Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[Tery215]

Granted. The game is replaced by CoD of Duty.

I wish for the smelliness of ten durians.

[elementgermanium]

Granted, however durians now smell good.

[Samniss Arandeen]

Granted, but durians don't smell anymore.

I wish I cute chibi.

[SelectHalfling0]

Cherubi? Did You Say? Granted. You now reside in a cramped pokeball.

I wish for sniper skillz in tf2.

["Chutes" Kalinin]

Granted, but you are only skilled with the Melee.

I wish for a mars bar.

[General Rarity]

Granted. Curiosity is holding it on Mars.

I wish for a Starburst.

[Xorth Tanovar]

Sun goes nova.

I'm still waiting for my chocolate.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. Have some unsweetened baker's chocolate.

I wish more laptop manufacturers used trackpoints.

[Tery215]

Granted. Consumers start believing that trackpoints were created to suck people's noses out. A giant horde of angry people with pitchforks is in front of your house.

I wish that there was a company that makes stars.

[General Rarity]

Granted. They make Death Stars.

I wish there was a peaceful company that made planets.

[SelectHalfling0]

Granted. They are quickly attacked politically attacked by a company that uses these planets to destroy other planets.

I wish for a million dollars.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. Inflation runs rampant, making one million dollars equivalent to $2.50 in today's money.

I wish for everyone to be more polite and considerate.

Edit: Ha ha vexx32, I already live in Canada! Rumors of our politeness are greatly exaggerated.

Edited September 9, 2014 by Red Iron Crown

[vexx32]

Granted; here's a ticket to Canada.

I wish for the world.

[Overfloater]

Granted, Mercury is yours, and as a bonus - we're sending you there right away!!!

I wish I had a WiFi hot spot in my head.

[Samniss Arandeen]

Granted: everyone knows the password but you~

I wish I could make machines human.

[General Rarity]

Granted, but you cannot control your power. Curiosity dies from lack of air, all GPS sats are now corpses, and your computer is too big.

I wish for the ability to walk on air.

[Tery215]

Granted. However, you can no longer walk on land. You end up living inside the ground, trapped there by the air.

I wish I could walk on forum posts.

[dryer_lint]

Granted. However, the trolls drive you mad and you go completely insane.

[OrbitusII]

You are now a potato. YOU GOTTA WISH FOR SOMETHING!

I wish I was pie. Or pi. Or tau/2. Anything works really, as long as it has something to do with pie.

[dryer_lint]

(Dang, I forgot to wish for something! *facepalm*)

Granted, but pie isn't conscious... or alive at all, for that matter.

I wish for the ability to alter time.

[Tery215]

Granted. All your clocks are looking pretty... melted...

I wish for molten clocks.

[General Rarity]

Granted, but they're dumped on your face.

I wish for frozen plastic.

[GreeningGalaxy]

Granted. Your plastic has just been removed from its liquid nitrogen bath, and becomes lots of tiny bits on contact with the ground!

Why did you want frozen plastic anyway?

I wish I was good at writing music.

[Tery215]

Granted. By the time the training session is (inconveniently) over, people stopped using Italian music format. This has been true for a few hundred years.

I wish that I was hit by a paintbrush.

[GreeningGalaxy]

You were hit by a paintbrush. Unfortunately, you were also hit by a paintbrush.

I wish people weren't such wet blankets about the prospects of fusion power.