How to Be Evil!

[KerbalOmmex]

1/10 The Universe will just say (Invalid problem)

I will install my special .exe virus on all government devices that turns every file into an executable. Mwagahahaha

[EliasDanger]

10.1/10 - cuz it was a little extra evil to borrow the virus idea from my evil plan to yours.

 

Tell a Kerbal you are sending him on a mission to land on Eeloo, but program the flight computer to just do a flyby and sling shot off into interstellar space. Make sure there's enough life support to last 50 years, but not enough delta-v to ever turn around and come home.

[KerbalOmmex]

Also, to tell you the truth... I accidentally made a virus that turns all .exe fikes into .pdf ones.... Corrupted my PC and sokved by deleting Adobe Reader.... As a 6 year old...

[Matuchkin]

4/10. You're supposed to be doing evil stuff, not talking about yourself...

I'll flip the screen of every six year old with a computer, see how they react.

Edited May 28, 2016 by Matuchkin

[TopHeavy11]

1/10 They can just ask they're parents to flip them back up again.

 

I erase all of your memories.

[SinBad]

1/10 I won't know what I'm missing.

Invent a cure for cancer, withhold cure from patients until those who love them commit an evil deed of my choosing. Use love to make good people do evil things.

[TopHeavy11]

11/10 GLaDOS level evil.

[Delfinus]

11/10 Unlimited possibilities.

 

I send a message to a warlike alien race with FTL and weapons much more advanced than ours that enslaves all other sentient races less powerful than them, letting them know we exist.

[cubinator]

10/10 almost as bad as Big Brother.

I teleport everyone to exactly the opposite point on the world from where they are now (keeping them on the surface).

[TedwinKnockman66]

10.99/10 Not too evil.

I will try make matter from nothing, and it make a big KABOOM in densely populated part of the galaxy.

[PB666]

44 minutes ago, TedwinKnockman66 said:

10.99/10 Not too evil.

I will try make matter from nothing, and it make a big KABOOM in densely populated part of the galaxy.

Nice light show 2/10 

I will learn how to make a quantum singularity, then have a program to create a new Universe at the average point in space-time in which the word Kardashian and booty are  mentioned in the same sentence. 

[TrainEngie]

3/10 More like obnoxious.

 

I will create a world language in which the concept, "bacon" and "pizza," do not exist, and force everybody in the world to speak it using a humongous army and an insane ideology.

[PB666]

Gluten and tyramine intolerant, that would be a pleasant language -5/10

I buy the great lakes and move a black hole to the bottom of the mariannas trench,msucking up the entire ocean and forcing everyone to buy my water. (having the forethought to place pipelines to all the major urban areas in advance. 

[TedwinKnockman66]

9/10 Very nice plan! but they can use alternate methods to get the water.

I will destroy my own race at the same time destroy the home planet by using Star Shaker V0.1( It's Giant laser what can break into pieces a planet's)

[cubinator]

9/10 but unfortunately for you, such a weapon is required by the laws of plot physics to have one fatal flaw, being a hole just big enough for a proton torpedo to enter to the main reactor core.

 

 

I divert a solar-mass black hole (with a wormhole or something) to pass through the inner solar system, screwing up all the orbits enough to devastate climate.

[PB666]

12 hours ago, cubinator said:

9/10 but unfortunately for you, such a weapon is required by the laws of plot physics to have one fatal flaw, being a hole just big enough for a proton torpedo to enter to the main reactor core.

 

 

I divert a solar-mass black hole (with a wormhole or something) to pass through the inner solar system, screwing up all the orbits enough to devastate climate.

8/10 but as some are adversely affect others are pleasantly amused. 

I create a virus that can track packets anywhere on the internet, i then extort everyone for everything they do on the internet that might embarrass them. 

[Astrofox]

oh god/terrifying... i.e. 7/10

I create a fake Minecraft App that is practically a scam and seems totally believable (Trust me, I fell for one. It claimed to be a bunch of nice tutorials, but I was only given crafting recipes that didn't exist, as well as a stupid quiz. I paid $1.99 USD. I wish I could have gotten a refund).

Edited June 13, 2016 by Astrofox

[max_creative]

10/10! 

I do all of the following:

I take a car that's double parked, and cut it in half and put the other part in the parking space. The car is now properly parked and never going to be functional again.

I steal a nuclear submarine to get revenge and steal my hat back from somebody. 

I turn a government building into a giant ball pit. 

I make a virus that reads back what you say in the comments on YouTube before you post it. 

I convince people the E to the Pi minus Pi equals 20. 

I move some land mines so instead of blowing up the target it blows up someone's garage. 

I wear a black hat. BUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (Take a guess where I got these ideas!)

[Spaceception]

10/10, evil

 

I replace all TV shows to play never give you up.

24/7/365

And make the code in such a way, that it would take international efforts 2000 years to break it.

[Astrofox]

Dang, it's so evil it's off the charts! (in other words, the highest of all Aleph Numbers out of 10).

 

I launch a rocket that releases a super-harmful CFC that could really screw us over.

[SinBad]

5/10 nothing we are not already doing.

 

I invent an automobile engine that runs on a free alternative fuel. the tears of puppies. The accelerator pedal activates an electrode implanted in the pain centre of the brain of the puppies in the fuel cage. Comes in various power levels ranging from one toy poodle puppy power all the way up to an 8 pack of week old saint bernards. Industrial engines are exclusivly powered by dalmation puppies. Hundreds of them. The engines cost less than a family dinner to buy. Ill make a loss, but its a public service.

 

Now lets talk about that whale oil powered ftl engine in the next lab over...

[TopHeavy11]

It's evil, Jim, but not as we know it.

Whale oil: EVIL! FTL drive: MIRACLE!

 

I destroy the laws of reality itself and make everyone suffer eternal bloody torture.

Edited June 14, 2016 by TopHeavy11

[cubinator]

We are already on the brink on destroying the laws of reality...

10/10 for bloody eternal torture, though.

I focus all of the Sun's light onto a 1 meter patch of Earth's surface.

[SinBad]

all the light? from the entire surface?

0.5/10 it would punch through the planet so fast that there likely would only be local damage from the vaporised matter blowing out.

 

oh, wait. how fast does the earth rotate?

 

ok, 10/10 for slowly slicing the planet in two over 12 hours

 

i would secretly swap out my workplaces coffee supply with decaf. the following week will be a lot of fun to watch as tempers explode as everybody dries out. but then i can change it back and watch all the 10 cup a day drinkers slam a massive dose after their tolerance has worn off.

 

[cubinator]

1 hour ago, SinBad said:

all the light? from the entire surface?

0.5/10 it would punch through the planet so fast that there likely would only be local damage from the vaporised matter blowing out.

 

oh, wait. how fast does the earth rotate?

 

ok, 10/10 for slowly slicing the planet in two over 12 hours

No localized damage, this strips away the whole atmosphere and completely melts the planet, like this.

1 hour ago, SinBad said:

i would secretly swap out my workplaces coffee supply with decaf. the following week will be a lot of fun to watch as tempers explode as everybody dries out. but then i can change it back and watch all the 10 cup a day drinkers slam a massive dose after their tolerance has worn off.

 

5/10 more of a prank than a legitimately evil plot.

I build trillions of flying nanobots that fly up everyone's noses.

Edited June 15, 2016 by cubinator