Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[temporalExile]

Granted, but that wish is horribly corrupted.

I wish for nothing

(inb4 the universe stops being a thing)

[TheMoonRover]

Granted, nothing ever happens and you die of boredom.

I wish for something

[Aerolfos]

Granted. Something crushes you.

I wish to die.

[WinkAllKerb'']

Granted you reborn instantly exactly at the same place and age(s).

I wich inquisition, crusade & assimilate to have a not so bad and/or not so good end.

[mythbusters844]

Granted. Your attempts at doing so are silenced by the wrath of a snail.

I wish snail fuel couldn't melt steel memes.

[TheMoonRover]

Granted, it melts the hype train instead.

I wish steel memes could melt snail fuel.

[Tery215]

Granted. Snails are now extinct, and due to the food chain, so are memes.

I wish for memes to be spelled "mymies"

[Colserra3]

Granted, in your attempt to change the way the internet works, anonymous posts personal information of you on the internet.

I wish anonymous would do something significant again.

Edited February 19, 2015 by Colserra3
Grammar OCD

[Bill Phil]

Granted, but it's a really bad thing...

I wish I could drive upwards...

[Overfloater]

Granted: you now have a driver's seat ejection system installed in your vehicle!

I wish for the next corruption to be horribly wished.

[Starwhip]

Granted.

I wish for a lit model rocket engine in my hand.

[Sidereus]

Granted. It's a dud.

I wish I could get my Kerbals back from Jool in one try.

[Yukon0009]

Granted. DRE kills them all instead.

I wish for Kraken meat.

[Sidereus]

Granted. You get infected with space worms, and not the good kind.

I wish I were invulnerable.

[Anister]

Granted, ethernal bordedom.

I wish for the power to kill anyone, anywhere, without reprecussions.

[Guest]

granted. you can kill everyone,everywhere except your family.

I wish to go back in time and see the apollo landing.

[Sidereus]

Granted. However, while watching the Apollo landing, you cause a minor accident that sets off a chain of events leading to the untimely demise of your parents prior to your birth, erasing you from existence.

I wish I didn't need sleep.

[InterCity]

Granted. But you can't dream and your brain goes nuts due to lack of relief.

I wish there was autopilot in gliders.

[Overfloater]

Granted, but it was programmed by Muslim terrorists and the glider will crash into the nearest trade building.

I wish for my fish to be horribly corrupted.

[InterCity]

Granted. They get deleted with CHKDISK. All your in-game progress got lost.

I wish that these pesky black boxes in linux space engineers were easier to fix.

[Aerolfos]

Granted. Everything else is now impossible to fix however, meaning your game is now horrible.

I wish I had a tank.

And that it didnt crush me.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. The fish in your tank grow large and aggressive, eventually biting your hand off when you feed them.

I wish for a fish tank that cleans itself automagically.

Edited February 19, 2015 by Red Iron Crown
Typos.

[r4pt0r]

Granted, It removes ALL organic material every hour on the hour.

I wish I knew what happened to the tomb of Alexander the Great.

[temporalExile]

Granted, the fish tank cleans itself using the street cleaners from Welcome to Nightvale. "If you have doors, lock them. If you have windows, board them up. If you still have ears, cover them, and crouch wherever you are. It is Street Cleaning Day. Please remain calm!"

Edit:

Ninja'd

Granted. You are now inside said tomb

I wish I wasn't ninja'd

[HafCoJoe]

I can't really grant that but... Granted!

You weren't ninja'd. But you also never posted your ninja'd post and thus never could have been ninja'd in the first place so I can't actually grant your wish *insert Kappa*.

I wish I had some ice cream right now.

Edited February 19, 2015 by Avera9eJoe