Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[Exploro]

Granted. It is no longer dead....after a fashion. You see, KSP2 exists now in a super-positional state. It is both dead and alive. However, to view any media source with information about the game now would cause that state to collapse, resulting in it becoming dead once again. Thus, you can never see anything more about the game nor ever play KSP2. But as long as the super-positional state is maintained, it can never truly die.

I wish to push a button and receive bacon.

Edited January 28 by Exploro
Sentence structure.

[ColdJ]

Granted: You push a button and a 1 ton pig named Bacon drops from the sky and crushes you.

I wish the temperature was mild.

[Exploro]

Penultimate thought before impact: BAM! That's a lot of bacon!

Ultimate thought before impact: Granted. But like hot sauce, mildness is subjective. Thus, the temperature you are experiencing now is mild to the old man in your midst who thinks a 90°F room is down right frigid. I can only imagine to what unbearable temperatures this man considers "mild". That is for however long I've left to imagine before meeting my porcine-based doom.

I wish for a pleasant...KA-BOOOM!  (Pig impact).

Edited January 29 by Exploro

[Scarecrow71]

Granted.

I mean, I find this song pleasant.

I wish Marilyn Manson would release new music.

[ColdJ]

Granted: They do but nobody will publish it.

I wish to "Stop, Hammer Time."

[Quinby Kerman]

You entirely stop all hammer time for a bit and everyone is mad now.

I wish for my homework to be completed

[ColdJ]

Granted: An AI does all your homework and learns, it goes on to have a high paying job, while you who never learned are lucky if you can make minimum wage.

I wish people thought before they bought.

[Exploro]

I have come back from the dead to grant you your wish. For one fleeting moment, all consumers, everywhere, pause to consider what it is they are buying. For one glorious moment the masses truly weigh whether the merchandise or good they intend to purchase at that moment offers any real value or utility. We are talking societal-changing, economic dynamic-shattering level of thought. But alas, such wonderful thinking lasted only a moment. The spark of enlightenment flickers out and the masses return to mindless consumers once again.

And on reflection, that makes me sad. I wish I was not sad.

Edited February 2 by Exploro

[Scarecrow71]

Granted.  You are wholly depressed, with a side of serious melancholy.  This goes far beyond sadness into utter and irrevocable despair.

I wish I was capable of providing happiness to everyone.

[Exploro]

Granted. You are able to provide happiness to everyone. But the price you pay for making everyone else happy...is a descent into utter and irrevocable despair. But fret not fellow melancholiac, for misery enjoys company.

I wish to afford the therapy bill.

[ColdJ]

Granted: You go and watch puppies and kittens playing, for free in a pet store. And for a while all of your despair goes away.

I wish to do this too.

[Exploro]

Granted. But wait, how is that corruptible? That sounds delightful. Did you just break the game ColdJ?

I wish for this game to continue.

[Scarecrow71]

Granted.  It continues, but without you.

I wish Exploro could figure out how to corrupt that last wish.

[ColdJ]

Granted: They worked how but never shared the answer.

I wish the milder seasons were longer.

[Kevin_kerman]

Granted, but they are only 1 second longer

I wish KSP was updated again

[Bobbejans]

Granted but it introduced pay to win mechanics 

i wish for a bagel

[ColdJ]

Granted: But the LOX you get with it freezes you solid.

I wish to control the spaces between molecules.

[Kevin_kerman]

Granted: But you are the size of a molecule

I wish for a piece of popcorn

[Bobbejans]

granted: it is stale

i wish for a car

[ColdJ]

Granted: It is carved from a nice block of wood.

I wish the lizard hadn't invited the mouse in to the house.

[Misguided Kerbal]

Granted. Instead, the mouse invites the lizard into the house.

I wish I wouldn't hear that weird crackle that comes up in my headphones every so often, infrequently enough to be an actual problem, but frequently enough that it's sort of kind of annoying when it does indeed inevitably come back up.

Edited Monday at 02:13 AM by Misguided Kerbal

[ColdJ]

Granted: It goes completely silent.

I wish that things you are used to and need didn't keep going away.

[Quinby Kerman]

Granted: nothing goes away anymore you have doomed us alllllllll        *spoooOOOoOoOoOOky*

I wish @ColdJ stops 

[ColdJ]

Granted: ColdJ stops global warming, taco Tuesdays, traffic, Hermit Crab migration, entropy, the tides...........

I wish I could remember how to use SOH CAH TOA