Dman979

Ah, hahaha! Those are great! I love the one about explaining why an 82 isn't an A. I actually had a student ask me why her 62 wasn't a B at least... After all, she worked really hard in my class...

Here's one I am sure you're going to love. And unfortunately, it is true.

Back in 2007, I was teaching at the University of Southern Indiana. The first class of the morning was HIS 101, which was U.S. History to 1865 and it was an 8:30 a.m. class. "Monica" (a name I will give her since I cannot use her real name), came into class about ten minutes late and wearing an IHOP uniform. No big deal, really. But I, like everyone else was surprised to see her wearing a work uniform. Her mother is an attorney in Newburgh and her father is a doctor.... So...

She walked into the class and was very disruptive as she took her third row seat (it was a stadium-seating style class room). And as she sat down, she looked right at me and said, "Don't you say anything about me being late, doctor. It's President Bush's fault and it's yours, and anyone else's who voted for him -- and he's why I'm late!"

I had to ask. No, I mean it, I HAD to ask...

Me: So how is it Bush's fault you're late?

Her: It's Bush's fault gas is over $4 a gallon!

Me: And that's his fault how?

Her: Because of that damn Bush and him making gas so high, I had to get a job.

Me: How did President Bush make you get a job?

Her: My parents gave me $7,000 for a car. Well, I couldn't find one that I liked. So I used it as a down payment on a Mustang. And my car payment is $380 a month!

Me: I'd have bought something a lot cheaper. There's good used cars starting at $4,000 and up...

Her: I'm not going to ride around in someone else's wreck! I mean, look at me, how can you expect someone who looks like this to ride in a used car?! (Yeah, the irony... she's wearing an IHOP uniform!)

Me: I still don't understand --

Her: Let me spell it out for you. So I have a car payment. Then I have a Discover card (what? I didn't get a Discover card until I was 40!) and now I have to pay them payments of $270 a month! (Um, what kind of credit limit does she have? I have a 10k limit, but then again, I've never charged anything over $500!) They threatened to sue me because they said I owed $XX,XXX (I can't remember if it was $20k or $25k) and I've not made a payment in six months...

Me: I still do not understand how that's President Bush's fault --

Her: I'm getting to it! See, I also got my third DUI over spring  break (okay, 19 years old and THIRD DUI?) and my parents' insurance dropped my coverage. So now, I'm having to get the state bonding insurance and that's $300 a month! And see, it's Bush's fault I had to get a job. I was doing okay until my parents cut me off. And it's Bush's fault. Had he not made gas cost so high, I wouldn't have to work!