was found that he had contracted a mild case of "spaghettiosis" in where your limbs are painfully stretched by unknown forces hundreds of meters in each direction, until your inevitable death, all while you have a smile on your face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prgmTrouble Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 1 hour ago, LazySoUseHyperedit said: ...until it was found that he had contracted a mild case of "spaghettiosis" in where your limbs are painfully stretched by unknown forces hundreds of meters in each direction, until your inevitable death, all while you have a smile on your face. It is referred to on the interwebs as a "creepypasta" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrcarrot Posted September 15, 2017 Share Posted September 15, 2017 "Our Mun lander failed, but the astronauts were able to jump out and land safely. Using a ladder, they made it back." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinkAllKerb'' Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 (edited) "you do know that 99,99... ^... ... ... ^ ...% of the universe totally don't care about your moan ; hey !?! the same apply to nasa and human you know, that's accurately normal & representative, all scale related for sure" Edited September 16, 2017 by WinkAllKerb'' grumpy ted typo, whatever disambiguation(s) ted refer too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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