Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[ExplodingRocketShips]

Granted. Your hit by it.

I wish to be a giant!

[Tangle]

Granted. You are a giant kerbal, 1.7 metres tall.

I wish for ties.

[Tery215]

Granted. A giant yellow thing called the sun ( and a tie ) is on you. It burns through you, causing death and a giant corpse comparable to the size of the solar system.

I wish that knowledge could be heated out of brains and into an edible cyan substance which provides the consumer various facts completely unrelated to that which the brains contained.

Edited April 5, 2014 by Tery215

[Tangle]

Granted. You become addicted, and you become a bee.

Sneeze.

[exaxxion]

granted. your head explodes due to the pressure

i wish for a free pass to wherever

[vexx32]

Granted. You are shipped off to Wherever, the dimension that disobeys all standard laws of logic. All places are one. All people are one. And that includes you now. You will never get out.

I wish people would read more into things sometimes.

[6.forty]

Granted. Society collapses as everyone is too busy thumbing through dictionaries.

I wish for 500 pallets of fresh Oreos.

[OdinYggd]

Granted. They were salvaged from a container ship that sank, and the packages are all full of seawater.

I wish dogecoin's price would go up.

[vexx32]

Granted, but it soon is devalued and you lose everything.

I wish people would stop falling from the sky.

[Tex]

Granted. People are sucked up into the sky instead.

I wish I could come to terms with the murders I've committed... In Rust...

[11JRidding]

Granted, you come to terms with them and kill yourself

I wish I didn't hate Humanity

[Tangle]

Granted. However, you now hate bees. The bees are you. Goodbye.

I wish toe yien toe.

[ExplodingRocketShips]

Granted. You forget what you wished for so the wish gives you a cheeseburger instead.

I wish I was a fish.

[Boosterspice]

Granted. You are a smoked salmon.

I wish for milkshake

[Fox Arcana]

Granted. All the boys come to the yard to tackle you and take your milkshake.

I wish kerbals

[11JRidding]

Granted, there are Kerbals around, but I shot and killed them all before you saw them

I wish my Internet would stop going off

[Boosterspice]

Granted. MOAR EXPLOSIONS! A rocket "lands" on your head.

I wish my milkshake was good

[Fox Arcana]

Granted. It brings all the boys to the yard to kill you and then take your milkshake.

I wish Glass Joe didn't suck so much

[ExplodingRocketShips]

Granted. He's way too hard to beat and everyone quits playing punchout.

I wish for NASA to make more spacecraft.

[Boosterspice]

Granted, but they are destroyed by aliens before they can explore the solar system

I wish for wormholes to function

[ExplodingRocketShips]

Granted, but the pressure from the Black Holes sphaghettifies and rips apart any spacecraft that enter a wormhole.

I wish for an unusual hat.

[Shna_na]

Granted, you receive one free hat in Hat Fortress 2.

I wish I​ had a free hat in Hat Fortress 2.

[Bioman222]

Granted, but it explodes and kills you.

I wish hsiw I

[vexx32]

Granted. You are turned inside out, stuffed, and displayed in a museum. Mostly still alive.

I wish people would make coherent wishes.

[ExplodingRocketShips]

Granted. They become incoherent because of a paradox, however.

I wish for moar boosters!