Unhelpful Life Hacks

[Deddly]

Give us your most unhelpful tips for daily life. Please limit it to one at a time, and nothing that is actually a good idea

• Lose 1 kg of weight overnight by drinking a litre of water before going to bed

[Andem]

If you murder someone, bury them 6ft. under a dead dog. When the police try to dig up the body, they'll find the dog and think it's a false positive.

[goldenpeach]

Lose weight easily by going to the toilet!

Getting rid of that biological waste will reduce your weight!

 

warning: effect might not be sustainable in the long term

[Deddly]

• Don't have much time and your craft is decending into the atmosphere too slowly? Cut the parachute to get to the ground faster.

[Tex]

No clean cups for those healthy drinks of water? No problem! Drink from the tap 100% of the time and never dirty a cup again.

[cubinator]

You can kill bacteria and viruses on your hands by burning them!

[worir4]

Wan't to get a car but don't have the money?

Steal one. You get the car you want and you don't loose any money!

It's fool proof.....

[CAKE99]

Got a minor cut? You can get rid of it instantly by cutting it off!

 

4 hours ago, Maximus97 said:

No clean cups for those healthy drinks of water? No problem! Drink from the tap 100% of the time and never dirty a cup again.

I actually do that IRL.

4 hours ago, Andem said:

If you murder someone, bury them 6ft. under a dead dog. When the police try to dig up the body, they'll find the dog and think it's a false positive.

You can do something similar in the game Yandere Simulator, (not sure if it's implemented yet, or if it's still being worked on).

[kerbiloid]

Lost on Moon? Want to breathe? Do not worry, Moon does mostly consist of oxygen.

[Deddly]

• Tired of getting bruises and injuries when skiing? Try going to one of those places with prepared routes instead of holding on behind cars on the motorway.

[Dman979]

Running low on food? Cut off an arm and eat it! Not only will you gain calories, but your overall caloric needs will be reduced!

[ZentroCatson]

Do you have tons of annoying little flys in your kitchen? Don't worry, just catch some frogs and let magic happen!

[Deddly]

• Kitchen overrun by frogs? It's easy to fix! Just release a few Grass Snakes and they will take care of the problem for you.

[The Raging Sandwich]

How do you get those pesky birds to stop chirping in the morning by your window? It's easy! Just get the shotgun, and...

[njmksr]

Lose weight easily by removing excess limbs!

[MDZhB]

Protip: shoot yourself with smaller caliber bullets to build up an immunity to larger caliber bullets.

[SinBad]

Are you sick, but cant afford those expensive perscription antibiotics?

Most over the counter hand sanitisers can kill up to 99.9% of bacteria at a fraction of the cost. In fact, many hospitals, clinics and pharmacists will have a dispenser available for free public use.

Just take a few swallows for free and save your cash!

[njmksr]

Protip: You have two lungs, so sell one of them on the black market for an easy profit!

[insert_name]

Spoiler

I'm gonna leave this here

[njmksr]

Protip: If you have problems with constipation or need a quick cleanse, try Sugar Free Gummy Bears!

WARNING: Don't actually do this. The reviews provided in the link should provide reason enough to not attempt consumption of these monstrosities.

Edited October 2, 2016 by njmksr

[kerbiloid]

Tried the previous protip? Swallowed 20 Sugar Free Gummy Bears? Got knots in your intestines?

Just eat a Sugar Free Duke Igthorn, and they will be full of each other.

[cubinator]

Dump corn starch in your drains and rinse to clean them!

[RocketSquid]

Do you have small, hard to get out stains on your carpets? These can be easily removed with a chainsaw.

[Dman979]

Have a clog in your toilet? Fill the tank with mercury, and flush!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvVaaZ21C44

 

[CAKE99]

10 hours ago, njmksr said:

Protip: You have two lungs, so sell one of them on the black market for an easy profit!

You also have 2 intestines! You can sell one of the intestines on the black market as well!

There's a male-specific thing that humans have 2 of, one of them can be sold on the black market as well, not saying what it is though.

Edited October 3, 2016 by CAKE99