Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[hawkinator]

Granted, the planets are now cubes. Have fun landing

I wish you KSP had dynamic terrain that you could dig into with excavator parts and create craters when you crash your ships.

[Cby]

Granted, KSP turns into a mining sim with all rocketry aspects gone.

I wish I could figure out how to get past this puzzle in this portal 2 custom map. Its driving me crazy!

[Flixxbeatz]

Granted, but you're now already crazy once you've found it out.

I wish that my parakeets can talk now.

[hawkinator]

Granted, but they only know bad words.

I wish I could one day live on a space station.

[MmPMSFmM]

Granted, you have to clean up all the mess the astronauts made.

I wish I could safely swim with the fish in the Europan oceans, assuming there are fish there.

[Flixxbeatz]

Granted. Have fun swimming with piranhas, box jellyfishes, man-o-wars, barracudas, sea snakes, and hungry great-white sharks.

I wish for money.

Granted, but they only know bad words.

I like that.

[MmPMSFmM]

Granted, you get 1 Vietnamese Dong. (1 USD = 20941,35 VND)

I wish I had pizza.

[hawkinator]

Granted, but you are now locked in a parallel universe where you are a slave to the pizza factory and pizza is the only food fed to the slaves. You quickly grow tired of pizza, since they only feed you cheese pizza. Soon, you join in the toppings revolt to demand pepperoni and sausage be served as alternatives, however, all the slaves in the revolt are killed.

I wish my computer didn't suck.

[hedzup456]

Granted, now it blows.

I wish I was real.

[ShachonianX]

Granted, but everyone who is real thinks you are ugly.

I wish I could conquer the universe, with my best friend Slenderman.

[Flixxbeatz]

Granted, but Slenderman turns to you and kills you in process.

I wish for a sulphur crested cockatoo.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but it seems to have "misplaced" its head.

I wish that I had a lightsaber.

[ShachonianX]

Granted, but you point it the wrong way and stab yourself with it.

I wish I could be Jebediah Kerman.

[OdinYggd]

Granted. I've even got a new kind of spaceplane for you to try out.

Alas, you'll die horribly when that spaceplane spins out of control shortly after takeoff due to a structural failure ripping off a wing.

I wish I could ride the dreamweaver train.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but it weaves dreams into your head telling you to burn EVERYTHING.

I wish that Greek mythology was real.

[ShachonianX]

Granted, but you are related to Kronos and Zeus kills you.

I wish I could visit another universe.

[Felsmak]

Granted, but it's a small universe and you're all that exists within it.

I wish for a Spartan helmet.

[SpaceK531]

Granted, but now you're in battle and get impaled by a sword.

I wish for a working model of a KSP ship.

[1001sd]

Granted, it explodes (did that come as a surprise to you?)

I wish for a wish.

[SpaceK531]

Granted. You now have one wish... but there's no genie to grant it.

I wish I could control the weather

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but you misuse your powers and make the weather exactly like on Venus.

I wish for a new car.

[Needles_10]

Its engine overheats in the retailer's parking lot.

I wish for something to do.

[ShachonianX]

Granted, but what you do is jump off a cliff.

I wish I could create my own universe and control it.

[hawkinator]

Granted, but the universe is so small that there is nothing for you to do in it.

I wish for more bacon.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but now your hands are made out of bacon. It is actually not that bad once you get used to it, though try not and get addicted to eating your own hands. It takes a rather long time for them to heal (bacon based healing isn't all that efficient apparently)

I wish that my hands were made of hot pockets.