A Joke Thread - Funny, Not So Funny, Just Jokes!

[Rosenborg]

What is an astronaut’s favorite place on a computer?
The Space bar!

[Rosenborg]

Here is a sweet one

 

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
“Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?” he asks.
“Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?”
“Sure.”
“Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?” she asks. “No, I can remember it.”
“Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so’s not to forget it?”
He says, “I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.”
“I’d also like whipped cream. I’m certain you’ll forget that, write it down?” she asks.
Irritated, he says, “I don’t need to write it down, I can remember it!
Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream – I got it, for goodness sake!”
Then he toddles into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment. “Where’s my toast?”

 

Source: https://top-funny-jokes.com/old-people-jokes/

[LN400]

The teacher asked me why I didn't bring a calculator to the maths class. Told her I prefer mental arithmetics. She said "alright then, what's the cube root of pi?". Told her "a million and a half". She said "that's madness", told her "see I told you it was mental".

[Regor]

"Hey bro, Do you have some sodium hypobromite?"

"NaBrO."

[WinkAllKerb'']

 

[WinkAllKerb'']

search?q=kim+peek+wife&rlz=

in the same spirit sort of ^^

[Tellmedadjokes]

Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.

[StrandedonEarth]

 

[Ben J. Kerman]

Sorry to necropost, but how do Finns make their coffee? 

Spoiler

With a perkeletor.

 

[Abel Military Services]

How does a french skeleton speak hello? 

Bonejour! 

Edited September 27, 2022 by Abel Military Services

[LHACK4142]

Necropost, but why couldn't the robot feel anything?

It was mecanumb.

[Nazalassa]

What quantity is represented by this?

Spoiler

9, tree+tree+tree