Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[ShachonianX]

Granted, but the hot pockets burn you alive.

I wish I could have my wish horribly corrupted.

[hawkinator]

Granted, your wish becomes so corrupted that it kills you.

I wish I owned an indestructible version of the Death Star.

[chobit-389]

Granted, you now own the Artemis Necklace, too bad it's soon destroyed by fast moving weaponized blocks of ice

I wish for Reinhard von Lohengramm's epic cape

[SpaceK531]

Granted, but it snags on something and tears.

I wish for pseudo-multiplayer or lan capabilities in KSP.

[ShachonianX]

Granted, but the lag destroys your computer.

I wish I could have a pet dinosaur.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but it is a hungry Yoshi.

I wish that the internet was a nice and polite place.

Edited May 6, 2013 by (An Original Name)

[Dynamo]

Granted, but it's only because SOPA and PIPA were passed.

I wish that i could photosynthesize.

[SpaceK531]

granted. You are now a potted plant.

I wish for some fried chicken.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but you are the chicken who is being fried.

I wish that there was a Halo ring in the Kerbol System.

[SpaceK531]

Granted, but since it's KSP it causes the game to crash and/or deletes the solar system.

I wish that you would post more.

[Jarod645]

Granted, but the forums crash again because the amount of posts overload the servers.

I wish I had a bottomless soda that was actually bottomless.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but now everyone is a clone of me.

I wish that I had a Lockeed F-104 Starfighter.

[hawkinator]

Granted, but it blows up and you die.

I wish I had a sonic screwdriver.

[Flixxbeatz]

Granted. Enjoy screwing yourself at sonic speeds.

I wish for a chocolate chip cookie.

[AncientAstronaut]

Granted... It's laced with cyanide.

I wish I could have a free trip to the moon and return after landing with absolutely no chance for failure and a nominal flight ensuing.

[POTKC]

Granted. You come back to find the whole Earth going through a nuclear war (started by North Korea).

I wish I was really the President of Kerbin. (Look at my profile.)

[hawkinator]

Granted, but the first official flight of Air Force K goes horribly wrong.

I wish it I could be one of the first humans to travel outside our solar system.

[Flixxbeatz]

Granted, but you're now already dead due to old age once you've exited the solar system.

I wish for more awesomeness.

[MmPMSFmM]

Granted, You are now the pet of Caesar Milan, who is going to learn you all kinds of awesome tricks.

I wish I had a grain of sand.

[AncientAstronaut]

Granted, but it explosively detonates in your hand.

I wish I had infinite money and could spend it whenever I wanted on whatever I wanted.

[MmPMSFmM]

Granted, You have been given an infinite amount of US dollars. Canada takes over the USA and declares the USD to be worthless from that day on.

I wish I had a cat, which would not harm me.

[Flixxbeatz]

Granted. Here's a Tiger. It will not harm you, but straight kill and eat you instead.

I wish for a time paradox.

[satcharna]

Granted, but as a result of the paradox, you never make the wish in the first place.

I wish my headset didn't keep running out of battery charge.

[MmPMSFmM]

Granted, instead, it slowly vanished and eventually ran out of atoms.

I wish I could wish that I could wish that wishes can be wished.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but thr6ey346g3y63645rfgvverthrfth6h56y567y546. In other words, your wish makes my head hurt.

I wish that I could go back to the future.