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I wont be around for awhile I have some sad news ...


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I am dealing with my wife's second recurrance of cancer and personally I dont think it looks very good for her.

I have streamed KSP alot and really like the game; I hope to be back but it is sketchy.

I may put up a site I dunno I am shaken up pretty bad myself and dont feel so great; over 24 good years with her I hope they can help her.

Keep us in your thoughts. I will keep you all posted.


Edited by Cdr_Zeta
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Godspeed. If you can, I'd gladly help you set up a page for donations to help aleviate all the overexpensive medical costs and make a contribution myself. No one on Earth deserves to feel the pain of a loved one that's dying; and no one deserves to feel the guilt of the fact that they could've done something to save them. I will entrust that you will do everything you try, and that you will treasure each and every last day.

Good luck comrade. May the stars be with you. :salute:

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Sometimes you do just have to keep going and do things that need to be done in the face of adversity.

During the bad storm we had last week or so we were without power for almost a week; lucky it wasnt too cold like in the 50's.

A week or so before that I was nagged to get the generator at our other property which we aint movin too now; nice dream there while it lasted but some reality checks make it not good for us to move there; so I fonally get the generator after not using it for 2 years; we have the other property for like 5 years and been tryin to sell it for 2+; I had run the generator off and on.

So I get it home and after 2 winters wouldnt you know it we needed it.

I messed around with the electrical panel (luckily I know electronics and electricity); the main substitute breaker for the whole house didnt work so I said the heck with it and ran the heat and the fridge off and on during the last few days of the outage; quite an experience; well now I know what to do if it happens again and I am ready; life's learning lessons; then this happens right after the storm.

The last 2 nights she hasnt felt good; side effects of the surgery we think from 2 years ago; it happens and I think she overstressed herself; I told her to chill out and let me do things; she seems in good spirits today.

Me...I have this pain in my side; didnt really bother me for almost 2 years; after I heard the news its like the day after this pain comes back; goin on 2 days; its minor but once some years ago I doubled over and thought I was gonna die ! Argggh !

Well if it persists its back to the doctor for me; sometimes you have to be really persistent; oh they did tests before and couldnt find anything; I think it may be an ulcer even though it feels like my appendix; yer sposed to have fevers with that mess; I felt almost like a stomach flu setting in but my body seems to be fighting whatever it is; and I havnt had a flu shot in 10 years and never get the flu; I dont get out much haha for good reason; I hate hospitals they make you ill but they heal you too.

Thanks for the donation page; I see this picture of her in my head; I may take you up on the offer; luckily I think we are okay on our medical bills; we could do a breast cancer donation thing in her name or something; one outfit in Utah asked for donations but I dont know if it is legit there are so many scams out there; not saying she could use some money but in that sense we are not desperate; we are very lucky here; in fact she has always been my Good Luck Charm.

Will keep you posted ... thank you all for your support; I dont like to use real names on the Internet but she has a nickname; not sure how we would do up any kind of donations page; I have my own website as well for stuff also but I dont know how to setup donations.

I have another venture going on that will be accepting Paypal donations for some research I am doing on...ET ! No worries though there; I spent most of my savings and have all the equipment; I just hope I can keep my homes long enough to do the work which hopefully will be in process this winter; now its gonna be tough.

Hopefully the chemo works if that is what she goes thru...

Mr Zeta

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One can only hope; I try to keep from having a nervous breakdown; I have to be strong for her; but in reality inside I am not very strong both physically and mentally; but those simple words..."Stay Strong"...mean alot; we cant just give up.

I play KSP cause it is a simple game but challenging - most importantly - it reminds me of how insignificant we all are in this Universe of ours, or maybe even Multiverse(s) who knows and who really cares - it's just unimaginably huge; we have to respect that.

I am one of the possibility that there is more to life than what have here on Earth; hopefully this is just the beginning for us; either way...it is a step...we are life and we should respect all life; some of us dont seem to do that; some of us have to take risks; it's sad.

I wish I could go with her ... but it seems as I have, we all have, some job to do here while we are on this planet; I thank you for volunteering your time for me ... space is so huge but there must be souls out there watching us; if not then so be it; I guess we shouldnt care as much about the meaning of life as to taking part in it.

I can say my wife has done that and more; we have shared many dreams together and I believe those dreams will continue on in the heaven that either is created for us, or what we have created for ourselves; her soul is reaching out to me and I sense it alot; my soul seems so puny; but it is what it is; at least we are given some kind of chance here; so sad our world is with killings an such over religion and everything; I am sorry to vent out abit sometimes it helps; no need to drag it on here; just me ranting; I am okay.

I want to get v25 going; KSP is one of the few games where I can see achievements and progress; it makes me feel good.

We got some work to do at home ... it will be good works ... sharing the good things in life and keeping positive right thru to the end; its scary for me but I went thru it with my dad a long time ago too.

Sorry I talked too much; I will keep you posted I will know what is gonna happen in about 6 weeks maybe for the long haul.

Thank you all for your support.

Cmdr Zeta

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Thank you again all for your support it means alot.

I got this weekend off more or less I am feeling a little better but next week we are gonna be really busy; hopefully you hear from me next weekend I will know more; it will be either a go for chemo or if it isnt I probly wont be around for awhile; then we got to get thru the first rounds of chemo for a few weeks if she can get thru it...after that its gonna be a daily grind in real life.

She is tough but everyone has breaking points; its awful when you dont know what to do; I know and suspect a few things here; no matter what I will be with KSP as long as I can and will keep everyone posted.

Mr Zeta

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